The Blue Hour
by Rubberduck697
Summary: “Do you know who I am?” I asked, before I could stop myself. She considered for a moment then finally replied, “No, I have no idea,” my dead heart fell a little, and I turned for the door again, “But I dream about you almost every night!” EPOV
1. A Tragic End

Cruel Master, Kind Mistress, Fair Friend, Fate.

Call me what you may, but know one thing.

Love is my Lord.

Chapter 1 – EPOV

I sat very still. Oh how frequent this activity had become for me in the past fifty three years. If I wasn't skilled at the undertaking when I first began, then by now I had to be the world's most proficient sitter by a long shot. While I sat I tried to halt the flow of my own thoughts as they threatened to bombard my mind and I longed for the release that I knew would only come with sleep.

I longed for sleep more than anything else this cruel world had to offer. Such an enchanting and elusive concept that one such as myself would never meet again. And to sleep perchance to dream, but alas dreams are only for those who have a soul, something I have been without for more than a century and a half.

I had once considered my after life on this earth something akin to purgatory, a way to atone for the many sins I had committed against mankind, specifically all the people I had killed. Up to that point, I had only destroyed the most evil, cruel people I could find, murderers and rapists with souls nearly as gone as mine. It wasn't until that fateful day fifty three years ago, when I allowed the most precious and pure creature on the face of this planet to perish that my real hell began. _Bella_

And there it was. All of my hard work and attempts to avoid thinking about the most painful and torturous of all subjects always lead to this. My love, how could I have abandoned you? How could I have left you unprotected? How could I have let you die? It was entirely my fault and nobody knew better than I that life was not worth living, once you've lost your one and only love, once you've lost the whole reason for your existence. I tried in vain to keep the images of that last day from filling my mind once again, but with the perfect clarity that only accompanies the mind of a vampire such as myself, I relived the last day of the only life I had ever known.

_It was about 3 am and a resolution had finally settled in my mind. It was impossible for me to live without her. I looked around the dusty attic crawlspace where I had settled myself for the past week and half with new eyes, eyes that were finally open. I needed her and that was it. No matter how wrong it was of me, or how dangerous it was for me to be around her, there was absolutely no way I would be able to live without her for one more day. I was giving in to my selfish nature, and I was sinfully joyous. _

_I knew what I had to do, and it would not be easy. I had to go back to Forks and beg for her forgiveness. I had to tell her the truth. The day I left, I had told her that I no longer loved her, and oh what a blasphemous lie it was. If there were any way that I couldn't love her, it would only be because some genius had invented a word ten thousand times stronger and more binding than the truest love, and I would simply adopt that word to use instead of love. The only reason I left was for her safety. I wanted her to have a normal, human life. I didn't want her to have to risk her life every time she was around me. I wanted her to be married someday, and most of all I wanted her to be happy. _

_But what a fool I was to think that I would be able to overcome my selfishness in order to let that happen. I needed her like the earth needs the sun, like a fish needs water, like a human needs air. And so I stood and felt my rumpled hair brush the bottom of a cobweb covered chandelier. I smiled as I took one final glance at the musty crawlspace where I had had my epiphany, and realized that it was almost charming, at least in the elated mood I was enjoying currently. _

_In the early morning darkness which would all but blind a human, I crept out of the old apartment like the creature of the night that I am, and made my way toward the forests of Virginia. After a few minutes of running at a pace so fast that it was completely indiscernible to a non-vampire, other than a slight rustle of leaves in my passing, I decided it would be faster to take a plane rather than run the whole way back to Washington. I slowed my pace and whipped out my cell phone dialing the number of a nearby airport within the time it would take a human to blink. _

_As soon as an airport associate answered, in a less than friendly manner I might add, I practically begged for a list of the flights that would be leaving for Seattle, Washington that morning. The frosty gentleman on the other end of the phone informed me that the earliest plane would be leaving at quarter after six. I would have a layover in Chicago, Mid-way of all places, so with the time difference I would be arriving a little after ten a.m. in Seattle. I eagerly booked the flight using one of my false names, Edmund Bertram, a name which I knew Bella would enjoy since she was such an Austen fan. _

_With over two and a half hours before my flight's departure I decided to hunt a little before heading to the airport. Lord knows how hard it is to resist the smell of human blood, especially in close proximity, but pack 150 humans together in a flying tin can, and my endurance is sure to be put to the test even when I'm not thirsty. So for the sake of all the humans on the plane, a few deer and with any luck a mountain lion would have to make the ultimate sacrifice in an attempt to mitigate my insatiable thirst._

_Of course my flight was delayed in the windy city of Chicago. Despite being in my hometown, the city in which I was born the first time, and then born again as a vampire, I could not feel less at home. The only place I ever felt truly at home was with Bella, and I was more than a little bit anxious to see her again. I realized it would probably be a long time before she trusted me again or even considered taking me back, but I didn't care. I would stay as long as it took, I would stay forever just to be close to her and to be able to peer into those two beautiful and too deep pools of warmth and perception. The chocolately colored orbs which have taken up residence on her lovely face where her eyes should be. _

_Thinking about Bella and the miracle she represented helped me pass the time at the airport while I waited for my flight. The putrid smells wafting out of the airport restaurants along with the tantalizingly sweet aromas of the thousands of humans passing me and heading for their destinations was completely lost on me. Even the voices which rang out from each of their unoriginal minds in my head could not distract me in the slightest. The only thing I cared to have occupying my mind in this world was Bella. If I were to see her in the next second, it wouldn't be soon enough. _

_Finally a little after 11 a.m. Pacific Time, I exited the plane in Seattle. The sky was bleak, and far darker than usual, even for Washington. Normally I would be glad of an overcast sky because it meant that I wouldn't have to hide myself from the sun. This was different though, as soon as I stepped off the plane, something felt wrong about this weather. As I walked out the automatic doors of the first floor exit, I felt the pressure in the air outside. It was heavy like a severe thunderstorm was brewing not too far out in the Pacific, so heavy that it made me want to collapse onto the ground the way cows lie down before a rain shower. _

_I pulled my phone out of my pocket and turned it on. It read 8 missed calls and 2 voicemails across the top, and my ominous feeling doubled. Nobody had tried to contact me in weeks. The last I had heard from my family was that Carlisle and Esme were taking a vacation in Europe while Jasper, Emmett, Alice, and Rosalie stayed with the Denali coven. _

_The first two calls were from Alice, I assumed she must have foreseen me going back to Forks, so of course a joyous call from her was only to be expected. The next six, oddly enough, were from Rosalie. I had no idea what she could possibly have to say to me, but I doubted it would be pleasant. Rosalie, my ever self-centered and self-righteous sister had refused to even speak to me when I asked that we all move away from Forks to give Bella a chance at a normal life. At the time I hadn't been in any mood to speak to even my family when we first left Bella, so I didn't really mind her being angry at me, although her caustic thoughts toward me grew tiresome in a matter of days. I highly doubted she was calling to give me any kind of apology, and I doubted I deserved one anyway. It also seemed unlikely that she would be so desperate to berate me some more that she would call six times, so there was no other reason for her to contact me. _

_I dialed my voicemail and waited. As suspected, the first message was from chipper Alice at about 1:00 a.m. Pacific Time, which meant 4:00 a.m. in Virginia, a mere hour after I had made my decision to return to Forks. _

"_Edward, Edward, Edward!" she squealed into the phone, then in her bird voice she chirped off at a speed too quick for human comprehension "I'm so glad you changed your mind. Don't worry I know she'll take you back. Sorry I missed you, I would have called sooner, but I was out hunting with Jazz. We rushed back as soon as I saw you had made up your mind. I don't see you arriving in Seattle until late morning, give Bella my regards!"_

_I had to smile a little at my sister's enthusiasm. Alice loved Bella like her own sister and I realized now that it was wrong for me to make them all leave like that. I knew Rosalie would be all too quick to agree with me there. I waited impatiently for Rose's message to play. _

"_Edward," she began in her perfect voice which went a little too well with the rest of her too perfect body, "Look I have some, er-," Rose stuttered. That was odd, Rosalie was nothing if not sure of herself, stuttering was just something that didn't exist in her world. "I have some unfortunate news," she continued slowly, "It's about Bella," my dead heart grew colder, and I was beginning to panic. My ominous feeling was being confirmed, and I was about to tear through the phone if Rosalie didn't tell me what happened, and quickly. "It's not right for me to tell you this as a message, so just give me a call back when you get to Seattle, there's something you need to know," she finished. _

_If she knew I was going to be in Washington, then that meant Alice had told her about the vision. But what had happened to Bella? Did Alice have another vision? Maybe Alice saw that Bella didn't take me back or maybe she had found somebody else like I had intended when I left. I could live with that, as long as Bella was happy, my happiness could wait. But what if Bella was in trouble? What if she needed me?_

_I quickly dialed Rose back and she answered on the first ring, "Edward?"_

"_Rose, what's wrong?" I shouted into the phone catching the eye of some airport attendants working outside. _

"_Edward, it's Bella. Look I don't know how to tell you this, but she's--," she hesitated, and I almost growled._

"_What Rose?" I said with as much control as I could muster._

"_Bella's dead," she whispered, almost as if she cared. _

"_What?" I stammered. I couldn't make sense of it. In fact, there was no sense to be made of those words. What point could this universe possibly have with Bella not in it? Bella couldn't be dead. But I of all people, of all creatures who walked this planet knew how fragile she was. I knew she was a breakable as a China doll; in fact that was why I had left in the first place. So she could live. There was no possible way Bella could be dead, I wouldn't allow it. _

"_Bella's dead Edward," she said more forcefully, "Alice had a vision earlier this morning. It was Bella. She jumped off a cliff into the ocean, the currents were really strong in the water and she smashed her head on a boulder. Edward, Alice's vision went dark from there."_

_And that was it. That was all I could handle. I flipped my phone closed and let my knees collapse below me so that I was crouched, hovering over the ground hugging my knees to my chest. I felt like I had died myself. This couldn't be happening. Maybe Alice's vision was wrong. There was a first time for everything, I had to be sure. I was in Washington already so all I would have to do is drive or run to Forks and find out what happened, see it for myself. I knew it was insane to try and prove one of Alice's visions wrong. I had never succeeded in proving her wrong before and there was no way she would be wrong about something so severe. _

_I vaguely noticed the thoughts circling me. Mild curiosity about why I was balled up in a near fetal position filled the thoughts of most of the insignificant humans as they walked by me toward the street. Most people dismissed me as a lunatic or a crazy teenager. I heard one set of thoughts from nearby that was a little disconcerting because they were actually familiar. _

Maybe he hasn't left the airport yet, oh I hope he hasn't found out yet. He just can't do anything drastic. Oh poor, poor Edward. _It was Alice. I couldn't begin to comprehend how she had gotten here so quickly, but it looked as though she was going to try to stop me from doing anything drastic, whatever that may be. _Oh there he is. _She sighed within her mind. _Well it looks like he knows. _She thought with sad and bitter disappointment. _Edward!_ She called to me in her mind, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her or even move. "Edward!" she progressed to saying my name out loud, but I felt more frozen than a statue at the North Pole. _

_In seconds she was at my side. She wrapped her tiny arms around my body and I felt myself shaking with the silent sobs and tears that would never come. As if the sky decided to answer my request for tears, it began to rain. I still couldn't move. I sat there in Alice's arms letting the sobs rock my entire being as tears from the sky drenched our faces and our clothes. _We should see if Charlie needs any help with the funeral, this has to be really hard on him. _Alice thought. I nodded and allowed Alice to lift me off the ground, she was surprisingly strong for such a little sprite. _

_Alice and I rented a car and drove to Forks only slightly faster than a normal human being. We pulled up in front of Charlie Swan's house and parked the car. We both listened to see what was going on inside and I heard Charlie's muddled thoughts louder than I had ever heard them before. Complete and utter devastation, not so unlike my own emotions, ruled his thoughts. Alice and I could hear him weeping from outside and it was a heartbreaking sound because it confirmed what Alice had seen. Bella was gone, and I was left alone in this world once again. _

_I hadn't noticed at first, but there were other sounds, other people's thoughts emanating from the house as well. Odd, there weren't any other cars in the driveway. I opened the door so I could get a look through the window at who was in the house with Charlie, but the smell that cascaded into the car immediately set my senses on red alert. It was an overpowering scent of wet dog. Not good. I slammed the door and Alice looked at me in confusion. "It's a werewolf, maybe even multiple," I said softly. My voice was slightly more than dead, much like the rest of my body, but I was not about to let a werewolf close enough to hurt Alice, not after I had just lost Bella. I knew I was being silly, Alice was more than capable of protecting herself, but I was confused in my mind thinking about Bella and Alice looked so fragile at first glance, so much like Bella. _

_Alice looked at me puzzled, she hadn't joined our family yet the last time we had been in Forks, when we met the werewolves the first time. "I thought you said the line died out a long time ago," she finally answered, just as quietly, "We still abide by the treaty with the Quileute natives, but I thought we came back in the first place because we were certain the wolves were gone," she continued. _

"_They were gone, but that smell," I paused to roll her window down and let her sniff the air a little better, "It's unmistakable, that's werewolf alright, I don't know what they're doing here though. You don't think they could have had anything to do with Bella's death do you?" as soon as I asked, burning red anger began to fill me. I would destroy anybody who may have had a hand in Bella's death, I would tear them limb from limb. But then I thought about it, Bella had launched herself off a cliff, was it suicide? I felt utterly miserable, I refused to believe that Bella would do that to me, but then again she thought I didn't love her. I couldn't bring myself to continue that train of thought. _

_Alice shrugged, sensing where my train of thought had led me. "We don't know anything for sure," she said calmly. "It looks like Charlie has enough people around to help him take care of this, maybe we shouldn't barge in on him," Alice stated. I knew she was really concerned more about me than Charlie and she knew staying around here would be unbearably hard for me. If she knew Charlie's thoughts, she would understand how truly unwelcome we were there anyway, or at least how unwelcome I was. _

"_Let's just stay and listen for a few more minutes," I said with my dead voice. She nodded and looked toward the house where we could hear a conversation between Charlie and his visitors. But Alice couldn't hear the condemning thoughts passing through Charlie Swan's mind. I understood he needed someone to blame for the loss of his precious daughter, and I couldn't help agreeing that he had chosen the correct person to blame, me. It was my fault. _

If he hadn't left her, she wouldn't have jumped. _Charlie kept thinking over and over again. _How could he leave her like that? _He continued._ How could he leave Bella here and never contact her once. The poor girl was devastated. If he knew how dead she was without him. Not one letter! _Charlie was thinking of Bella, picturing her in his mind, while one of his visitors, a Quileute man named Sam, described how they performed CPR and rushed her to the hospital, when they got her out of the water. Charlie was thinking what I hadn't dared believe, what I couldn't bring myself to admit. Bella had committed suicide because she was so depressed, depressed because I had abandoned her. _

What kind of monster am I?_ I thought to myself. I couldn't bear to listen anymore to the spoken conversation or the thoughts which belonged to Charlie and his Quileute visitors. I resigned myself to sitting in silence with my head in my hands. _

_I had noticed earlier that one of the Quileute visitors, Jacob, had been particularly heartbroken about the whole ordeal. He was admonishing himself because he had been unable to save Bella; it was as if he lost the one he loved as well. I remembered him from the prom last year, he had barged in to give Bella a warning about vampires. In his mind he was picturing swimming through the strong currents with Bella in tow, trying to keep her head above water and get her back to land. That was interesting enough indeed, a normal human should not be strong enough to fight those currents, let alone tow a 100 lb girl along with him. Then I realized, of course, these Quileute tribesmen were the werewolves I smelled out here. My mind went into overdrive, I had to save Charlie, there was no way he knew that he was in the presence of three potentially dangerous werewolves. I jumped out of the car, startling Alice, but she was by my side in less than half a second. _

"_Edward? What are you doing?" she asked out loud before I could stop her, but it was already too late, the werewolves inside had noticed our presence, and we now no longer had the element of surprise on our side. _

"_Alice, those are the werewolves!" I would have yelled if my voice hadn't been so dead, "We have to save Charlie," I continued. _

"_Oh!" she gasped, "Right, Charlie!" We began to creep toward the door, but before we could get any closer, the three werewolves had exited the house and were walking straight towards us in their human forms with looks of pure loathing on each of their faces. _

"_What business could you possibly have here, you filthy bloodsuckers!" said the one I remembered as Jacob. He was so much taller and bigger than I last I saw him, a few long months ago. There was a glint of something in his eye, as if he had never seen something he hated so much in his entire life. His thoughts were practically screaming at me._

I know you can hear me bloodsucker, and there's only two reasons I'm not ripping you to smithereens right now! One, Charlie. I'd rather not let him see that his daughter was so heartbroken over a stupid, filthy, bloodsucking leech. Two, Bella. _The name hurt to think of, especially to hear it from this overgrown and extremely dangerous wolf-boy. Sam, who I assumed was the pack leader, placed his hand on Jacob's arm and ordered him to relax. _

_Sam turned to us now, and spoke with only a slightly less acidic tone. I inched myself a little bit in front of Alice to protect her. "I can't imagine what business you could possibly think you have here, but I assure you that if you step in that house with Charlie Swan right now, I will view that as a violation of the treaty and we will have no choice but to attack, am I understood?" _

_I completely ignored him, and instead turned to face Jacob, "What about her, Jacob?" I pleaded. "What about Bella?" my voice broke. _

_He gave me the most disgusted look he could muster before he explained with both his thoughts and his words. "On her deathbed, Bella made me swear that I would never hurt you. She begged me to honor her memory by not tracking you down or trying to harm you in any way." As he spoke he pictured the scene in his mind, and I grasped onto those last moments of Bella's life like a starving man grabbing for a scrap of bread. _

"_She banged her head on the rocks below the cliff where she jumped, she wasn't strong enough to fight the current," he continued. His tone drifting into an angrier, even more bitter than before. When I saw what happened, I rushed in and tried to pull her to safety, but she was unconscious. We performed CPR and called an ambulance. In the hospital they found that her skull was cracked and she was bleeding very intensely internally, it was clouding out her brain. They didn't think she would regain consciousness at all. But what do you know," he scoffed, "She had a few words for her precious bloodsuckers."_

_I felt any color in my face fade completely. Jacob was picturing the scene at the hospital. Bella looked so peaceful despite the purpling bruises which covered her neck and the left side of her face close to the hairline. "Edward?" she whispered. Jacob was shocked. _

"_No Bella, it's me Jacob, your best friend," he said softly back, trying to hide his disappointment. _

"_I'm so sorry Jacob, it was an accident I promise!" she tried to face him but he put his hand on her face and kept her still._

"_Don't move Bella, it's okay, I know it was an accident."_

"_Jake I just wanted to hear his voice. I just wanted to hear it one last time." She looked so weak, even more breakable than normal. But now Jacob was fuming. _This was the reason she had jumped off a cliff? To hear the voice of her beloved leech one last time. She made absolutely no sense sometimes. _Ever perceptive Bella caught the glimpse of anger that was hiding behind Jacob's calm façade, and she blanched. "Jacob," she begged, a plan clearly forming in her mind, "promise me something."_

"_Anything," he responded, though he knew he would regret this. _

"_Promise me you'll never hurt him, no matter what!"_

"_Excuse me?" Jacob was in disbelief. Bella was dying and she was begging him, a werewolf who loved her to protect the stupid bloodsucker, his sworn enemy, who she loved more than anything in the world. _How could I expect anything less from Bella?_ He thought wryly to himself._

"_Please just honor my memory, and don't track him down, and don't ever hurt him or try to kill him, please Jacob!" she tried again._

"_Fine! I won't hurt a hair on the pretty little head of your precious parasite. Any other ridiculous requests?"_

_She smiled and Jacob couldn't help but smile back, even though he was in the greatest pain he had ever felt. "No," she said weakly, "I'm sorry Jacob, tell Charlie I'm sorry too, and Ed-," tears filled her eyes as if it was too hard for her to say the name, or think about him. "I just wish I could see him one last time," she breathed barely more than a whisper as her eyes drooped and a single tear fell down her cheek. Jake hardly noticed as her heart rate began to slow and the monitor's beeps got louder and more spaced out. He was too focused on the dying form of the girl he loved, and her final words only broke his heart further, "I love you Edward," the ringing in his ears only doubled got louder when he looked up and saw that it was coming from her heart rate monitor. _

"_Nurse!" he tried to yell, but his throat was too dry. It didn't matter because the nurses were running into the room already anyway. They used the defibrillator to try and restart her heart, but the doctors knew it was hopeless. Her time of death was recorded at 10:06 a.m. the exact time I was supposed to arrive in the Seattle airport if my plane hadn't been delayed in Chicago. _

_I hadn't even noticed that I had fallen to the ground again as the tearless sobs filled my body. "Please," I heard Jacob say quietly and I looked up to meet his eyes. "Please just leave, I can't stand to have you around if I'm going to keep true to Bella's promise."_

_Alice was next to me again, wrapping her arms around my shoulders again and trying to pull me back to my feet. She had been listening to Jacob's story out loud, while I watched it in his head. "Come on Edward, let's go. There's nothing more we can do here."_

"_Oh Alice," I cried, "Don't you see, this is all because of me. I never should have left her. I just wanted her to have a normal, human life, but instead I destroyed her, such a pure and beautiful creature, I let her die, it's because of me!" Alice let me sit there for a few more moments. "I should just let him kill me now," I continued mournfully, "What point is there to this life without Bella?"_

_Unfortunately I could hear that Jacob was pretty resolved about remaining true to Bella's final wish, especially since he saw how much pain I was suffering. It was far more pain than I would suffer if he granted me the death which I now seemed to crave. "Don't you dare say that Edward!" Alice yelled at me. "You have a family that needs you and loves you, and you are going to make it through this, we'll help you. But what do you think Bella would say if she knew that you tried to kill yourself?"_

_She had me there. If Jacob, the half human, half overgrown mutt could honor Bella's memory, one would hope that I at least had the decency to do the same. Right then I decided I couldn't follow through with my contingency plans which I had made last year. There was no way Bella would approve of me going to the Volturi and asking them to help me die. She had demanded that I avoid such plans last September, during our last day of happiness together, on her18th birthday. _


	2. Starting Over

Chapter 2 – EPOV

**A/N Hi, thanks for deciding to read the second chapter! Hope I didn't scare anybody off with the depressing first one. This one is still a little bit sad, but fear not! The good stuff is coming! I decided to let Edward wallow a little bit in his despair, but that's just who he is, he's lost the love of his life! (well after life)… **

**Oh and for the record, my name is not Stephanie Meyer (in case you were wondering-ha) so that means I own nothing but my computer which I've been typing on. I love her characters though, so I decided to have a little fun with them and see if anybody would actually read this story (unlikely).**

Alice and I left with hardly a goodbye to our unfriendly, half human company. I let her drive me to the airport and we took a flight back to Denali. My family had a home there at the time, not too far from Tanya and Kate's home. I locked myself in my room, and for a full year I spoke to nobody more than a few words. I only left my room to hunt. I didn't attend school.

We settled into our usual routine of moving every four or five years. We spent some time in Europe, and some more in the southern part of Chile where the clouds are almost as prevalent in the sky as in Forks. The first year was the hardest for me. I mastered the art of sitting in one place and not moving, not even thinking. My family left me alone, and I appreciated that more than they knew. At the year mark, however, they could tolerate my solitude no longer and I had to begin interacting once again.

Sixteen years ago, I finally began to feel a little peace. It was her birthday, and I was busy doing one my favorite things, sitting very still and trying not to think, when suddenly I felt a sensation slowly overtake my body. It wasn't the pain or desolation that I felt almost 24 hours a day before, it was new. It was almost as if the world didn't seem quite so pointless. I felt like maybe there might be a reason to live after all. Of course I had no idea what that reason was, but I began interacting with my family a lot more like I used to. I was nowhere near as happy as I was with Bella, and I wasn't even as content as I was before I met her, but I was better than I had been for the previous 37 years up to that point and I knew that was a step in the right direction.

I still spent a lot of my time sitting and trying to drain myself of conscious thought because it was so painful, but I was actually getting better at it. I didn't dwell on the past and what could've been my future as much as I used to. I wasn't a new man, per se, but I was at a new step in my recovery, and my family was proud of me. Esme was joyous beyond reason that I was beginning to show signs of progress. I had heard time and time again how much she worried that I would never rebound, and for a while I had been certain that she was right. I decided to start going to school again. Perhaps the monotony of school would help distract me from my painful past.

Alice was excited at this prospect. She insisted that I knew nothing of the current trends and flairs in fashion, so she decided that she would be in charge training me in the style and etiquette of the time period. I assured her I couldn't care less about the current style or etiquette, but I let her have her fun and pick out all sorts of clothing and "necessities" for school.

The monotony of high school was not nearly the distraction I had hoped it would be, so when we moved the next time, I decided to attend the University nearby and renew my medical degree. Carlisle took courses online now. He marveled at how easy it was for him to brush up on the newest and best medical techniques without leaving our home. I was happy for him.

Three years ago we moved here to Chicago. It became my hometown once again. Of course I hadn't been able to stop thinking about my airplane layover here and how excited I had been to see Bella on the last day of my life. I barely even considered the fact that we were living less than fifty miles from the place I grew up. I was attending high school again this go around. I decided I wanted to be with my siblings a little more during the day, instead of off on my own earning yet another medical degree or any other type of college certificate. If my siblings were going to be in high school this time, then so would I. Carlisle had found a more than grateful hospital to employ him so that he could continue to share his medical skills and talents. Esme was even acting as a nurse this time around. She had worked very hard to control her blood lust like Carlisle, but she decided to work in the children's cancer section, an area where she wouldn't have to deal with excessive amounts of blood.

It had been a particularly sunny last couple of days in the Chicago area and suburbs, so my family had excused themselves out of work and school and had gone on a four day long hunting trip at "Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore." My family and I had been to most of the parks and forests in the area, which were rather sparse considering we lived in a densely populated city. I had decided to stay home this time. My family didn't question me, they knew that every so often, I just needed some alone time, to sit and not think. I needed some time without all of their thoughts in my head so I could try and get rid of and sort through the thoughts that originated within my own.

They were coming back today and I was sure they would be in high spirits since their thirsts were temporarily eased. I heard Carlisle's new Mercedes driving up the dirt path to our surprisingly secluded home on the outskirts of a Chicago suburb called Glen Ellyn. I was able to hear their thoughts before I heard their voices.

Emmett was thrilled that he had actually come across a sleeping bear at the park. Rosalie was mildly amused remembering the epic battle which had taken place between the bear and Emmett. Carlisle was worried that Emmett had killed one of the last sleeping bears at the park and he was busy trying to figure out ways to reinvigorate the bear population at of Chicago. He was considering donating a very large check to any wildlife association which would be willing to help preserve the bears.

Esme was thinking about what might have taken place at the hospital while she was away. She knew a sixteen year old girl was supposed to be transferred there sometime this week to undergo a special chemotherapy treatment which might help her with her cancer. _The poor dear_ Esme thought, _she's been in hospital after hospital for the past two years, and nobody can figure out how to treat what she has. _Esme was unable to think about anything other than aiding children it seemed sometimes. She was such a mother, and everyone in the world was her children. _She should be a saint_, I thought wryly.

Jasper wasn't busy thinking anything profound, though he was no stranger to philosophical thoughts. He was mainly watching Alice who was clearly having a vision. The thoughts in Alice's mind were disturbing to say the least. Her vision was not a new one, but one that I had seen long ago, over fifty years ago. This was one vision that was never going to come true, so maybe it was just a memory of that vision that would never come true. It was her and Bella together as two vampires and they were talking like old friends. Seeing this again of course made my stone cold, silent heart ache. How inconvenient were Alice's thoughts and memories sometimes. I had just gotten done reliving that last day and here she had to remember such a hurtful vision at this very moment, as if to taunt me. I knew better than to think that Alice would ever taunt me with something so painful, but she had to cut this out or my head was going to explode.

"Alice, please!" I moaned. I knew she could hear me just as well as anyone else in the car from my third floor bedroom, and for once I was glad because I needed her to stop revisiting the visions she had of Bella, they were simply too excruciating to experience again, knowing that I would never see Bella again. Immediately the vision left Alice's mind and I could see through Jasper's eyes that Alice had a dazed and confused look on her face. It definitely appeared more like she had just been pulled out of a vision of the future rather than a memory of the past. _Sorry Edward_ she thought, _I don't know where that came from, it felt like a vision, and it was so much clearer than it ever was before. _

I cringed. Uncontrolled thoughts such as those would surely lead to my undoing. I walked downstairs to meet my family and talk to them about their hunt. I knew that they liked it when I engaged them in conversation without waiting for someone to speak to me first. It made them think I was more comfortable and doing a better job dealing with my situation and my loss than I really was. It was still a rare second that passed in the day that I didn't think about Bella at least once.

"The sky will be returning to its usual overcast tomorrow, so we'll be cleared to go to school on Monday," Alice remarked. I watched as a vision of us going to school under dreary skies played through her mind.

"Yes, I love this school!" cried Emmett, "The teachers are so easily intimidated, I hardly have to bat an eyelash to get an A in all my classes."

"Emmett," Carlisle began reproachfully, "Why do you feel the need to intimidate all your teachers? We need to try and ease the humans into thinking we're normal, not scare them for our own entertainment, that's a bit sadistic, don't you think?"

Rosalie scoffed, claws out and ready to defend her husband. "Carlisle, you can't expect Emmett to just sit around passing through these classes in a blur forever, eventually he gets bored and begins to try and find new ways to amuse himself."

Carlisle looked sternly at Rose. _Why has she been so temperamental lately?_ He thought as he stealthily glanced over in my direction meeting my eyes. I just smiled. I knew Rose didn't enjoy this city in the slightest. She was constantly thinking about our options for where we would move next and trying to come up with ways to surreptitiously cause us to move. Carlisle was vaguely aware of Rose's discomfort in our current home, but he really seemed to love his job here, especially since Esme was able to go to work with him and share his passion for helping people. Far be it from anyone in my family, even Rosalie to try and bring down his mood, so for that reason Rose had not outright demanded we move, she decided to be patient and let Carlisle have his fun.

_Is it because she wants to move again?_ Carlisle asked silently. I knew he was watching me out of the corner of his eye so I let my eyes turn up a bit then my whole head bowed. That was an affirmative. _I see,_ thought Carlisle with just the tiniest hint of disappointment. "Rosalie, why are you so unhappy with this place?" he asked, allowing his stern demeanor to relax back into his normal calm, logical one.

"What?" she exclaimed, unaware of the silent conversation that Carlisle and I had just shared, "How do you know about that?" She turned to stare pointedly at me. _Did you tell him Edward? Why?_

Before I could respond, Carlisle was speaking again, "I'd like to think I can recognize when my own daughter is unhappy," he smiled, "But as you well know, there are no secrets in this house, it's just not possible."

I shifted my shoulders uncomfortably in a very non-vampire way, Alice noticed. It was mostly my fault we had no secrets. I tried to give my family as much privacy as I could, but there was simply no way to block their thoughts from entering my head. _It's not just you, Edward. Don't blame yourself._ Alice's thoughts reached me and I smiled slightly to let her know she shouldn't worry about me. This mollified her. My smiles were so hard to come by.

"Our lives are nowhere near normal here, we hardly ever get to go outside Carlisle," Rose replied swiftly, speaking too fast for human ears. "I know you're happy here Carlisle, and I don't want to mess that up for you, but we have to miss school almost once a week because of the sun! Why did we have to move here anyway? It's not nearly as cloudy as some of the other places we've lived. I wish we could go back to Forks!" And there it was. Rose had mentioned that taboo subject and we had all frozen, shocked. Even Rosalie was astonished at her outburst. _Oh I'm so sorry Edward, I didn't mean it. You know how I get_.

Everyone was trying to comfort me, all at once. "Rosalie!" Carlisle admonished. _Why does she have to mention that now? He was doing so well. Edward, please don't listen to Rose, you know she's just ranting._

_Oh dear, Edward honey, try not to listen to Rosalie, _Esme.

_Damn, Edward you know not to take Rose seriously when she's angry right?_ Emmett

_Rosalie, what the Hell? _Alice.

_Anguish, that's the only word for what you're feeling right now. Edward, don't let her get to you, it's not your fault. _Jasper.

But he was wrong, they were all wrong. It was completely my fault. Everything was my fault. I was the one who made us leave Forks so quickly in the first place. I was the one who abandoned my one love, and let her die. And I was the one who was going to have to suffer for the rest of eternity with that guilt. They shouldn't try to make me feel better. I deserved this "anguish" as Jasper called it. This was my penance.

_Edward, come on man, don't do this to yourself. You know it's not your fault, if anything it's my fault. I was the one who couldn't control my thirst. I was the reason we had to leave!_

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't bear their pity and I certainly couldn't stomach Jasper trying to shoulder the blame for something that was completely my doing, my responsibility. I tried to let another smile form on my lips, for their sake, so they would think I was okay. But nothing came. "I'll be in my room if you need me," I said quietly. I turned and made my way up the stairs at a pace that was barely faster than a human. I decided to practice some more sitting and not thinking. The not thinking was always difficult when my family was home because their thoughts tended to intrude on my consciousness in a constant stream. In vain I tried to block the voices, but they were always there. I sighed. _I miss you, Bella._


	3. Sunrise and a Green Flash

**A/N Wow I can't believe somebody might actually be reading the third chapter. I don't care who you are or where you're from, but you're my hero!**

**Twilight doesn't belong to me, so excuse me while I go cry about it. In the meantime, enjoy the least sad addition to the story so far. **

Chapter 3 – EPOV

I sat in my room until sun light began to seep out from the eastern horizon. I changed clothes and grabbed my latest style notebook bag for school. My notebook computer was significantly larger than the ones most students used now a days. I enjoyed the throwback look, and Alice scoffed at me. She hated when I wore clothes or used technology that was behind the times.

Jasper was more than happy to oblige her in using only the latest tools and gadgets. He had become such a technology buff, I doubted Chase Hilton himself, heir to the Hilton hotel chain and most prominent technological genius in the world, could match Jasper's computer wit.

I walked downstairs to find Alice and Jasper locked in one of their silent discussions, starring into each other's eyes with matching expressions of worry. They both seemed apprehensive, but they were each doing their best to hide their thoughts from me, never a good sign. Alice was translating a fashion magazine she had read this morning to Japanese. Translating was always an indicator that Alice was hiding something big. Jasper was focusing the workings of the latest Notebook XTP. The laser technology in this one would allow for full color holograms of the keyboard, mouse, and items from web searches. I was impressed, that was technology which wouldn't be made known to the public for another decade or two.

"Jasper, Alice?" I questioned. They seemed surprised to see me. "What's wrong, what have I missed?"

Jasper's mind remained preoccupied with computer details as he answered, "Nothing Edward, we're simply waiting for everyone else to come downstairs before we go to school."

Alice, however, slipped and I got a tiniest glimpse of what she was worrying about. It was a picture of Bella, again. She was in a hospital room, one that seemed much more modern than the ones which were around when she was alive. I groaned. Her memories of my love tormented me.

Jasper looked quizzically at Alice. She sheepishly apologized, "I'm sorry Edward. I'm trying not to think about it." I heard the pain in her voice and I knew I couldn't be mad at her.

"It's okay Alice, I understand." I said quietly. I felt a wave of calm and tranquility pass over my body and I tried again to smile at Jasper in gratitude. He was already holding Alice's tiny hand. It seemed as though Alice was the one in need of his talent today.

I meandered outside in the general direction of the garage. I wanted to give them a little privacy. I heard Emmett and Rosalie from the second floor getting ready for school. Emmett was finishing the final level of a new video game and he was thinking about challenging Jasper after school. It was a military strategy game, so Emmett had decided his only chance at beating Jasper would be to memorize all the tricks to the game anyway.

I heard Rosalie's silent approval of her outfit and hair before she turned to make sure Emmett was dressed up to her standards. "Emmett, honey, please tell me you are not wearing that to school," she scolded.

"What?" he asked innocently. I couldn't find anything wrong with his outfit either. "I thought this was in the approved category?"

"Emmett, that was nearly eight years ago. How do you still even have this outfit? I thought Alice got rid of all your old fashioned clothes. Do you want people to think we are from a different time period?"

Emmett laughed wickedly. "What Alice doesn't know won't hurt her."

From the first floor I heard Alice answer him, "There isn't too much Alice doesn't know, Emmett," she chuckled, "Now go change and get rid of those clothes before Rose burns them with you still wearing them!"

I saw Emmett scowl through Rosalie's mind, "You know for someone so small, she's awfully annoying." And now it was my turn to laugh, how often I had said those exact words I couldn't count, but it was just funny hearing Emmett say them in current context. It felt good to laugh. I hadn't laughed in such a long time I was surprised I even remembered how. The sound of my laugh shocked them all. It wasn't the most joyous, light-hearted laugh in the world, but it was a rarity from me. Soon all four of them were laughing and I ran the rest of the way to the garage and started up my brand new Volvo. Carlisle's car was already gone, so I assumed he and Esme must have left already for their shift at the hospital.

I drove my car around to the front of the house and silently waited for the four of them to pile in. Emmett was dressed in a new outfit, one which apparently blended better with the current fashion. I honestly couldn't see the difference, but I caught his eye with a smirk as he grabbed the front passenger seat.

School was as boring as ever at Glen Ellyn Hills High School. Nobody questioned our long absences from school anymore, and nobody even tried to talk to me. For that much I was glad, contact with humans still reminded me of Bella occasionally. There wasn't much that didn't, but I preferred being aloof and not having to listen to their trite thoughts.

The institution of school hadn't really made any dramatic changes in the last fifty years. We now each had to bring a laptop everyday instead of books and notebooks. Texts were downloaded onto our hard drives and lectures appeared on our screens from our teacher everyday. Sometimes we watched lectures from more qualified instructors or professors on our laptops in class instead of listening to clueless educators drone on about a subject they knew nothing about. I applauded the school's efforts to give students the best chance at learning something possible, but it was still incredibly boring to me because there was a one in a million chance that I would learn something new, something I had never heard before.

By the end of the school day, my slightly better than horrible mood had not lifted and I was not quite as incorrigible toward my siblings as I had been in the not so distant past. Because they are such supportive, caring siblings, they were delighted, and I was grateful to have them. "Let's go visit Carlisle and Esme today," I suggested, "We haven't done that in a while, I'm sure they'll be thrilled."

I was met with a chorus of agreement in all of my siblings' thoughts and words.

"That's a great idea!" trilled Alice, the ever excited pixie vampire, _I'd love to see Esme working with the children, I bet she's so happy._

_I don't see any harm that can come from visiting them._ "Why not," said Rosalie, with almost a hint of enthusiasm.

_Wow, your emotions are nearly tolerable today Edward, what's gotten in to you?_ "Best idea you've had in ages there Edward," said Jasper with a grin, _Alice will enjoy seeing Esme with the children from the cancer ward._

_Yes! A chance to embarrass Carlisle and Esme in their place of employment! _"Yes a chance to embarrass Carlisle and Esme in their place of employment!" exclaimed Emmett happily. _I'll have to wait until later to challenge Jasper with that game, but it's worth it._ "Jasper I'm taking you down in a game of _World Domination 3_ when we get back to the house, just so it's known."

Jasper and I rolled our eyes in sync. As a Confederate army veteran, Jasper was a brilliant military strategist. To combine military strategy with technology in a way that can only be accomplished with a video game would be Jasper's specialty to an extreme. Emmett clearly had no idea what he was getting himself into.

I pulled into the hospital visitors section and parked in a spot near the back entrance to the building which housed Carlisle's office. I logged my information into the parking lot voice activated tracking system. We made our way to Carlisle's office, but were disappointed to find it empty. "Hey are you guys here to see Dr. Cullen?" called one of the nurses from across the hall. _My, oh my, what do we have here? These must me his adopted children. So the whole family is made up of supermodels, figures I guess. _

"Yes, ma'am," I said politely, "Maybe you can help us? Do you know where he is right now?"

_Well, honey, I would be glad to _help_ you with anything you could possibly need, for instance a back rub, or a date, or a—Maureen, get a hold of yourself girl, he's still in high school for crying out loud._ The cliché thoughts she had didn't even faze me. This Maureen was almost thirty years old and I was old enough to be her ancient ancestor, I wondered what she would think about that age difference. "Dr. Cullen is actually in surgery at the moment, you're welcome to wait here until he comes back though if you'd like. There's a nurse's lounge right down the hall with coffee and a vending machine," _and I would be glad to keep a close eye on you,_ she thought wryly.

"That's alright Ms. Lancaster," I read her nametag smoothly, "We'll just go visit our mother, she's a nurse in the cancer ward. Would you mind telling Dr. Cullen we stopped by if you run into him?"

"Sure, not a problem," she said sweetly _anything to get a chance to talk with the gorgeous Dr. Cullen_, "See you later!" _hopefully, hopefully, hopefully_ she chanted to herself as we walked away. Rosalie looked utterly bored with the encounter. Female nurses were completely useless to her; the male ones however she found could be a little more entertaining. They were very useful in annoying Emmett, an ever intriguing endeavor. She always allowed them to flatter her and make them think they stood a chance while Emmett had to control his fury and not break the human into tiny pieces.

The nurse in the cancer ward informed us that Esme was on the floor below us just talking with a few of the patients. Of course she was, that was so typical Esme. I smiled to myself thinking about my loving mother. We made our way to the second floor and I heard the tenor of children's thoughts begin to fill my mind. Many of them were nervous about all the equipment surrounding their beds, and most of them were thinking about their parents if not talking with them. Esme was nowhere to be seen, but I picked up a few of her thoughts coming from the end of the hall. She was reading to a small boy while his parents were out of the hospital today. He knew they would be back in a few hours, but he was scared that the doctor might make him go through the loud machine without them there. _The poor, poor dear, _thought Esme kindly. Without warning, her thoughts turned to a scene eerily familiar to the one I saw in Alice's mind this morning, of Bella in a hospital room. I inhaled sharply and started walking toward the room where Esme sat reading to the small boy.

"She's down almost to the end of the hall, reading," I said remotely. Why did everyone in my family have to think about and imagine such painful things? The smell of blood and humans was a constant presence in a hospital; it hardly bothered me as I led my family toward Esme's room.

"Reading?" asked Rosalie finally, "Why?"_ Shouldn't she be taking care of the children or bringing them dinner?_

"Rose, it's not even four o'clock. It's much too early for humans to eat dinner," I responded, still lost in other thoughts, "Esme's reading to a little boy who's lonely because his parents are not here right now."

"Oh," she said thoughtfully, _That's sweet. So Esme. _And then she was sad. _Esme would've been a great mother. I wonder if I would've been as good a mother as Esme. I guess I'll never know._

"Rose?" asked Jasper, picking up on her sadness. "You okay?"

"Rosie, what is it?" asked Emmett, concern filling him completely. He loved Rosalie more than anything in the universe and sometimes it was really sweet to see how he cared.

"It's nothing, I was just thinking about the children and," she paused as if deciding whether to admit this last part, "Their mothers." Her face fell a little, and Emmett had stopped and wrapped her in a bear hug.

"Aw Rosie, I'm so sorry." Emmett was well aware of Rosalie's desire to be a mother, and his heart broke because he knew he could never give her that gift.

"Emmett, stop. It's fine," she said firmly. I felt sad for Rosalie for once, rather than just sad for myself and my own situation. I had been so selfish these past fifty three years. My family needed me, and all I did was ignore them. I gave Rose a tentative smile which she returned and we began to continue our journey to the end of the hall at a maddeningly slow human pace. A young girl, probably about eleven or twelve peeked out one of the rooms close to the end. She looked at us conspiratorially.

"Have you seen Nurse Esme or Dr. Minor out here?" she asked. _I gotta get back to my room on the fourth floor before anybody finds out I'm gone,_ she thought.

I smiled warmly at her, and her heart faltered. _Wow he's so beautiful, and his bronze hair and golden eyes look like the boy Rachel described in her dream_. Now that thought was rather interesting. I had heard a lot of thoughts and first impressions of me. Every word from "aloof" to "runway model" had been used to describe me on first sight, but never before had I been described as the subject of somebody's dream. I was dumbfounded and I couldn't remember that I was supposed to be answering a question. Luckily Alice responded quickly enough so that the girl didn't notice my pause.

"Nope, coast is clear!" she said with her birdlike voice.

"Cool, thanks!" said the little girl. She opened the door wider to run out toward the staircase, but as the air from the room flooded my face, I smelt the sweetest blood I had ever sensed in my entire life, again. There was almost a floral tinge to it, and strawberries. I froze and waited for the door to swing shut. I felt the shock of my family members as well, so they must have smelled it too. They were speechless, even in their own minds.

I tried to listen for thoughts coming out of the room the little girl had just left, but I heard nothing but silence. The name on the door read "Rachel Meyer". Rachel was the name of the girl who had dreams about somebody who looked like me. What if this Rachel girl was somehow connected to Bella? A distant relative maybe, but that didn't make any sense why would she have dreams about somebody who looked like me. My mind was whirling and before I could stop myself I had opened the door to Rachel's room and stepped inside. My family remained standing completely still just outside the door. None of them tried to stop me. Alice was revisiting the two memories which had caused me so much pain before, but I didn't care.

I stepped into the room and let the door close behind me. What I saw almost sent an electric shot through my heart. It was a teenage girl, perhaps sixteen or seventeen with long brown hair and a heart shaped face. Her eyes were closed but her breathing was not steady enough for her to be asleep. As if the heavens were answering my prayer to hear her voice, she spoke. "Christy, I told you already. You have to go back to your room, I have some testing tonight and I'm going to have to get some sleep. We can hang out more tomorrow when I'm done. Besides your mom is going to be looking for you if she gets back before you."

She didn't even open her eyes once during her whole little speech. My heart felt like it had started beating again. Now all that was left were the eyes, I had to see them to know for sure, so I spoke, the only thing that made sense in the world, "Bella?"

That worked, her eyes shot open almost faster than a vampire's. And there they were. Those warm chocolate eyes, deeper than any brown eyes in the world. I probably would have passed out if it was possible, but what was happening now was even less possible than a vampire losing consciousness. Bella was here, she was alive! But why was she in a Chicago hospital? She looked confused to say the least and her confusion turned to recognition, which faded back to confusion once again. "What did you call me?" she asked softly.

I chuckled, Bella was nothing if not curious, and she always had an infinite number of questions. "Your name," I answered automatically, "Bella, Isabella Marie Swan." I searched in vain for her thoughts. I could hear nothing and the prospect was somewhat exciting to me, reaffirming the fact that this was Bella sitting in front of me.

"Oh," she looked disappointed, "I think you have me confused with somebody else, my name is Rachel, Rachel Meyer."

Now it was my turn to be confused. How could this not be Bella? It looked just like her, it smelled just like her, it sounded just like her, especially since I couldn't hear her mind, and I had to assume the girl in front of me would feel just like her as well. I decided against testing that last one, I didn't want to scare the poor girl.

"Oh," I repeated, trying to hide my own disappointment, "Maybe you're right, it's been a long time since I last saw Bella, I could have sworn it was you." I turned to leave, the turmoil I was feeling right now threatened to overtake my entire being. Could this be Bella? She said she wasn't, but physically she is. How can this be happening?

"Wait," she called, a little desperately. I spun around as slowly as I could stand so I wouldn't frighten her further, and looked into her eyes once again, like a blind man receiving a one day opportunity to see the world. She held my gaze, and I saw the questions in her eyes, but I also saw recognition. She knew me, I was sure of it.

"Do you know who I am?" I asked, before I could stop myself.

She considered for a moment then finally replied, "No, I have no idea," my dead heart fell a little, and I turned for the door again, "But I dream about you almost every night!" she continued, "And I don't know why, but I'm pretty sure that if you left me right now, and I never saw you again, my heart would be broken."

With those words, my world was turned upside down yet again. I didn't know whether this was Bella or not, but I knew one thing for sure. There was no way I was going to take the chance at breaking Bella's heart, again.

"I'll never leave you again," I said softly, and she smiled. It was one of the happiest smiles I had ever seen, and I wore one to match. At that moment, Esme burst through the door to the room with a tortured expression on her face. "Rachel, honey, try to get some sleep, your tests begin in a few hours. I'll show your visitor out." _Oh Edward, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for you to find out this way. She just got here yesterday from some hospital in downtown Chicago. I don't know what to say!_

"Thanks Esme," said Rachel, or Bella, or whoever she was, "I'll try to get some sleep," now she turned to me, the recognition on her face the dominant feature "Don't forget about me, Edward" she stated so calmly, adding the name I hadn't yet disclosed to her, as if this were an everyday occurrence.

"I couldn't if I tried, Bella," I said her name too quietly for human ears, and Esme was flabbergasted.

"Come on Edward, let me show you out," _Edward I think we need to talk_.

I followed her out with the most blissful smile on my face I had worn in over fifty years. If I died right then, the most physically painful death known to mankind, I would still be one of the happiest creatures, man or monster in the world. My love was alive, sort of, and she remembered my name!


	4. Fate's Games

Chapter 4 – EPOV

**A/N Hello everybody, or just anybody who was brave enough to continue reading this story. Give yourself a pat on the back or a chocolate or something, but pretend it's from me. **

**Stephanie Meyer is lucky that she has amazing dreams which she can turn into amazing stories. I am lucky to have read those stories. And you, dear reader(s), are not so lucky that I decided to twist her story around. Still, I own nothing.**

I heard my family's thoughts as we drove home from the hospital. There was a mixture of confusion and excitement. They had all smelled Bella's scent outside her hospital room, and then they had seen the look of pure joy that I wore when I walked back out into the hall. I retold the story of what happened in Rachel's room, though they had heard the whole thing for themselves from right outside the door.

Alice was ecstatic and couldn't wait to see Bella again. Her visions were starting to make sense. It was like the first time we met Bella all over again, it only bothered me a little bit that Alice still saw Bella as a vampire.

Jasper was trying to be logical. He didn't understand how Bella could be back, and that was suspicious. As vampires we had learned not to question the supernatural, but seeing Bella again was a miracle that none of us could fathom. The word Jasper kept thinking was "reincarnation". He thought Rachel was some sort of reincarnation of Bella.

Rosalie had resolved to be happy for me since my mood was so uplifted. Emmett couldn't wait to see if the new Bella was as clumsy as the old one. I resented that, but didn't dwell on it because I could tell he missed Bella almost as much as Alice.

Esme had been worried. I would've thought she would be delighted that I had found Bella again, but she was concerned that I would get built up in all my happiness and then have to fall down all over again. I didn't understand. Why did she think I would fall down into a mood of despair? I wondered if Carlisle would agree with Esme when he found out.

My brothers and sisters and I got home shortly before Carlisle and Esme. I liked to drive the fastest as well as run the fastest. I backed into my space in the garage and followed at human pace as my brothers and sisters ran to the house. I looked at our three story home for the first time in the three years we've been here. It really was beautiful I noticed.

The sky was beginning to clear before sunset and the sparkle of my skin reflected back in my eyes from the huge glass windows which covered the walls of our home. It was so old fashioned and I realized it was quite a masterpiece. Esme had spared no resource in making this one of the loveliest homes we had ever had. I began to compare it to the house we had in Forks, it was quite different. This home was light yellow with a dark colored roof which rose at steep angles in different sections of the house. There was a balcony which wrapped around the first floor. It had white pillars which connected the floor and the roof. The partial octagon cutouts in the house were charming, and they made divine nooks for Jasper's library and Carlisle's office. I stared at the whicker porch swing out front and imagined Bella and I rocking in the swing together watching the sunset, enjoying a summer evening breeze.

I hoped that one day I could make that possible. If fate was giving me a second chance with Bella, I would take it. I had cursed fate for far too long to think that I deserved one, but I wasn't going to question Fate if she placed Bella into my life once again.

Soon I heard Carlisle and Esme driving down the dirt road to our house. Carlisle's thoughts were loud in my head: W_hat can this mean? Could it really be Bella? How is this possible?_ So Esme had already filled him in on the situation.

Esme was also lost in thought as they parked in the spot next to mine in the garage. I was about to walk inside when I heard her beseech me, "Edward," she said out loud for Carlisle's sake as soon as she got out of his Mercedes, "We need to talk to you, why don't you wait outside and we can take a walk."

This I knew was code for "Let's talk somewhere where your brothers and sisters won't hear us." I smiled and agreed to accompany her and Carlisle on a "walk". Carlisle immediately took notice of my new mood. _Oh my dear sweet Lord, it's like he's Edward again. Just look at him smile. I don't care who this girl is or where she came from, but if she's Edward's Bella to him again, then I couldn't be happier for him. The poor kid deserves happiness. _

I smiled as I listened to his thoughts, they were comforting, but they were also surprising. These were the thoughts I would have expected from Esme, not from Carlisle. In fact these were exactly like the thoughts which had filled Esme's head over fifty years ago when we lived in Forks. But now Esme was worried, a bit more like Carlisle had been. There had to be something Esme wasn't telling me, I couldn't understand why she was so worried.

"Edward," she began cautiously, "You don't know for sure that this is Bella. Please son, be realistic. Bella died, and only recently have you begun to recover from that. You can't chance all of that improvement and let yourself fall in love all over again with somebody new, especially a human, they're just so fragile."

Carlisle looked shocked. Apparently he had not been expecting this reaction from his wife. _What has gotten into Esme? I would have thought she would be thrilled that Edward found his Bella again. _He looked at me, and I just shrugged. "Esme," he peered at her questioningly, "Don't you think Edward deserves a second chance at the love he had, the only real happiness he ever knew?"

"Well of course I want him to have a second chance, more than he could possibly know. I want him to be happy, or at least not miserable. All I'm saying is that we need to be careful, and more importantly _he_ needs to be careful, before he allows himself to fall in love again. I just don't want him to get hurt again. Besides we don't even know if this is even the same girl? How do we know this is really Bella?"

There was something else, I could tell. Esme was focusing really hard on what she was saying, on the points she had to make. Carlisle was still curious, "Esme, you said yourself that she looked just like her, sounded just like her, even smelled exactly the same, how could it not be her?" _What's wrong here? Esme should be encouraging something to help Edward get back on his feet, to regain his happiness. What's going on? _Again he looked at me quizzically, but this time I answered.

"Esme," I breathed, "She remembered me."

Carlisle and Esme both became statues. "How do you know?" asked Carlisle.

"She called me Edward," I said simply, "I never told her my name."

Carlisle was smiling already. _It's a miracle. Edward will have his second chance. Bella will finally become a part of our family and we'll be whole once more. _

I enjoyed Carlisle's train of thought at my revelation and even Esme was smiling a little as she remembered the fleck of recognition that passed in Rachel's eye when they first met, earlier that day. Esme had loved Bella too, so of course she wanted to believe that this girl was some sort of reincarnation of Bella. So why had she been so hesitant? There had to be a reason.

"Esme, why didn't you tell me she recognized you too?" I asked.

Sheepishly she replied, "I couldn't know for sure. I could have sworn it was Bella when I first saw her so I thought maybe I had imagined that look Bella gave me." _But when I found out about, the—_she stopped her train of thought and glanced up at me as if just remembering that I could hear everything that passed through her head.

"Esme, what is it? What are you not telling me?" I implored.

Carlisle glanced at his wife, and realization began to take root in his consciousness. _Esme met Bella's reincarnation, Rachel in the cancer ward. Rachel came from a hospital in downtown Chicago, Chicago is known for it's huge leaps and technological advances in the war against cancer. If Esme is being so hesitant, that must mean that Bella, or Rachel is—_and then he looked up at me, nearly derailing his own train of thought. "Esme," he said, pain threatening to show in his voice, "What's wrong with Rachel?"

"I don't exactly know," she began, with her voice shaking slightly, "It's a rare type of brain cancer. All I know is that it's killing her, and quickly. Dr. Minor doesn't think she'll make it to her seventeenth birthday."

My whole world came crashing down on me once again. How many times can a dead heart be ripped in half and glued back together? I was sure to be the one to find out. The pain that seized me again was unbearable, and for the millionth time, I longed for sleep. I longed to wake up back in Forks, fifty three and a half years ago, before her birthday when I realized we had to leave, before I left her.

I had thought fate was giving me a second chance with Bella when I walked into that hospital room and heard the love of my life call my name, begging me not to forget her. But now I realized the truth. Fate was cruel and unbelievably sadistic. Fate waited until I was finally beginning to recover from the greatest loss of all time, and then she dangled a reminder in my face, only to whip it away from me moments after I had latched onto it. Yes fate was ruthless and merciless. I must have done something to upset her, because now she was exacting her revenge on me and there was nothing I could do to fight her because she was a thousand times faster, stronger, and more powerful than a vampire.

Carlisle and Esme both looked heartbroken as they watched me face the weight of this world. There was nothing they could do to help and they knew it. Carlisle was the one to ask the question I couldn't bear to ask myself, "Esme, when's her birthday?"

Esme looked like she wanted to smile at this question but thought better of it, "September the 13th."

I could have laughed myself. That was Bella's birthday. "Well I have a little over six months to spend as much time with her as I can then," I said stubbornly.

They both simply stared at me, shocked. _I should have known that would not be any kind of deterrent for Edward. He's going to have to keep going to school though if he doesn't want to raise any suspicion, so that we can stay here with Bella. _Carlisle always considered the logical side of any situation, so of course he would suggest I keep up appearances when all I want to do is be with the girl I loved, one more time.

"Alright, I'll keep going to school!" I nearly yelled, "Anything else, or may I please be excused. I have some business to attend to."

_Just know we love you honey,_ thought Esme,_ No matter what happens, we love you and want you to be happy_. She tried to smile, but I knew it was forced.

"Thank you, I love you both very much as well and I wouldn't dream of doing anything to destroy this family," I said calmly to ease their nerves about the torturous six months we were about to endure, "But I have to do this. I've begged for a second chance for more than fifty years. Now it's here and I don't want to waste it, even if it is limited."

"I understand," said Carlisle. _And your siblings will too_.

I felt oddly like Cinderella as I sprinted back to my car. I wasn't hoping for a happy ending, just a short time to spend with the Princess before I returned to my sad life. I heard Carlisle and Esme walk in the front doors of the house, and before I sped down the driveway I heard Jasper wondering why Esme and Carlisle were suddenly so depressed. I couldn't bring myself to care all that much as I left the grounds of our estate.


	5. Late Night Reunion

**A/N Hello again anybody and everybody who might have decided to continue reading to the FIFTH chapter. I am so proud of you, and glad that you decided to read this, so I'm going to keep trying to update this quickly. **

**Just a reminder, in case you forgot, my name is not Stephanie Meyer. That means I do not own any of the interesting characters. I'm obviously not gaining anything by writing and publishing this story. Oh well.**

Chapter 5 – EPOV

I drove at record pace to the outskirts of the suburb where the large nature preserve which Carlisle owned was located. Carlisle had made this land acquisition a few years before we moved here under the name of one of the trusts we had set up long ago, The Pacific Northwestern Trust. It was full of wildlife, such as bears and deer, quite a rarity for a suburb, and part of the reason we moved here. I needed to hunt if I was going to be in close proximity to Bella and her unbelievably potent blood which seemed to be designed to tempt me more than anybody else. I caught several deer and filled myself completely, to the point of feeling a bit sloshy in my stomach.

Next I stopped by the bookstore on my way to the hospital. I headed straight to the back where I would find some literature classics, specifically, new copies of the books which Bella used to have stashed around her room. I was relieved to see the bookstores these days still carried a few Jane Austen books, I grabbed the three that they had: _Mansfield Park_, _Pride and Prejudice_, _Sense and Sensibility_. Next I searched for a copy of _Wuthering Heights_, a book I knew Bella cherished because it had been so dog eared and well used lying on the floor near her bed back in Forks. I wondered if she had read any of the Charles Dickens books which stopped making their way on to school reading lists two decades ago. I decided to grab _Great Expectations_ and _Oliver Twist_ just in case. _The Count of Monte Cristo_ was always one of my favorite novels, so I grabbed that one as well. I picked up a copy of _Shakespeare's Sonnets_ for good measure then on my way out of the "Ancient Classics" section I passed a novel that was just becoming popular when I was a human, and I had to chuckle: _Dracula._

With my nine new purchases I drove double the speed limit to the hospital. Since it was no longer visiting hours I decided to park down the street at a local supermarket and run back to the hospital. I returned to the floor where Esme worked and silently walked down the hall to the room that read "Rachel Meyer" though I knew it really belonged to my Bella. The door was locked and I heard no breathing inside so I assumed Bella must be somewhere in the hospital undergoing the tests she had mentioned earlier today. I heard a nurse walking down the hall, and I listened to her thoughts as she read from her clipboard laptop. _Jay Barrera room 206: new bed sheets, Ryan Hardee room 209: extra cot for father, Stacey Fields room 214: IV check, Rachel Meyer room 215: Fluids rotation_.

It would have been too easy to sneak past the nurse and hide around the corner until Bella was back in her room, but now that I knew this nurse had a key to the room, I formed a new plan, one that involved lying and stealing, but at least not breaking and entering. I hid until I heard the nurse getting ready to leave Bella's room, then I casually strolled past the door, with my nine books in tow. At last the nurse saw me, "Hey there, what are you doing here? Visiting hours are over."

I spun around at a carefully quick human pace and plastered a look of confusion on my face. "I'm sorry?" I said innocently, "Visiting hours?"

"Well--," _Well sweet Jesus, where did you come from? A Magazine cover?_ "Yes, visiting hours, er--, they've ended, so you're not supposed to be up here unless you are a parent or, uh, guardian," _I'd be glad to escort you out of the building, just ask real nicely, please? Heck I'll escort you anywhere you want! Like to the closet over there, or to the nurse's lounge, or to the empty room behind me, or the one down the hall._

This nurse's dirty thoughts were mildly annoying, but I knew they would aid me in my quest to kidnap her keycard. "Oh I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding," I began sweetly, "My mother, Esme Cullen is a nurse on this floor, and she left these books behind in the nursing lounge. She asked me to pick them up for her," I lied so smoothly I nearly believed myself.

"Oh right, Esme, she's such a nice woman," _and here I was thinking about seducing her son, I really need to get a grip_, "Well tell her I say hello then," _and ask her if she ever needs a babysitter or something_.

"Of course I will, Miss.--,"

"Alyssa, just call me Alyssa sweetie, and you must be?" _Far too cute to be legal?_

"Edward, Edward Cullen." I carefully balanced my books in my left hand and reached out my other as if I wanted to shake hands. When she realized what I wanted, she whipped her own arm out from behind her back and knocked my nine books to the floor. Just as I had planned.

"Oh I'm so sorry honey, let me get those for you!" _klutz, klutz, klutz, klutz_. She bent to pick them up and I mirrored her action so that we were both kneeling picking up the books. I reached around her to pick up a book and whipped the key card off the clip on the back of her scrubs. _Oh my, he smells good. Maybe if I lean in a little bit closer I can just…_

I pulled away quickly before Alyssa got too many other ideas which would probably end her life. I took my books from her and smiled, "Thanks Alyssa, I'll tell Esme you said hello." She was dazed, dazzled as Bella used to call it. Her thoughts were an incoherent string of "too young" coupled with "probably illegal". I waited for her to walk toward the elevator before I slipped into Bella's room using my newly acquired key card.

I entered the room silently and let the scent in the room envelop me. The burn in my throat was painful but it thrilled me because I knew it meant Bella was alive and had been here recently. I let myself become accustomed to the burn and the smell like I used to back in Forks and I took a look around the room.

It was dark to human eyes, but I could see the room clear as day. It was clean and sanitary. Clearly nothing that Bella would enjoy. The monitors for heart rate, blood pressure, and internal body temperature were next to the bed on one side with a small nightstand on the other. There was a fold away tray table standing at the foot of the bed with a stack of neutral colored blankets. The thick curtains covering the full length window were impersonal and mundane.

The room was small and unfriendly. I knew some of the children had pasted posters, plants, or other mementoes of their homes around the small rooms. This room was completely bare and I was glad that I could hang around and help make her stay at this hospital at least slightly more enjoyable. I turned on the charts at the end of her bed. Carlisle had said the touch screen computers they used were heat responsive so it probably wouldn't register me touching the screen since my body had no heat. I improvised and grabbed one of the blankets off the table and rubbed two of the edges together to create a little friction. Covering my hand with the friction warmed blanket, I was able to tap into Bella, or Rachel Meyer's charts. I confirmed what Esme told me earlier. Bella was going to die, again.

I let the news sink in and felt the sadness engulf me once again. I held the expensive clipboard to my chest, nearly breaking it and tried once again to sleep, to escape consciousness. After a few minutes of drowning in my own personal pool of despair, I reaffirmed the snap decision I had made earlier today when Esme first revealed the severity of Bella's illness. I would not to dwell on what couldn't be changed and I would not think about the horrors the next few months would bring. Bella didn't have time for that.

Next I searched through the beginning of her file. Under parents or guardians I read the name Augusta Christianson. I remembered that name from the list of hospital staff, she was a social worker. That had to mean that Bella, or Rachel, was a ward of the state. But what had happened to her parents? I barely had time to wonder as I heard the thoughts of another nurse and Augusta walking down the hall toward the room. They were pushing a gurney so I assumed they must be bringing Bella back from her examinations.

I quickly hid behind the heavy curtains covering the window of the room and waited for the three person party to enter and drop off the love of my life. I listened to the whispered conversation the nurse and Augusta were having. It looked like Bella was pretending to sleep. Her eyes were closed, but her breathing wasn't steady enough.

"So it's not spreading at all?" asked Augusta, quietly.

"Correct, it's completely confined to her brain. It's quite an anomaly I must confess," said the nurse, _I don't understand this illness at all. Even Dr. Minor said he'd never seen anything like it._

"But that's a good thing right?" _the rest of her won't be infected with the cancer. That's wonderful news._

"Yes and not really. It's true the rest of her body will go on functioning like normal until her brain completely shuts down and stops sending messages to her body. But at that point, she won't even know how to breathe, we could try using artificial respiration for a while until her body eventually rejects it, but we don't know how long that will be, it could be hours or days. She'll be in an irreversible vegetative state no matter what. I'm afraid the fact that the rest of her body is still perfectly fine will not be enough to save her. There's nothing we can do."

"I see," replied Augusta sadly. _If her heart still works though, there's no reason we can't do the heart transplant. This could be the answer! I already know Rachel wouldn't mind at all._

They left the room and I was left a little confused. What was this Augusta woman planning? She wanted to do some sort of heart transplant, but that wouldn't help Bella at all since her heart was fine according to the nurse. So what would a transplant of a perfectly good heart do? Augusta wasn't making any sense, how could she save Bella by giving her a heart transplant?

"Edward?" called my Angel, interrupting my thoughts. I assumed maybe she was asleep after all and was having one of those dream memories she mentioned earlier. She always did talk in her sleep, and it wouldn't be the first time she said my name.

"Edward, I know you're in here. Don't make me think I'm going crazy please. I just want to talk to you!" I looked over as she sat up in her bed trying to look around the room for me. Well I guess she was awake.

"How'd you know I was here?" I asked as I crept out from my hiding place and sat at the edge of her bed. The smile that enchanted her face in the dark room was exultant, and she reached over and turned on the light which was attached to the wall near her bed.

"Well, I could sort of sense you," she admitted sheepishly, and Lord help me, that deliciously beautiful blush filled her cheeks. The burn in the back of my throat was back in full force, but I reveled in it. I basked in the burn knowing that it meant my Bella was alive and here with me. "So I guess you heard the nurse and Mrs. Christianson chatting a few minutes ago," she asked glumly.

My heart ached and all I could do was nod my head. I wanted to reach out and touch her, but I knew the cold of my hands would probably scare her.

"I'm sorry Edward, I wish you didn't have to know about that."

I would have recognized that lacking sense of self preservation anywhere. Of course she didn't care that she was dying. It only bothered her that I knew about it, that I would have to face some pain because she was dying. Where did this bravery come from? "You've always been so brave Bella, er Rachel," I said softly, praying that she would remember something from her previous life.

She smiled now, "I don't mind if you want to call me Bella," she said, "It's what my mom used to call me when I was little. I figured that was why you called me that in my dreams." She blushed again and looked down, letting her hair cover her face just like it used to when we first met.

I couldn't resist any longer. I reached over and with two fingers lifted her chin up so she was looking me in the eye. Her heart rate quickened and her eyes were wide with some emotion akin to shock, so I quickly removed my hand and placed it back in my lap with my fingers still tingling after the return of the electric feeling I got from touching her. "Sorry I know it's cold. I've just been without your face for so long; I couldn't bear to have you hide it from me."

"No it's not the cold," she touched her chin where my fingers had been and looked at her hand, "You didn't feel it too?" she asked.

"Feel what?" I wondered softly.

"The electricity," she said just as quietly, "Maybe it's just all those machines I was hooked up to a little while ago. I don't know, maybe it's--,"

I placed one finger over her soft lips to quiet her and enjoyed the tingling sensation once again as I listened to her heart beat speed then return to normal, "Of course I feel it, Bella, I just didn't know you could too," I chuckled.

"So who are you exactly?" she finally asked, "Why do I feel like I've known you my entire life, maybe even longer?"

"Well as you know, my name is Edward. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," I introduced myself. "I'll tell you what I know, but only if you tell me about your dreams first," I bargained.

I was not disappointed to see her chin jut out a little in her classic "I'm going to be stubborn face" and I struggled to hold back a gleeful laugh. "And what if I don't agree? I think my dreams are private and they shouldn't be shared, even with random beautiful strangers."

I let my face curve into a crooked smile that I hadn't worn in over half a century. She smiled back in reaction and I saw right then that she would cave. She was far too curious to let me walk away. "Oh come now Bella, I know for a fact that you shared them with a young girl named Christy. And I don't believe that I should be considered such a random stranger if I was actually a subject of the dreams in question."

She chewed on her lip for a moment in contemplation. The smile refused to leave my face, I was so happy to have my Bella back and I just wanted to live in this moment for eternity. She was taking a while to answer. I felt my patience grow thin as I remembered my frustration that I couldn't read her mind. "Bella, what are you thinking?" I pleaded.

"Just trying to decide which one to tell you first," she said pensively, "Can I ask you a question first?"

"Be my guest," I agreed.

"Is nurse Esme your mother?"

"Yes she is, well my adopted mother. Why do you ask, do you remember her?"

"Just vaguely," she replied, "From my dreams of course. And Edward?"

"Yes Bella," I replied with a grin. I just couldn't get enough of saying her name, and hearing her say mine was heavenly.

"Do you know Alice?"


	6. Midnight Memories

**A/N** **Greetings to anybody who might be reading this. You've made it to the sixth chapter! I'm impressed, and honored. **

**Disclaimer: Guess what? I do not own "Twilight" so all these lovely characters do not belong to me. So thank Stephanie for her creativity. I don't mean any harm by publishing this story on this site**

**Hope you enjoy memories, cuz you're about to get a blast from Bella's—er I mean Rachel's past. Hope you like it (or don't mind too much…. I don't know about you, but I can't wait for the action!)**

Chapter 6 – EPOV

Of course Bella would be able to shock me with her questions yet again. She was so unlike anybody else in the world. Not only was I intrigued by her question, but I was blindingly happy that she remembered even more of my family, of her life.

The enormous grin on my face probably gave me away, but I decided to play with her anyway, "I'm not sure, _Bella_. What's her last name?"

At this she looked confused. She seemed to ponder for a moment, biting her lip again in concentration. "Cullen?" she asked uncertainly, repeating the surname I had given her when I formally introduced myself.

My smile grew larger still and I nodded my head, "My sister."

She smiled in response, but the smile faltered slowly and a sad look invaded her face. "I think I must be dreaming again," she confessed, "This isn't really possible, I just have an extremely overactive imagination, and here I've let it take over."

"Bella you're not that creative," I teased, "But you can never know for sure, this might just be a dream," I added broodingly, "Although speaking of dreams, I believe you were about to disclose some of yours?"

"But how do I know you're not a dream right now?" she argued.

"I suppose you don't," I replied. She scowled a little and bit her lip. It was adorable. "Why don't you tell me about the dreams you've already had."

"Alright," she reluctantly agreed. "I started having these dreams a few years ago, right after my mother died. At the time it was every once in a while, now I have them much more often and for the past few weeks I've been having them nearly every night."

She paused to see how I would interpret that information. "You're mother died?" I affirmed, "And what about your father?" I knew she was a ward of the state from reading her file, but it was still disheartening hearing her reaffirm the fact that she was an orphan.

"I never knew my father," she said neutrally, "Stephanie always said that he was the most fortunate mistake she ever made, since that's how she got me." Her tone became reverent when she spoke of her mother, but there was also a small smile in her voice which mirrored the one on her face. I recognized that smile instantly. It was proud, doting, defensive, and it told me that Bella, or Rachel I supposed, was the caretaker once again in her relationship with her mother.

"Tell me about your mother," I ordered.

The smile returned, "Well we looked nothing alike really. She was beautiful and had a great sense of humor. She was a klutz, much like myself. She could be a bit crazy and very forgetful at times because she was so passionate about life and about her stories. She was a writer, and she wrote the most beautiful fictions. I used to make her read them to me when I was little until I was old enough to read myself, and she never seemed to mind. She loved reading anything and everything, and I think she passed her love of ancient classics on to me."

"How did she die?" I prompted quietly, "If you don't mind me asking."

"It's okay," she answered, "It was more than three years ago, I should talk about it sooner or later, right?" she paused and gave me a sad smile, "We got into a car accident one day when she picked me up from school. We were T-boned by one of those super-semi trucks whose brakes locked up as he tried to stop at a red light. Stephanie had just started into the intersection so the truck only crashed into the front of the car," Bella looked down and let her hair cover her face again, "Stephanie's laptop as well as a box full of printouts and revisions from her latest novel were piled in the front seat so I took the back passenger-side seat that day.

"Her latest book, which was destroyed in the crash," she added poignantly, "Saved my life. I walked away from the accident with a few bumps and bruises, but Stephanie died on the spot."

Bella was lost in her memories and I was heartbroken. Why was fate so cruel? I had thought that she was punishing me for my misdeeds, but now I saw the truth. Fate was torturing Bella, an innocent soul. Killing her once wasn't enough so Fate decided to bring her back to life and torture her some more. I was lost in contemplation of my own until Bella continued with her story.

"I searched for Stephanie's cell phone so I could call 911. I kept asking her where it was even though she couldn't answer. Her hand was covered in blood, but she reached out and touched my face. The phone was in her hand and she dropped it on my lap. She said 'I love you Bella' then she closed her eyes. She never opened them again, the paramedics pronounced her dead as soon as they arrived." It was quiet for a long moment before Bella finally spoke again, "The worst part is that it was all my fault."

I stared at her in disbelief. She couldn't possibly think that there was anything she could have done to change what happened, that would simply be outrageous. "Bella," I scolded, "What happened was a tragedy, but it most certainly was not your fault."

A single tear fell from her eye onto her bed sheets and I regretted making her tell the story. "It was," she argued, "I was the one who asked her to pick me up from school that day. Usually I just walked home, but I had had one of these horrible headaches that I used to get all the time, and I also wanted to stop and get some groceries on the way home," she added a bit offhandedly. She looked beside herself in grief and self blame. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be alright, but I couldn't. I didn't want to scare her by breaching her personal space with my cold skin, but I also didn't know that everything would be alright. I couldn't comfort her, and I couldn't comfort myself, so I sat with my hands in my lap and listened.

"I called her when I got out of class, she was at the library." Bella continued with her story, "She loved to work on her stories at the library, I have no idea why," Bella's doting smile this time didn't reach her eyes, "I asked her to come pick me up because my head hurt too much to walk to the grocery store then carry all the groceries home. She dropped what she was doing and left the library instantaneously. She always worried about my headaches, so I didn't like to tell her about them, but I did anyway that day. It was only after the accident when the doctors gave me a CAT scan at the hospital that I found out the reason I was having those headaches was because I was so sick."

I couldn't hold myself back anymore. Bloodlust and cold, hard skin be damned, I reached over and hugged her. I held her in my arms as lightly as I could bear so I wouldn't hurt her but I never wanted to let go. She hugged me back and I assumed it was a strong hug for a human, it felt like butterfly kisses to me. "Oh Bella," I sighed, "I'm so very sorry."

She let go and stared up at me. The look was slightly dazed, "Please don't Edward," she said quietly, "Please don't feel sorry for me, I don't want pity and I don't deserve sympathy. It was my fault."

I tried to argue, but she stopped me, "You know I once theorized that everything happens for a reason," she continued to stare deep into my eyes and I was more than willing to search the depths of her chocolately pools in response, "A few months before her death, I had a talk with Stephanie about life insurance." Bella paused, allowing a slightly amused expression to fill her features with the memory.

"I asked her if she thought it would be a good idea to purchase some sort of life insurance policy in case something ever happened to her so that I would be taken care of," she explained, "I know I was too young to be thinking about things like that, but she agreed right away that it was completely necessary." She was shaking her head now as she continued with her story. "Of course being the crazy, passionate woman that she was, Stephanie went out the next day while I was at school and bought the most expensive, most thorough life insurance package she could find. I was less than thrilled and tried to convince her that I wouldn't need that much protection, not to mention there was a one in a million chance that I would ever need to file the claim. She would hear nothing of my arguments and I eventually gave up. She could be rather stubborn sometimes," Bella smiled lovingly again.

"Well as you can imagine, being in and out of a hospital for three years can be rather costly. Her insurance plan covers it all for me. I've received top of the line treatment everywhere I've gone. I've spent the last few years in downtown Chicago. The University Hospital recently added a very hi-tech cancer center and I was receiving treatment. Their radiation technology has come a long way, I would've hated to have to go through the old fashioned chemotherapy, and did you know people used to lose all their hair?"

I smiled at Bella's rapid change of subject. I of course remembered very well the old days of chemotherapy, but I wanted to know more about Bella's new life and the hardships she had faced. "So how did you end up here in Glen Ellyn?"

"This is where I'm from," she answered quickly. "When I found out that I wouldn't be going back to the orphanage, that I would be a permanent hospital resident, I asked to be transferred back here to Glen Ellyn. I just wanted to go home, or be as close to home as I could manage, and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in the teaching hospital."

I tried to smother the sadness which was threatening to explode in my stomach with Bella's story. She had had a really hard past three years, and she had to fight for a final request: to get away from the everyday examinations by students at the University Hospital. "It took a few phone calls, but Mrs. Christianson, the hospital social worker here finally helped me. She's such a nice lady and she's dealing with a lot. Her daughter is stuck here in the hospital as well, she has a heart disease, it's incurable and she's going to need a transplant soon if she's going to have any hope of surviving. Her name is Christy, and she's a sweet little girl, she's come to visit me four times already since I got here," Bella smiled and I pictured the little girl my family and I saw sneaking out of this very room earlier today,

"Seeing how worried Mrs. Christianson is makes me kind of glad that Stephanie isn't around to deal with all this. Sometimes I wish that she was here so I could talk to her, but I know it's better that she's not, I don't think she would have handled this too well. She probably would have had a heart attack and a couple of ulcers by now," Bella laughed then grew quiet, "I feel like I've been monopolizing this conversation," she finally said, "I've told you so much about me, but I know nothing about you except for your name and the names of your mother and sister."

Bella was just as brave and just as selfless as I remembered, so of course she was just as curious too. It warmed my cold dead heart having her back in my arms again, but it chilled me to the bone knowing what she had to go through to reach that point. "Bella you've dealt with so much in your life," I said quietly. I scooted myself a little further away from her and it hurt to do so. It was getting very late and Bella needed her rest, "I should let you go to sleep now."

She looked shocked and clearly disappointed that I had come to this conclusion as I slowly stood up so I could head out and let her sleep. "Wait," she pleaded, "You're leaving? I'm not tired at all! I've slept nearly the whole day, I sleep almost everyday. Don't you want to hear about those dreams?" she baited.

I of course couldn't deny her, and she had my interest piqued with her dreams. I wasn't planning on actually leaving her right away anyway. I was just going to head out of her room so she would be able to fall asleep, then I would stay nearby so I could keep an eye on her. "Alright Bella," I conceded and returned to my place on her bed, "Tell me about your dreams."

She smiled and then blushed. It was irresistible and I desperately wanted to know what she was thinking. I tried to keep my curiosity in check as I waited for her to begin her story. "After the accident," she finally began, "I had nightmares almost every night. I usually woke up screaming or crying. My mother's last words 'I love you Bella' always resounded in my head and tore at my heart in my subconscious mind. After a few weeks her final words began to change in my dreams. Well I suppose it wasn't the words that changed, but the way she said them, her voice changed. It wasn't her voice anymore, and it wasn't her saying it anymore. Most of all, the way I felt when I heard those words in my dreams changed. No longer did they make me want to cry because of my loss, but they made me want to sing. They made me happy and I felt complete for those few minutes inside my head until I woke up and realized it wasn't real. Eventually the nightmares went away, but I still dreamt of that voice. Those dreams changed too, they became more detailed." She paused and looked at me shyly so I nodded for her to continue.

"Sometimes I dreamt of dark clouds and rain. Sometimes I saw blurs of green plants. I hate the rain, but in my dreams the clouds and rainy skies were always a good thing. For some reason, the clouds meant that I would see the boy who said he loved me and called me Bella, the boy who I knew that I loved even though I never really met him, the boy who looks remarkably just like you," she smiled tentatively.

I gazed into her eyes for a few seconds as she stopped speaking and I saw what I had never imagined even hoping for. Love. At that moment it didn't matter that we had been apart for over fifty years. It didn't matter that we only had six months. It didn't matter that she wasn't sure who I was. The only thing that mattered was that I loved her, and now I knew that however unexplainably, she loved me back. I should have known better than to think that death or my lack thereof could keep us apart. I was awed into silence as this revelation hit me so I sat there gaping at her until she continued her story.

She took a deep breath, "He, well you, began creeping into my nightmares as well, but you always saved me and protected me from whatever demon was haunting my sleep. Once I had a nightmare that I could have sworn was real. I was in a room with lots of mirrors." She paused when I inhaled sharply. I knew which nightmare she was referring to. "There was a man with some sort of video recording device which looked very old. He taunted me and tortured me. He had the reddest eyes I had ever seen and I thought that he would kill me. But then you burst into the room and saved me. I think there were more people with you, but I wasn't positive. I remember hearing Alice's voice too."

"I will never let anyone hurt you again," I vowed solemnly. I had promised myself once that I would do whatever it took to protect Isabella Swan from danger, even if the danger was me. I failed once before, but I would not fail again. Bella was my life and always had been since the moment I laid eyes on her more than half a century ago. If fate had other plans for Bella, then I would fight Fate. I would rebel against my overbearing master. I was unsure what the next few months would hold in store for us, but I knew that I would never be too far from Bella's side. I would never leave her for as long as she lived.

She seemed puzzled at my oath but seemed to think better than to question it. "Bella," I tried again, "You really do need to sleep now. I'll be back tomorrow after school to visit you, I promise."

"Where do you go to school?" she asked. Her curiosity never ceased.

"Glen Ellyn Hills High School"

"Oh I would still be going to school there as well, what grade are you in?"

"Eleventh"

"Right, me too, well I would have been if I could still go to school," she said remotely.

"Don't worry you're not missing too much. High school is the dullest torture ever invented," I assured her, "So if you're sixteen now, you must have been fifteen when you started eleventh grade right? Why so young?" I wondered. Her birthday wasn't until September and school started in late July now.

"I skipped a grade," she said sheepishly. "Stephanie always thought I was a bit too old for my body so she let me skip eighth grade and start high school early. You don't seem much like an eleventh grader yourself though. How old are you?"

I almost laughed at the irony of the situation. This was too familiar, but I was not about to divulge all my secrets tonight. "Seventeen," I replied out of habit.

She stared at me questioningly for a moment. Suddenly a light filled her eye as if she was having some sort of revelation, "And how long have you been seventeen?"

This time I really did laugh, and she seemed taken aback. "That's enough questions for tonight I think. You should really try to go to sleep now, what does it take for you to fall asleep, should I sing you a song?" I half joked.

The surprise on her face only increased, "Like a lullaby?" she whispered, so quietly I wasn't sure I would have heard it if I had been human.

More seriously I replied, "Would you like that?"

She nodded uncertainly so I began humming the lullaby she inspired me to write long ago. She smiled and spoke to herself in a voice I knew I was not meant to hear. "My lullaby," she whispered. I beamed in response but her eyes were already closed. I was so happy that she remembered her lullaby, that she remembered me at all. Then all of a sudden her eyes bolted open again. "Can I just ask you one more question?" she pleaded.

I nodded in approval.

"Your eyes," she stated. I knew all too well where this train of thought was headed, and it was nowhere safe if Bella was going to stay in the dark about vampires this time around. "They were black, like onyx earlier today and now they're deep gold, just like my dreams. What changed?"

"Would you believe I got contacts?" I asked humorlessly.

She shook her head. "No there's something more. Something you don't want to tell me," she said and I frowned. She was too perceptive for her own good. "It's something important, and I think it's the key to all this. I will figure it out," she warned.

"I really wish you wouldn't try," I repeated those words I had used long ago in an attempt to discourage her curiosity, "But I don't know why I bother trying to keep it from you," I finally confessed, completely resigned, "You figured it out last time, with a little help I admit, you're bound to figure it out again."

"Last time?" she asked, curiosity ruling her features.

"Perhaps, if you reassigned some of your dreams as memories, some of this would make a little bit more sense to you," I divulged, unsure if I was giving her too much information and far too soon. I didn't want to frighten her or even sadden her. I just wanted to enjoy her company while I could. I knew it was selfish, but if she loved me too, after all this time, then maybe it was right.

She seemed confused, but she closed her eyes and I began singing her lullaby once again. I sat there on the edge of her bed for a few more minutes, watching her face, rememorizing the features I had known and loved, and then lost for more than fifty years. She looked much more peaceful in sleep then she used to. Her face was relaxed and her beautiful hair fell down past her shoulders. I switched off the light by her bed and picked up the stack of books I had all but forgotten I was going to give to her. I placed the stack on the table beside her bed and took one final look before heading out. I ignored the burn in the back of my throat and lightly kissed her forehead. She stirred and I worried that I had woken her. "I love you too Edward," she said softly and I smiled. It seemed the sleep talking hadn't been lost in death. I loved her more than she could ever know and I reveled in the thought that she loved me still.

I finally took my leave and wandered into the hallway outside Bella's room. I locked the door and scanned the surrounding area for any humans. I heard only the dreams of the children who slept in the same hall as Bella so I ran all the way out of the hospital at vampire pace. I drove back to my house and heard the concerned thoughts of my family from the moment I pulled into the driveway. The night had passed too quickly, talking to Bella. It was after four o'clock in the morning, and we would leave for school in less than three hours. I knew my family would bombard me with questions and concerns as soon as I stepped into the house, but I didn't mind. Nothing they could say would bring me down at that moment. I had my Bella back and she loved me after all this time.

I marched into the house with a smile on my face and a skip in my stride. Surprisingly my family was not gathered in the living room waiting for me. The only one waiting to greet me was Alice. She smiled at me, but said nothing. _I convinced them to leave you alone for tonight. Nobody is going to bother you about Bella, for tonight at least. I had another vision about Bella today. I'm not sure about the time frame, but I think it's soon_. She replayed the vision in her mind. It was Bella walking through our house holding my hand. She looked radiant, and she looked curious, but she also looked right at home, like she belonged. It warmed my cold heart further and I smiled at Alice.

"Thanks Alice," I said quietly. I made a split second decision to let Alice in on a secret that I knew would make her blissfully happy. "She asked about you tonight, Alice." Alice simply stared at me in response, stunned, "She was wondering if I knew you," I grinned, enjoying Alice's frenzied and excited thoughts.

_She remembered me? Bella remembered me? It was amazing enough that she remembered Edward, but she remembered me too, and she didn't even see me! I knew we would be best friends!_

I walked away leaving Alice to her thoughts. I heard Jasper in the library down the hall, wondering why his soul mate was so happy right now. I had to admit that I could practically feel the waves of happiness rolling off of Alice so it must be extremely potent for Jasper, the empathic vampire. I found myself in the dining room/family room staring at the old piano that Esme had shipped here from a storage unit in Forks. I hadn't played once since I last played for Bella but as I looked at the pristine instrument that sat in front of me I couldn't deny the urge.

I sat down at the piano bench and played until it was time to get ready for school. I played Bella's lullaby over and over again, changing and adding to it each time. With each new version of the song, I tried to make it as beautiful as she was, but that was impossible. I was finally satisfied shortly before I left for school. The song was no longer a lullaby, but a song about waking up. During those fifty three agonizing years, I had wanted nothing but sleep, but yesterday rather than granting me sleep, Bella had woken me up. She brought me back to life in a way that only she could, and once again I knew that I would never be the same, and I never wanted to.


	7. The Book of Revelation

**A/N Hi everybody, so I know I already added two chapters today, but I got two reviews and realized that people are actually reading this!! I'm shocked, and really grateful. This chapter is dedicated to Mimi-Love-4ever because her review is what inspired me to post this tonight. **

**If you're looking for a great story I recommend her story "Your Guardian Angel" It has a really fantastic story line.**

**Disclaimer: Guess what, I don't own Twilight or any of the cool characters or places (such as Forks). I know, shocker right? We can thank Ms. Meyer for those (and I'm not referring to Rachel ;)**

**Thanks for reading!**

Chapter 7 – EPOV

School was a thousand times more monotonous and tedious than usual because I was dying to see Bella again. My brothers and sisters had taken Rosalie's car so that I would be free to race off to the hospital to see Bella as soon as school was over. Alice had begged me to take her to see Bella today as well, but I decided it wasn't a good idea to overwhelm Bella so soon after being reunited.

Rosalie's bright red BMW seven series convertible sped off in the direction of the house and I continued along the road toward the hospital. Rosalie had always preferred BMW and she had the finest taste in sports cars, that piece of machinery, her newest acquisition was no exception. Rosalie had mixed emotions about Bella returning to my life. Long ago she had felt many shades of jealousy toward Bella. She was jealous that somehow, Bella, a mere human, had grabbed my attention in a way that her own vampire beauty never could. It wasn't that Rosalie even wanted my attentions for any reason other than vanity, she was simply not used to not being worshipped and adored by every man that walked the planet. Rose was also jealous of Bella's humanity. Rose wanted to be human again more than anything in the world, she didn't like that Bella was so willing to throw away her humanity to be with me forever, to be transformed into a bloodthirsty creature of the night.

These old prejudices haunted Rosalie still, but she worried now in the same way Esme had been worrying yesterday. It was almost touching to me when I discovered that Rosalie actually cared about somebody besides herself. I heard her brooding over the situation last night and I was shocked. Rose didn't want me to get hurt again. She clearly saw the pain I had been facing the past fifty years, and she felt sorry for me. She actually wanted me to be happy, and for that reason she was glad that I had once again found my source of peace and joy in this world. At the same time she hated to think of what I would be like when Bella died of the cancer which confined her to the hospital at present. I couldn't blame her for that, but the only option Rose could come up with was changing Bella into a vampire herself, a subject that was completely taboo, even in the thoughts of my family.

My whole family knew my stance on changing Bella into one of us. They had known it ever since I decided we had to leave Forks to save her. I refused to steal Bella's soul so that I could enjoy her company for the rest of eternity. That would be the epitome of selfishness. At the time Rose had been on my side. Not about leaving Forks, she had been furious about leaving Forks, but she agreed that we should leave Bella human. She thought Bella didn't value her humanity nearly enough, and she was right about that much.

The taboo subject had hardly even passed into the subconscious minds of the rest of my family before they dismissed it. They knew I wouldn't change her, so all they had was worry, no solutions to offer. I continued speeding to the hospital and parked near the cancer ward this time. I gave my information to the parking computer and the generic female voice programmed into the system welcomed me once again to the hospital.

I went straight to the cancer ward this time, heading for the floor where Esme worked. I strolled past the nurse's lounge anxious to see my Bella again but the thoughts of the social worker, Augusta Christianson deep in conversation with Dr. Minor met my ears. What was the pair of Bella's caretakers doing in the nurse's lounge? I hid around the corner and listened in closely to Augusta's thoughts. "So what you're saying doctor, is it is possible? Rachel's heart is small enough to fit Christy's body. The transplant could be done." _Christy would be saved! She could come home! This is the answer I've been waiting for. _

I stared at the white walls in front of me in horror. This Augusta woman was planning on taking my Bella's perfect heart and replacing it with a diseased one, something that would undoubtedly kill her faster. I couldn't allow this to happen. I would protect Bella at all costs. I had been counting on those six months and I could not allow Augusta to steal my borrowed time! My initial shock at what I was hearing completely captured my consciousness and I nearly forgot about the conversation I had been eavesdropping on.

"Well yes. Rachel's heart is in fine condition and it is the perfect size for Christy, simply a few millimeters difference in size. But I don't think I can perform that surgery, not only are there moral obligations which I need to uphold, but it is a very difficult operation." _Mostly I can't stand behind a decision to sacrifice one child to save another. _

I knew I liked this Dr. Minor. He would not let Augusta have her way with Bella. Maybe I would see if I could boost his annual salary or give him a nice Christmas bonus.

"But doctor, Christy needs a new heart. She'll die if she doesn't get one soon. Don't you see, if you don't do the surgery, you'll be letting both girls die! Doctor, you have the power to save one of them. Please! Don't let Christy die!"

Augusta was growing hysterical. Her thoughts were hardly coherent and Dr. Minor was shaken by her pleas, a mother's attempt to save her child. _Maybe I could do the transplant, they could switch hearts. Rachel is going to die either way. The transplant probably won't even speed the process that much. _

All thoughts of a Christmas bonus immediately evaporated from my mind. Dr. Minor was a traitor.

_But no, no the risks are too high. Rachel could die right there in the operating room. Or I could end up killing both girls. We need somebody with more experience. _"Look Augusta, I told you I can't do the surgery. I have little experience with transplant operations, the risks are too high," Dr. Minor concluded.

"Doctor, please remember that Rachel is dying anyway. There's nobody here to mourn her death, if it happens sooner than later, there's nobody to protest," Augusta reasoned.

My teeth mashed together. If she thought there was nobody here who cared for Bella, she had another thing coming. Dr. Minor's faced hardened, he did not approve of Augusta's rationalizations. "Augusta, I believe it is your job to protest that sort of thing exactly."

I saw through Dr. Minor's mind Augusta's face fell heavily. Tears filled her eyes and I heard the desperation in her thoughts. "Please Jerry. I come to you as a friend. We've known each other for more than a decade. Please don't let my little girl die. There has to be something you can do," Augusta begged.

Doctor Gerald Minor's face softened and I recognized some more traitorous thoughts seeping into his consciousness. "As Rachel's caretaker, you have the right to authorize a transplant surgery. I refuse to allow any doctor to operate on her though, without her permission," Augusta nodded. She looked relieved and she imagined bringing Christy home finally. She listened attentively, "There is a somewhat new doctor who works on the east wing of the hospital," Dr. Minor continued, "I've spoken with him once or twice, and I must admit he is a very brilliant doctor. He has performed risky transplant surgeries before with great success and if anyone at this hospital could safely perform this surgery it would be him."

I was horrified as an image of my father's face filled Dr. Minor's mind. How dare he think of asking my father to help in their scheme of ending Bella's life? It was outrageous and I knew my father would not agree to it, but I was fuming nonetheless.

"What's his name?" asked Augusta cautiously, "Do I know him?"

"His name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen," he replied, "His wife is a nurse on this floor, so you may have seen him around."

"Right, I know who he is. His wife's name is Esme. She's wonderful with the children, Christy adores her." _He has to do it. He has to save my Christy. What will Esme think of this? She wants to find Christy a replacement heart too. Maybe she'll help me convince her husband. _

Thinking of Esme, I could now hear her thoughts radiating from a room almost near the end of the hall. She was talking with Bella. My fury at these alleged caretakers was replaced by jealousy. Esme was able to go talk to Bella whenever she wanted. She didn't have to leave Bella during the day to go to school, it wasn't fair. Having had enough of the atrocious conversation taking place in the nurse's lounge, I walked at a quick human pace to the room where my mother and Bella were talking. I knocked on the door and considered taking up a work-study program at the hospital. Usually Glen Ellyn Hills only let seniors participate in these programs, but I was certain that I could be convincing enough to gain entrance to one of the programs offered at my school.

"Come in," I heard my love call. I tried to make sure the grimace I had been wearing while I listened to Augusta Christianson and Dr. Minor talking was wiped from my face, and then obliged. "Edward," she smiled, before I was all the way through the door, "You came back!"

"Of course I did, silly Bella. I told you I would," her excitement and uncertainty were utterly ridiculous. How could I not come back?

"I know, I just—," she cut off as a light blush colored her face. Esme smiled at her knowingly.

"Oh come now, Bella," Esme began lightly, "You can't expect our dear Edward to stay away from you for too long," she joked. _She's searching for answers Edward. I don't know how much you want to tell her, but I support you no matter your decision. _

I nodded in acknowledgement to Esme's warning. I was glad for the support and thrilled that Esme had accepted Bella once again, to the point of calling her Bella instead of Rachel.

"Well I have to head out now," Esme said suddenly, "I have tons of patients to attend to. You kids have fun." Esme smiled with all of her motherly warmth. _One more thing Edward, I'm sorry I was so hard on you yesterday afternoon. I just don't want to see you get hurt, but this is Bella, there's no doubt about that. I'm overjoyed to have her back in our lives; I just wish it was longer. _Esme gracefully walked to the door. _Oh and Edward, I loved the new song you made. You should bring Bella over sometime and play it for her. _

I nodded inconspicuously and smiled some more. I would have loved nothing more than to bring Bella by the house and play for her. I wondered who I should speak to in order to set up some sort of home visit.

As Esme exited the room, I sat quietly at the edge of Bella's bed. Her smile was joyous and I assumed it had to be an exact replica of mine.

"So how was your day today," I began conversationally, finally remembering that I needed to speak. She laughed at my completely ordinary attempt at small talk. Her features were even more radiant when she laughed.

"Nothing spectacular," she grinned, "And how about yours? Anything interesting?"

"Nothing until a few minutes ago," I admitted. I felt my smile contort slightly as I remembered the loathsome conversation I had borne witness to shortly before entering the room.

Of course she noticed, "Edward what's wrong? What happened?" she asked, concern coloring her face.

"Nothing," I nearly growled.

"Edward," she demanded reproachfully, "Tell me."

I stared at her for a few moments and saw the resolve on her face. She wasn't about to allow me to get away with not telling her. "It's just something I heard Mrs. Christianson talking about. It's nothing you need to worry about," I admitted.

"Was it about me?" she guessed.

My lips formed a hard line and I nodded.

"Edward I know it's hard, and I'm sorry you have to go through this now. But can you tell me what she said?"

"It seems her daugher, Christy is in need of a heart transplant. Her heart disease is very serious, and a transplant is the only way to save her," I said, hoping this was enough to assuage her curiosity, I wasn't sure I could bear to say the rest out loud.

Bella nodded knowingly and I felt annoyed that I was unable to hear what she was thinking, so I continued in an attempt to drag the thoughts out of her.

"Bella did you already know that Augusta had somebody in mind for the transplant?"

Now Bella nodded guiltily and I was appalled. What I wouldn't have given to hear her thoughts at that moment.

"Please Bella," I begged, "Tell me you are not okay with Augusta's plan to give you her daughter's sick heart. Bella, that's suicide!"

She cringed at my words and her face fell so that her hair covered it completely, blocking her eyes from my view. I immediately felt guilty about what I said, but thiss I could not allow. I had been without her beautiful eyes and face for what felt like an eternity already, so I again lifted her chin so that she was looking me in the eye. "Tell me what you're thinking," I begged, letting my face soften a bit as I spoke.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I never meant to hurt you, but Christy's my friend and she needs a new heart," she grabbed my hand in an attempt to make me understand, then she spoke softly, "Edward, I'm going to die no matter what. What use will I have for my heart then? When I found out that they were having such a hard time finding a heart for Christy, I convinced Mrs. Christianson to consider using mine. She was hesitant at first, but she eventually agreed that it was best to save at least one person if we could, especially since I wasn't leaving anyone behind, or I didn't think so at the time—," Bella cut off when she saw the agonized, infuriated look on my face.

"Bella--," I began but couldn't bring myself to accept what she had just said, "Bella, please don't tell me that this was your idea," I pleaded with her. The look on her face was miserable but I refused to believe it. Bella had actually convinced this woman to take her heart. Bella's selflessness and lack of self preservation knew no bounds. But what she didn't realize was that by allowing Mrs. Christianson to strip her of her perfect heart, she was giving away mine too.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I didn't know I would actually get to meet you. I thought you were a figment of my imagination. I'm so, so sorry, but I have to do this. She's my friend. I can't just let her die, not if I can save her!"

"But Bella, I love you, so by what measure do you think that I would just let you die, if I had the power to save you?" I countered.

"You love me?" she asked, completely sidetracked as a smile threatened to occupy her face.

"Of course I do silly. Did I not tell you that your dreams were more than dreams? They're memories Bella."

"I don't understand how that's possible," she admitted, "I feel like I'm recovering from a case of amnesia."

I smiled at her analogy. "I suppose you sort of are," I said thoughtfully, "But what I don't understand is how you can expect me to just sit by and let you die," I said, the anger returning to my features.

"Edward the difference is you don't have the power to save me. There's nothing you can do because no matter what this cancer is going to kill me. Unless you can convince my heart to keep beating without my brain's knowledge, or you know of some other way to sustain life, there's nothing you can do, I'm sorry."

At that moment there was a knock at the door. I heard Carlisle's bewildered thoughts from the other side of the door, but it wasn't because of the argument that was ensuing within the room. Apparently Augusta had tracked him down already and talked to him about the surgery. He hadn't given her a definitive answer and that scared me. He couldn't really be considering following through with this? I was mortified.

"Come in," I heard Bella call, but I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts. Carlisle walked into the room and I witnessed the spark of recognition that crossed Bella's face. Carlisle gave me a meaningful look. _I'm not sure if you're aware of Bella's plans with Christy?_

I didn't make eye contact as I nodded, but Bella seemed to notice the communication nonetheless. Why did she have to be so perceptive? Carlisle's thoughts filled my mind again. _Well I suppose you're taking it better than I would have thought._ I looked to my left and then to my right and Bella's eyes narrowed. The communication was certainly not lost on her.

"Hello Rachel," Carlisle finally addressed her. She met his eyes and I could see her putting together the puzzle in her mind. "How are you this afternoon? Would you mind if I spoke with you for a few minutes?"

Finally I saw the pieces click together, and she spoke in a barely audibly whisper, "Carlisle?" He gasped, then both of them looked at me questioningly and I simply shrugged. Who was I to explain the workings of Bella's mind?

"Do you remember me?" he asked tentatively.

She smiled and he beamed at her. _What a miracle, Edward this is a miracle. It's really Bella! She remembers you, and now she remembers me! I can hardly believe this!_

"You can call me Bella, if you'd like," she said penisvely, probably remembering some dream in which Carlisle had played a role.

"Of course, Bella," he laughed, enjoying the reunion, "But I need to talk to you, Edward, perhaps you should leave the room?"

"No Carlisle, it's okay," she said, "I have a feeling that whatever you have to say, Edward will find out eventually, so you might as well tell him now so nobody has to repeat anything," she gave me an adoring smile and my heart melted. I knew that I couldn't be mad at her. It was her nature to sacrifice herself and her own needs for others. I would simply have to live with the consequences of her choice.

"Alright," he began, full physician mode taking over, "Mrs. Augusta Christianson, your designated guardian has alerted me to the fact that you are interested in a heart transplant operation in order to provide a new heart to a Miss Christina Christianson, her daughter," Carlisle paused and glanced in my direction to see how I was taking this information. I didn't even try to smile as I let my head fall forward onto my chest. Bella grabbed my hand to give me support. She never seemed too surprised or the least bit uncomfortable with the cool temperature of my hand. I met her eyes as she smiled and then began tracing little circles on my palm. It reminded me of our time long ago in our meadow just outside of Forks.

"Bella, you do understand the risks involved with this surgery?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes. I realize that the heart condition that is affecting Christy will be transferred to me with the surgery. I imagine that should significantly shorten my life expectancy," she tried to joke with no humor.

"Bella I'm not your primary caregiver, or your legal guardian, but know that I care about you greatly," I noted that he was back in father mode. "I've known you for a long time, and I thought you were dead once. It was difficult for me to bear the pain of that, especially coupled with the pain that Edward faced when we lost you. But I will respect your decision no matter what. I will perform the surgery, and I will do my best to save the little girl, and I will do all that I can to keep your new heart beating as well. I promise you that much. Now I ask you, as a father, as a friend, and as a doctor, are you sure about this decision?"

She gave me one sad look of apology before answering. "Yes, Carlisle," she said, "I'm completely resolved."

If I could have cried, I probably would have. I let the news of my love's imminent demise surround me and pull at the strings to my sanity. Carlisle had agreed to perform the surgery and remove Bella's heart and to replace it with a dying one, I couldn't move. My father was allowing this to happen, Bella was allowing this to happen, and I was expected to allow this to happen.

Back in doctor mode, Carlisle began to explain the logistics of the surgery and the time frame in which we could expect it to take place. "Miss Christianson's condition is failing quickly. She was actually unable to leave her bed today when asked by the nurses. I fear she is in a great deal of pain. The surgery will need to take place within the next few days; I'd say two weeks tops.

"I spoke to Dr. Minor right after I got done with Mrs. Christianson, and he thinks that if she slips into a coma for too long, then she will never recover whether she has a new heart or not. Now Bella, you will need to get plenty of rest and continue your normal routine of shots and medicines. The chemotherapy you had scheduled for Monday will have to be postponed until after the surgery. We'll determine which treatments to continue with after the transplant is complete. Most likely your primary treatment will be to fight the heart disease rather than the brain cancer."

Bella simply nodded. I didn't realize I had stopped breathing until Carlisle silently prompted me: _Breathe son, you're being too still for a human_.

"Now Bella, I'm going to speak with Dr. Minor and your nurses about scheduling a few home visits before the surgery," he didn't say it but I heard where his thoughts were headed. He didn't want Bella to have to spend her final days cooped up in a cold, hospital room.

"That's quite alright Carlisle," she said softly, "I have nowhere to go."

I looked at her incredulously. "You'll come to our house of course," I finally spoke.

"Yes of course, Bella," Carlisle agreed, "Our home is your home, it always has been."

It was Bella's turn to stare incredulously. "I don't know what to say," she admitted shyly, "That would be wonderful, thank you so much." She quieted for a moment and I waited for her to speak the thoughts I couldn't hear directly. "Carlisle can I ask you one more question?"

I recognized that tone. Curiosity would have been the death of Bella in the same fashion as the clichéd cat, if not for the cancer.

"You mentioned something about losing me once before," she started.

_Oh no, perhaps I have divulged too much._ Carlisle thought, knowing what she was about to ask.

"Edward told me that the dreams I've been having for the past few years about your family are actually memories," she continued, "What happened? I don't remember losing you. When did it happen? It couldn't have been during my lifetime because the clothing in my dreams is so old fashioned, but I don't understand how you all look the same exact age as you did in my memories. I feel like I have some sort of amnesia and I'm beginning to see bits and pieces of my life. Little things bring back memories, but I don't understand and Edward won't tell me. What does that make me? What does that make you? What—." Carlisle eventually stopped her torrent of questions.

"Bella, I believe you asked for one question," he chuckled, "It's not my place to answer these for you." He glanced at me quickly. _But I really think that you should tell her, and soon, Edward. Make her last days enjoyable. She didn't run away last time, she's not going to run away again, but right now it seems like the poor girl's head is about to explode. _I peered at the ceiling then at the floor in a motion of acknowledgement, which again was not lost on Bella. She removed her hand from mine and crossed it with her other across her chest, clearly frustrated. She was so cute when she was irritated.

"I will offer you a little help in solving this mystery though," Carlisle added to my dismay, "Tell me first everything that you know."

Bella perked up slightly but left her arms crossed, "Well I know that you are Carlisle Cullen, your wife is Esme Cullen and Edward is your adopted son. Edward's sister's name is Alice Cullen, and I believe there are two or three other siblings whose names I can't remember. I think there's a large one named Emmett."

He smiled in approval, so she continued quickly, "I know you all have golden eyes, I've seen Edward's eyes change shades because the first time I saw him, they were darker, almost black. You are all stunningly beautiful and you speak as though you are from a different era. You also seem to be able to communicate without speaking."

Carlisle was shocked at how observant Bella was, and he decided to correct her lone misconception. "That's only with Edward," he said. She smiled and uncrossed her arms when she realized that he was really going to humor her by acknowledging her reflections. "Not everyone in the family can communicate without speaking."

She analyzed that information for a moment, considering the possible implications as she bit her lip. She quickly remembered that she was listing what she knew already and continued with the inventory. "I know that you all know me and care for me, though I'm not sure why about that yet. I also know that the dream memories that I have make sense to you, though they only serve to confuse me. I know that Edward loves me. And I know that I love him back. The only other thing that I know is that I'm missing something very important which would probably help this to make sense to me. Oh and I also know that I sound completely crazy right now, and I don't even care."

Carlisle smiled patiently as Bella finished her speech. _It must be killing you that you can't read her mind_. I nodded and Bella looked back and forth between the two of us as she began chewing on her lip once again. "Well it seems like you have quite a lot figured out so far, I don't know what help I have to offer," Carlisle spied the stack of books lying on the nightstand and casually walked over as if he couldn't read the titles on the spines from across the room. "May I?" he asked as he carefully removed one of the books from the pile. Bella watched him curiously and I watched him suspiciously. I knew _Dracula_ was not a random book in that pile.

"Of course, I'm not entirely sure where those books came from actually, Edward?" she asked as she glanced back in my direction, "Did you leave those here last night?"

I smiled, "I thought you might enjoy some of the classics you loved long ago. I brought a few of your favorites and added a couple others in case you hadn't gotten around to reading them previously."

"Thank you," she said sheepishly, "You shouldn't have done that, I didn't get anything for you."

"Nonsense, it was my pleasure," I admitted, and I flashed her a crooked grin, "How many of those have you read?"

"Well like I said, I was pretty sure that Stephanie passed her love of ancient classics on to me, so I've actually read all of them, and you really did pick some of my absolute favorites."

I wasn't too disappointed that she had read them all. I wasn't entirely positive about how much time she would have left for reading anyway. "Jane Austen and Wuthering Heights, right?"

She smiled and nodded. "There's one more which always intrigued me, though I never fully understood why."

"Oh?" I asked. Completely engrossed in learning about the novels she treasured. I had all but forgotten about Carlisle as he stood in the corner examining the books, as if he had never heard of the titles, or had never seen a book for that matter.

"Dracula," she said quietly, glancing back at Carlisle, "There was always something about that book which made me feel like I was missing something. Like there was more to it than meets the eye."

I stared at her in disbelief, and she took that as confirmation. Carlisle carefully placed the copy of _Dracula_ which he was examining, back on top of the pile. "Well kids, I have some people to talk to before I head home tonight. Edward, if you give me your keys, I'll have Esme move your car out of the visitors section so it isn't towed?"

_Very nice Carlisle_, I thought wryly. He all but came right out and told her that we were a coven of vampires, and now he was going to leave me alone to figure out how to explain this to ever curious Bella correctly.

He smiled at me conspiratorially, and I rolled my eyes. _Good luck Edward_, he thought. I almost rolled them again.

After he left Bella met my eyes. Her mouth was a levy holding in the thousands of questions I saw in those chocolate depths. Finally she asked yet again, "Edward, how old are you?"

I laughed and replied easily, "Seventeen."

"And how long have you been seventeen," she repeated her question from the previous night.

"Fifty four years longer than the last time you asked me these questions," I responded finally, giving her at least one answer, "So, a long time."


	8. Interview With A Vampire

**A/N Hello there, and welcome to Chapter 8. In this chapter we will discuss Bella and Edward (oh goodie, what a surprise). I'm so impressed that you decided to read all the way to this chapter and really grateful.**

**Unfortunately I must admit that I am not responsible for the wonderful world of "Twilight" so I do not own anything at all, that means I'm not gaining anything by publishing this—other than the satisfaction I get from playing God with the lovely characters. **

**Oh and the Chapter title is of course compliments of Anne Rice. **

**Hope you like it!**

Chapter 8 – EPOV

She was quiet for a long moment, busy brooding and sorting things out in her head. She didn't seem startled at all by my revelation, but I still worried. It would have been marvelous to be able to hear the brooding first hand, but I resigned myself to wait patiently for the next tidal wave of questions.

"When were you born?" she finally asked uncertainly. Even though this question was completely relevant and a logical jump in our conversation, it still took me by surprise. I definitely relied on my mind reading abilities a bit too much.

"June 20," I smiled crookedly and she waited expectantly for the year, "1901," I finally added in a soft voice. It felt bizarre admitting that, even to Bella.

I expected a comment about the fact that I was nearly one hundred and sixty years old, but of course being Bella she would never do the expected. I loved that about her. "A June baby," she laughed, and her smile lit up her whole face. "So where were you born?"

"Chicago of all places, believe it or not."

"I take it you've moved around a lot since then," she stated intuitively.

"Every four to five years ever since I was seventeen," I stated matter-of-factly, "People tend to notice if you're not aging by about that time."

I waited as this information sunk in; I wasn't sure what she would make of it. I had just admitted that I had been aging up to that point, and then stopped. I was certain that she would be exceptionally confused as I re-explained my nature to her, but the puzzlement on her face was actually very mild. At last she decided which question to ask me next and she continued with the interrogation. "What color were your eyes when you were born?" she asked.

I smiled because she was simply too intelligent for her own good. It was amazing that she had combined the fact that I didn't age anymore with the golden color of mine and the rest of my family's eyes. "Green," I stated and I received a radiant smile in exchange for my answer.

"So what brought you back to Chicago?" she asked. Her curiosity knew no bounds.

"My father," I paused for half a second, deciding how I would be able to explain this while being as honest as possible and avoiding anything to do with vampires, "Carlisle was given the opportunity to purchase a large tract of land, a park reservation, just outside the suburb. He came to visit the land and finalize the purchase a little more than three years ago. While in town, he stopped by this less than quaint hospital here in this comparatively old fashioned town; investigating local hospitals is a hobby of his. The day he arrived, the chief surgeon announced his retirement and Glen Ellyn Hospital announced that they were desperately in need of a new surgeon to fill his post. Carlisle took the position two days later and we all moved shortly thereafter."

"Dr. Samuels," Bella said thoughtfully. "He was chief surgeon here before you moved into town. I was here at this very hospital the day he retired. It was the same day as the accident." This new revelation struck me and I felt my jaw drop in shock as my upper eye lid stretched toward my forehead. Carlisle had been in this hospital the same day that Bella had gotten in the accident, the same day she had been here. As Bella continued her story I hung on every word that she said. Her own mind was elsewhere however, whether remembering the day her life changed forever or lost in thought about something I had just disclosed I couldn't decide.

Solemnly, yet still halfheartedly, she explained the events of the fateful day "The driver of the super semi truck that hit us was Dr. Samuels' brother. He had broken a few ribs from impact with the airbag, and came in for surgery, surgery which Dr. Samuels carried out despite the conflict of interest. Unfortunately," she continued with hardly a breath, "During the operation something went wrong. One of the ribs had shattered completely in the accident. One shard had punctured his lung while another one somehow managed to get to his heart. Distracted by the one preventing his breathing, the doctors didn't notice the one in his heart until it punctured his main artery. Mr. Samuels died in the operating room." Bella said respectfully. "Dr. Samuels was completely inconsolable and announced his retirement twenty minutes after the failed surgical procedure."

The news of how my father's position had opened at the hospital was impossibly shocking to me, but it was also completely riveting. The same accident which had cost Bella her mother was indirectly responsible for the job opening which propelled us to move here right away rather than wait a few more years. Through some series of unfortunate events, fate had destined Bella and me to meet here, but why? Fate was bringing me so close to happiness that I could nearly taste it, only to rip it out from under me by condemning Bella to a young death. Why did fate gain so much pleasure from tormenting me?

I looked at Bella and noted that she seemed to be puzzling something as well. She was staring at her fingers and biting down exceedingly hard on her bottom lip and I began to worry that she might break the skin. This idea of course made my throat tickle, but I quickly banished the thoughts of her blood from my mind and focused on trying to figure out what she was thinking. As usual, it wasn't long before I gave up and had to ask, "Bella, please tell me what you're thinking about?"

She looked up at me, a dazed look in her eye. She stared past me to the flat screen monitors on my right, her hands playing with her end of the pale green blanket on which I had stationed myself during our conversations. She continued to stare at the reassuring rise and fall of her heart rate and blood pressure as it silently paced across the screen. I had secretly enjoyed the annoying beeping which older models of the machines used to make, at least when I was with Bella. I loved making her heart race and letting her hear it as well as I could thanks to the beeps which represented each beat of her overactive heart.

Suddenly she sat up completely straight on her cot as if finally grasping something important, or maybe even remembering something. "Edward, why was he interested in buying a large park reservation?" she asked, but there was something in her voice, it was almost patronizing.

I had no idea where that question came from. I quickly reviewed the conversation we had previously been engaged in and realized my mistake. Of course the purchase of a tract of park reservation land would sound unusual, if not plain weird. People don't just go around looking to buy reservations. They're not exactly a good investment, unless you're a vampire. "Carlisle is very dedicated to protecting herds of wildlife, you see we like to go hunting a lot, my family and I, it's a good bonding experience, and—,"

"Of course!" she cut me off. I was bewildered. "Animals!" she said excitedly, "You hunt animals!"

I was dumbfounded. It was clearly not a remarkable fact that we hunted animals, if she was referring to the human version of hunting that is. So why was she so excited about this? Was she even referring to the human version of hunting at all? I knew I wasn't, but she didn't know we were vampires. Did she? Had she figured it out? When?

My mind was whirling out of control. If she had figured out that we were vampires already, she must have thought that I hunted humans up to that point. I noted that she didn't look scared in the least, she was smiling contently, apparently proud of herself for figuring out our secret. She should have been scared, she should have been screaming, but having a bloodthirsty murderer alone with her in a small room never seemed to scare her before. I nearly rolled my eyes for the third time since arriving in Bella's room, her lack of self preservation was unsettling, yet so typical for her. I decided that I had to try and set her straight this time, why did she always trust me so completely? She had to understand that I could kill her as easily as a human could kill a butterfly or pop a bubble.

"Bella," I said disapprovingly, "Why don't you tell me what you know." I tried to ignore the tempting, beautiful hint of color that began to fill her face when she realized that her own excitement about the discovery was not reflected on mine. She didn't answer, but began chewing on her bottom lip. I softened my tone a bit in order to garner an answer and tried again, "Bella, please. I can't read your mind," I confessed, feeling frustrated.

This caught her attention and she ceased her attempt to puncture her bottom lip. "Why not?" she asked, innocence and curiosity the only thoughts apparent in her eyes.

"Excuse me?" I nearly stuttered. I had heard her perfectly, but there was simply no way she was asking me this question. She seemed to know a lot more than she was letting on.

"Why can't you read my mind?" she repeated stoically. I stared at her stunned for a moment and she gave me a little half smile, "You triggered the memory when I saw you nod your head when Carlisle and Esme were here," she admitted, "I kind of remember you and Carlisle communicating like that and somehow I just knew that it was an unspoken conversation. I thought that maybe you could all read each other's minds until Carlisle said that it was only with you. So why can't you read _my_ mind?" she asked yet again, curiosity clouding over her eyes.

Bella's vague dreams and memories of her past life seemed to be more than enough to help her realize the truth about my family and me. I was still astounded that she had been able to remember and figure out as much as she had, though. She was paying very close attention to our conversations and picking out little details which triggered her memories, I was impressed, but also worried. If she knew what she seemed to know, then why wasn't she scared? Perhaps she didn't fully understand the gravity of the situation, I would have to explain it to her.

In the half a second which passed while I quickly processed all the information I had just learned, I had nearly forgotten that I was supposed to be answering a question. Unfortunately, it was a question that I didn't have the answer to.

"I don't know," I finally stated. She looked disappointed but not entirely surprised. I truly had no idea why I couldn't hear her mind the way I could hear everybody else's, but I did know one thing for sure. Whether Bella fully understood I was a vampire or not, she couldn't possibly understand the implications that would go along with that fact. I was dangerous and Bella shouldn't be around me, no matter how badly I wanted to be around her.

I began to prepare myself to finally explain my true nature, because Bella would not want me around after that. I knew I had to do it; I had to make sure she understood, and I would respect her wishes if she asked me to leave. Rather, I would stay nearby to keep an eye on her but out of her sight so that I wouldn't frighten her.

A knock on the door startled Bella and I from our own ruminations. I had all but forgotten to wonder what Bella was thinking about, and now I was interested. Unfortunately, from right outside the door I heard the familiar mind of the night time nurse and groaned, "Alyssa" it must have been later than I thought. Time always went too quickly when I was with Bella.

Bella smiled indulgently and began tracing the knuckles on the back of my hand. It felt miraculous. "Come on in," she said sweetly. The door opened at once and Alyssa entered, carrying a tray of the most atrocious smelling mush, masquerading as human food. "Oh hi Alyssa, how's dinner going, anything exciting tonight?"

I smiled briefly at Bella's delightful tone but felt the smile falter as I was bombarded by Alyssa's thoughts. _And what do we have here? Mr. Gorgeous himself, hanging out after visiting hours yet again. _"Hi there honey, nothing too exciting tonight. Just meat loaf and green beans, but I'm afraid it's after visiting hours. I'm going to have to ask your guest Mr. Cullen here to head home for the evening." _What's he doing with _her_ anyway? I mean sure, she's kind of cute, and she has that whole damsel in distress thing going for her. Maybe he just likes hanging out with patients, like mother, like son I suppose. _Alyssa zeroed in our Bella's and my now clasped hands. _They look a little too comfy there for my tastes. It's definitely time for him to leave this room, oh I wish he were just a little bit older. I wonder if he's eighteen yet. _

"I'm sorry Alyssa, I lost track of time," I said truthfully, "I suppose I should be leaving now," I lied.

_That's right you're leaving. _"Follow me Mr. Cullen," _As closely as you'd like_. "I'll show you out," she said as she placed the tray down on Bella's table then rolled it in front of her. _Maybe I'll flip my hair when I turn around and try to catch his attention._

I slowly stood to follow Alyssa out of the room but didn't let my eyes leave Bella's. I hardly noticed Alyssa's attempt to capture my attention as she flipped her short blonde dyed hair as she turned around. I had no intention of leaving the hospital anytime soon and I cared to spend as little time as possible with Alyssa. Bella looked miserable at the thought of me leaving, and I felt the tiniest bit of elation that she still cared for me enough to miss me when I was away. Somehow, she really did still love me it seemed.

That thought made me so happy that I walked back toward where Bella sat in her bed and leaned over to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. Her heart rate picked up so much with the contact I heard Alyssa, who had resigned to watching the screen rather than our display of affection, beginning to worry that the machine was malfunctioning. If I hadn't been so accustomed to Bella's hastening heart, I would have been concerned that her involuntary response was due to fear, rather than irrational excitement. I didn't know exactly how much Bella knew about me at this point, but I was rather certain that she had ascertained my vampire nature despite my efforts to keep it secret. That would be enough to terrify anybody, that is anybody except for Bella.

"Be back soon," I whispered in her ear as I straightened myself up to leave, noting the completely un-horrified expression lighting up her face. If anything, Bella was beaming and her smile was luminous. Her eyes were twinkling invitingly and her heart rate was starting to return to normal. I was overwhelmed with the site, she was so beautiful. Brain cancer and a cold hospital room had never looked so inviting.

Alyssa was growing impatient with our exchange. I marveled that the endlessly perceptive Bella seemed to be all but oblivious of the vile woman's thoughts. "Thanks again for dinner Alyssa," she said softly.

"Good night Rachel," Alyssa responded, somewhat icily, "Enjoy your dinner."

The poorly concealed irritation finally caught Bella's noticed and she graced me with a conspiratorial half smile. I eagerly returned the gesture, but let the semi-smirk retreat from my features once outside of the little room. Alyssa's thoughts were simply too trying.

_Well I think little Miss Rachel has received more than her share of attention from you tonight my dear. Now you better start sucking up if you don't want to lose your visiting privileges altogether. _

I nearly scoffed out loud at Alyssa's vindictive and highly presumptuous thoughts. However I did not want to lose my visiting privileges, no matter how unlikely it was that Alyssa had the power to revoke them, so I heeded her unspoken warning and promptly turned on what remaining charm I possessed. It was easier knowing that Bella was nearby, she always brought out the best in me. I channeled my outright bliss at having Bella back in my life and allowed the lightness to fill my features.

"Your job must be so rewarding, Alyssa," I began, tilting my head so that I was gazing at her through my eyelashes, "You get to help so many people. And Heaven knows these children especially need a little comfort and support."

Alyssa's thought processes had released any hold on reason they had previously possessed. She stared at me for longer than normal and finally spoke, "Yeah, you're right," she said, less than eloquently. I easily recognized the tell-tale signs of what Bella called _"dazzling"_ and decided to press my advantage.

"I wish Rachel had someone to look after her though. It's just not fair that nobody is here for her, don't you agree Alyssa?" I asked determinedly.

"Yeah," she ogled, "Yeah I agree."

"It's only right that I step up and take care of her," I stated calmly, "She needs me, and I'll need to spend lots of time here with her. Sometimes even after visiting hours. But that won't really be a problem, right Alyssa?"

Alyssa just stared, trying to piece together what I was asking, well demanding of her. "Uh, I—," she fumbled for words and I seized the opportunity to shake my head left and right, aiding her in her decision making process. Automatically she copied my action, shaking her head slowly, then more vigorously. "No, no problem at all," she finally conceded.

"Alright, I'll be back in about tomorrow to check on Bella. Why don't you get back to serving the remainder of dinner?" I suggested, wondering if she would even remember this conversation later on. Alyssa seemed pretty out of it.

I began to walk away and I heard the cogs in Alyssa's mind turning as realization of the agreement we had just made began to sink in. "Wait," she called after a moment. I halted out of curiosity, hearing only questions in her mind. "Um who's Bella?" she asked.

I bit my lip realizing my slip up. It was too hard to call Bella any other name, even one as harmless as Rachel, but it still didn't feel right on my lips. My mind of course reverted back to one of the many Shakespeare's _Romeo and Juliet_ quotations, _"A rose by any other name…"_ I shook my head to dispel the Shakespearean thoughts from my mind and promptly decided to lie my way out this infrequent occurrence of a blunder in speaking. The only time I ever seemed to make mistakes was when I was around Bella, I always got a little too comfortable and let my guard down.

"Bella?" I asked with the exact necessary amount of innocence, "Doesn't sound familiar. We were previously discussing my extended visiting entitlements with Miss Meyer, perhaps there is a connection?"

_Extended visiting entitlements, is that what we were discussing? Sheesh I need to pay attention, he's TOO YOUNG for crying out loud. And he's a little intimidating, actually. There's just something about him, I can't place… _

I listened and waited with a patient look on my face, quite in contrast to the reality of my state of mind. I was anxious to be rid of Alyssa and her irritating thoughts. Her subconscious was finally starting to pick up on the danger that I presented and she stepped back, increasing the distance between us, if only the tiniest bit, before she spoke again.

"I'm not really supposed to…" she began, but I smiled with the most saccharine grin I could muster and stopped her in her tracks.

"Perhaps you can simply make a little exception, for me?" I tried not to smile when I realized she was in a daze yet again. There was no doubt I would get what I asked.

"Um, I guess I could maybe allow that, but not like everyday, okay?" _And as long as you come see me. _She did a double take and felt her subconscious warning again "Danger". _On second thought maybe you shouldn't come see me, handsome. You're a little bit scary, and too young anyway. _

I smiled at her normal human response, the response Bella should have. She should be scared. I could kill her with frightening ease. Simply because I would rather die a thousand painful deaths than allow Bella to be injured was no excuse. I always slipped up and let my guard down too much around Bella. I could easily harm her, and she should be more aware of that. My stream of thoughts left no break in the conversation as I was able to process the sum of them in less than half a second.

"That's wonderful Miss Alyssa," I addressed politely, "Thank you for your time."

"Your welcome honey, anytime!" she answered eagerly, momentarily forgetting her subconscious fear. I turned to walk toward the exit of the building and she walked the other way. She had completely forgotten what she was doing, but she continued walking anyway hoping it would come to her. I stifled my laugh and waited for her to return to the food cart and finish serving dinner to the hungry children. I wasn't completely sure about what time humans ate dinner in this time period, but I felt pretty confident it was supposed to be before eight. Alyssa must have been running behind and I only added to her tardiness by exacting her approval of my staying outside of visiting hours.

Amused, I listened to Alyssa figuring out her task and rushing back to the food tray. Then I heard something interesting. _Why does this Rachel girl get so many exceptions anyway? She shouldn't have been allowed to be transferred to this hospital in the first place. I heard Augusta discussing it with Dr. Minor; they pulled some strings to get Rachel here, said that she needed some sort of special chemotherapy. And then earlier today, that handsome doctor asked Sheryl to allow Rachel some sort of home visit. She doesn't even have a home, where did he want her to go, to his house? And now this? What is so freaking special about this Rachel girl?_

It was certainly true that I would have had no problem slapping the woman so hard that she flew through the wall for thinking such ghastly thoughts about Bella, how could she not see what was so plainly obvious? Bella was the most incredible being on this planet. I controlled myself however so as to not mess up the tentative agreement I had just made about my visiting hours. More than that though, I was excited, and a little nervous. According to Alyssa, Carlisle must have asked for Bella to come to our house for a few days before the procedure. I decided that I had to get home and ask him about this, but first I had to say goodbye to Bella, then maybe wait for her to fall asleep.


	9. Second Chance

**A/N Hello brave readers who have ventured all the way to chapter 9. I am honored to welcome you to this chapter, one of my favorites so far. I want to thank everyone who reviewed the story so far, that was very thoughtful of you and I greatly appreciated it. I got caught up in work (planning a fashion show, which went great I might add =D ) the past few days so I haven't had a chance to respond to any in a while, so consider this a general thank you.**

**Disclaimer: Desafortunadamente, no me llamo Stephanie Meyer. Esta cuenta está basada en la novela fantastica de ella, y no gano nada en recuerdo. Que triste, verdad?**

**Y ahora, the good stuff:**

Chapter 9

I waited for Alyssa to cross the threshold into another child's room, then ran at vampire speed back to Bella's room, swiped the key card and stealthily crept into the small space filled with her tempting scent. Nobody heard me enter except Bella and she smiled her brilliant smile at me as I found my place back at the edge of her bed. I couldn't fight the half smile that took over my face in response.

"You came back," she whispered, seemingly surprised. "And so soon," she added, the smile on her face only growing.

My smile faltered and I shook my head in exasperation. I couldn't understand why Bella was always so surprised that I would come back to see her. She clearly had no understanding of how great, and irresistible she was. Unfortunately she was irresistible to me in more ways than one. I ignored the slight burn in the back of my throat which accompanied dangerous thoughts like those and tried to reassure her, "Bella, of course I came back. I told you I would; did you think I would lie to you?"

She looked embarrassed, and I felt a little guilty though I adored the lovely blush coloring her cheeks. "It's just I thought you might be mad at me for remembering what you are," she said softly, still unable to regain total use of her voice. I noticed she was holding under her arm one of the books I had left for her, and my curiosity was roused.

"It's not that I'm mad at you, Bella," I answered as I reached for the book she had been reading. I snatched it quickly without breaking eye contact, and made her jump. I chuckled, then explained, "I could never be mad at you. I just don't like your lack of self preservation. You're supposed to be scared of me, you're supposed to run away or at least scream out for me to leave. I think maybe you don't really understand what I am." I held her gaze for another moment, drinking in the beauty of her deep chocolate eyes. Finally I looked at the book she had been holding, it was _Dracula_. Or maybe she did understand I realized, because it was no coincidence that she was reading the one about a vampire.

She was quiet for a moment, watching me study her book. "So you want me to run away?" she finally asked and my jaw dropped a little at her conclusion.

"No," I said hopelessly, hoping to erase the hurt look from her face, "The selfless part of me who loves you more than I love myself wants you to run away screaming, never to turn back. Then you would be safe," I admitted, resigned, "But the selfish part of me already knows that I can never be happy without you, knows that my life is pointless without you." I took an unnecessary breath and tried to gather my thoughts before I spoke again, "Bella I don't know if you can possibly understand how much I love you," I sighed, "And I don't know if you know this, but I would do just about anything to make you happy, and absolutely anything to make you safe."

Her heart beat had accelerated with my confession, but I kept my eyes glued to the book in my hands. It was silly for me to admit that. Bella had only known me for two days and it didn't matter that she had loved me once or even thought that she loved me now. She had died and she couldn't possibly love me again, especially not after two days.

Suddenly I felt one of her warm hands slide into my cold one and I flinched a little with the electricity which always flowed abundantly between us. She pulled back, interpreting my actions as a denial so I looked up to try and meet her eyes again. I was disappointed to see her face down with the familiar curtain of hair surrounding it. Feeling awful, I reached up and pushed some of the hair back behind her ear. "What's the point Edward?" she asked, there was no hostility or anger in her voice, just a hint of desperation.

I sat there quietly and waited for her to clarify because I had no idea what she was referring to. "Why would I even want to be safe?" she continued a bit more forcefully, "I don't know if _you_ know this, but I love _you_," she said, accenting the "you" both times. If she didn't have my total attention before, she certainly had it now. She smiled at me and I felt my doubts slowly disappearing as my dead heart swelled with the miracle of requited love, once again.

Still, I had to warn her. I had to make sure she really understood, "Bella, I'm a vampire. Don't you understand what that means? I don't want you to run away from me, but you should. I shouldn't be here because I could hurt you, I could kill you."

And with that she unleashed her frustration, "I don't want to be away from you, and I don't care what you are!" she exclaimed, "I don't care that you're a vampire, you don't even hurt humans, you hunt animals!"

"Bella, stop," I commanded. I couldn't let her become complacent, "I choose to hunt animals, but it's difficult. I don't want to be a murderer, but the blood of a human appeals to me with much greater force than the blood of an animal. More than that, your blood appeals to me more than _any_ other human I have ever come in contact with. The first time I met you I came so close to killing you, right along with the other twenty or so children in the room, just to have your blood. Bella I'm dangerous," I declared, "Especially to you."

Bella eyed me thoughtfully for a moment. "I don't think so," she finally whispered, much to my disbelief. I was about to give her a demonstration and unleash some of my pent up anxiety on the book I had in my hand. Just before I could crush the book to paper shards, she grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes. Her warm breath caressed my face and I was momentarily dazzled into speechlessness. My instinct to attack was almost completely forgotten and I simply stared back into her eyes. Her throat was so close but somehow my body knew better than to attack.

"I can't possibly comprehend how difficult it is for you to sit here this close and not follow your instincts to attack, but I think you can do it," she encouraged and I subdued my frustrated sigh. Bella was too trusting, "After all, you've done it before," she smiled.

"How do you know I didn't kill you before?" I countered, completely disgusted at the thought.

"I guess I don't," she confessed, "But the truth is, I don't think I could care less."

My eyes narrowed at this remark and I opened my mouth to speak. She lifted one finger on the hand that wasn't already clutched in mine and used it to silence me by covering my lips. I enjoyed the feeling a little too much to protest and allowed her to continue her thought.

"I'm dying," she said, matter-of-factly and I almost growled. "Edward, you know it's true, so I ask you again: What's the point? I would much rather you kill me now then spend the rest of my life without you. Although I would ask that you try not to kill me before Christy gets my heart," she joked, and this time I couldn't suppress the growl.

I absolutely hated her reasoning, but I had no argument. I couldn't even bring myself to say anything, so I simply stared at her in incredulity. She spoke of her imminent death as if it was something I could possibly allow to happen.

She reached up and stroked the side of my face. I felt my hard expression relax instantly without my permission. I loved her too much for my own good, and all too soon she would be leaving me, again. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to survive this time, it was too hard to lose her once and now I was supposed to sit by and lose her again.

"I'm so sorry Edward," she said with the caring voice which only she could capture. "I wish it didn't have to be this way, I don't want to leave you. I just met you, it's not fair." I watched as tears began to pool in her eyes then overflow down her cheeks, "If there was any other way," she breathed, but I cut her off.

I maneuvered so that I was sitting next to her in the small hospital bed and wrapped my arm around her small shoulders, hoping that she wasn't too cold. She leaned into my chest and I wiped the tears from her eyes. "It's okay my love," I crooned as I held her. "You're so very brave, and beautiful. Why don't you try to sleep now, you need to make sure you're fully rested before the surgery."

She obediently lay down a little bit more in the bed and closed her eyes, obviously warn out. I kissed both of her eyelids and began to sing her lullaby. "Edward?" she beckoned softly from somewhere between consciousness and dreamland.

"Right here my love," I answered.

"Don't you sleep?" she asked.

I had to laugh, "No my love, vampires can't sleep. No matter how much they want to," I added morosely.

She smiled and I stroked the hair behind her ear as she snuggled up to me, "I can't wait to wake up so I can see you again."

I smiled and began singing the newer song I had created from her lullaby, wishing her sweet dreams tonight. As soon as I was certain she was asleep, I carefully removed myself from her bed and again switched off the light beside her.

I silently snuck out of the hospital and ran the whole way home allowing the battle of happiness and devastation to fight for control of my emotions. I was so overjoyed to have Bella back in my life, but the omnipresent fact of her fatality left me feeling completely haggard about our reunion.

I was beginning to think like Rosalie, considering the repercussions of changing Bella into a vampire, but I was too revolted with my own selfishness to continue thinking about it. Then all of a sudden I could actually hear Rosalie's thoughts from not too far away in the woods by our house. It wasn't like her to be out in the forest by herself so I decided to catch up with her and make sure she was alright. I found her sitting on a rock near the stream which flowed a mile away from our house marking the end of our property and the start of the many acres owned by the major developing company in town. In a few years, this area would be a subdivision, but we would be long gone by then and completely forgotten.

I marveled for a moment at her comfortable looking position. Vampires only sat out of habit, there was really no need for it. Being statue-like creatures, we could stand for literally years without moving or shifting our weight even once. I listened for a moment to Rosalie's thoughts before I made my presence known.

_What could this mean? There's no way we could just happen upon Bella again, after all this time. People don't just come back to life, they don't just die then be born again to another life. And she remembers us, she remembers Edward. Would she remember me? But poor Edward, he would be completely heartbroken if we lost her again, as if he wasn't heartbroken before. We can't just let her die, not again._

While eavesdropping on Rosalie's thoughts, I began to realize something, something that was not incredibly obvious. Rose may be conceited and exceedingly vain, traits that undoubtedly accompany indisputable beauty, but Rose could be caring and thoughtful about other people as well when called for. I felt a bit taken aback at this new insight into the mind of my sister. I had been reading her mind for more than a century, but I had never noticed that she could be so caring before.

It was this thought that spurred me to speak and finally alert her to my presence. "Rose, I think you would have been a great mother," I said gently.

"Thanks Edward," she replied with a quiet voice. Surprisingly Rose didn't jump or even flinch when I spoke. Vampires are not easily spooked, but I was a pro at creeping up so quietly that even a vampire wouldn't hear me approach if they were distracted enough, as Rose seemed to be.

"I heard you running," she explained, as if answering the unspoken question in my head, "I was wondering if you would try to sneak up on me, so better luck next time Edward," she laughed. "How long have you been standing there?" she asked.

"Not long," I replied as I dashed over to her place on the rock and took a seat next to her.

_How's Bella doing?_

"Okay for now," I said, answering the question in her head.

_Carlisle told us about the transplant, I'm so sorry Edward. What are your plans?_

"I was thinking about getting an internship at the hospital so that I could spend more time with her during the day, I'm sure Carlisle could pull some strings. He's good at pulling strings," I teased.

_Would it even be worth it? She doesn't have much time left, there has to be something we can do. I wish Edward would just change her._

I growled a little in response to her thoughts, and the sound bounced back menacingly off the stream water. Changing Bella was not something I could bring myself to do and Rosalie knew this very well. I refused to steal Bella's soul from her and transform her into a blood-drinking monster. Rosalie was the one who had wanted Bella to preserve her humanity all those years ago, and now she was the only one who kept thinking about changing her.

"I'm sorry Edward, it's just my thoughts. It's not like I'm going to act on them." _Although maybe Alice would_, she added inaudibly as she broke off a branch from a nearby tree and threw it across the stream, splitting it in half when it crashed into a boulder on the opposite side.

But at that remark I lost my control. "Rosalie!" I shouted. I stared at her horrified, I hadn't even thought of somebody else changing Bella behind my back. I quickly reassured myself that my family wouldn't do that, not to Bella. But still, the idea was not pleasant. "I thought you were the one who wanted Bella to appreciate what she had. You didn't want to change her, why now? Why do you want to change her now?"

_How do you know she doesn't want this? She wanted to be with you last time, but you left her. _"What if this is best for Bella?" she argued.

"Oh please, Rosalie. Do not feign that you care all of a sudden." It was rude and immature, but I said it anyway. I was angry, and Rose did not respond well to that sort of treatment.

_Excuse me?_ She thought, acidly and she leapt off the rock so that she was standing in front of me looking down into my eyes. "Look Edward, I'm sorry if I wasn't the most welcoming and friendly vampire sister Bella ever had. We can't all be Alice. But it's not like I don't care though, I know I screwed things up with Bella the first time, but I think fate's giving us a second chance Edward." _Don't you see? _She thought, a little more pleadingly, _We didn't do things right with Bella the first time, and now we have another opportunity. _

"So you think taking away Bella's soul and transforming her into a monster is doing things right?" I asked sarcastically and I stood up so that I was taller once again.

"You don't know that's true, Edward," she reprimanded, and I recognized the tinge of desperation in her voice, it was very like that of Esme's voice whenever she attempted to argue me on this belief.

"Well you don't know that Bella even wants to become one of us," I countered, though not truly placing any stock in that argument. Bella seemed to be the same in almost all respects, I doubted she would have a new point of view on the matter of becoming a vampire. If it were up to her, she would have been changed long ago.

"Don't even try that one," Rosalie scoffed. _You know she wants nothing more than to be with you forever, but all you ever do is deny her. You left her, Edward, all alone, and look what happened!_

And now that was a low blow. Rosalie was more than well aware of the guilt I felt over leaving Bella. I sat back down on the rock in resignation, "Rosalie, you know I had to do that to save her, to protect her. I could have killed her any day if I had stayed, it was too dangerous," I pleaded.

_Well good job protecting her Edward_ she thought sarcastically. Rosalie and I both perked up when we heard a noise, a soft rustle in the woods, definitely a vampire. Rosalie sniffed the air, and I heard the sound of approaching thoughts, we both realized it was Emmett in less than a moment's time and relaxed.

_I wonder if Rose will hunt with me. She's been out here for a while, she was so quiet today. I hope everything is alright. Oh Edward's been here recently, and Rose is close by. Maybe he ran into her on his way back from the hospital. I can't wait to see Bella tomorrow, for a whole week! A whole week of clumsiness if Edward doesn't hog her all to himself._

"Bella's staying for a whole week?" I asked as soon as Emmett joined our little group. My outlook on life improved significantly with that information. "How did Carlisle manage to pull that one off?"

"Oh you know Carlisle has such a way with the nurses," he laughed picturing Esme's irritated face as he took Rosalie's vacated seat next to me on the rock.

_Idiots_ thought Rosalie, just as annoyed with the female nurses as Esme.

"Rose you up for a little hunt?" asked Emmett, turning to face his wife with puppy dog eyes. I could hardly believe that Emmett was thirsty again. They had just returned from their hunting trip a few days ago.

"Sure Emmett," she smiled indulgently, "But please try not to ruin your clothes this time. We're not going after any angry grizzlies today so I think you should be able to keep your outfit intact."

_Uh uh, I'm never wearing this outfit again. _"But Rose, Alice is out shopping right now for new clothes for Bella, you know she's going to come back with clothes for everyone. And this outfit is ugly, I don't even know why it was in the "Acceptable" category," he whined, and I seized the opportunity to mock him.

"Aw come on Rose, Emmet's going to have quite a hard enough time getting the animals to stop laughing at his outfit long enough to hunt, the least you can do is let him destroy the thing."

"Oh shut up Edward, at least my clothes didn't go out of style half a century ago," he scowled, glaring at me.

"I'll have you know, my clothes are still highly fashionable in many places," I retorted sourly. However, at this statement both Emmett and Rosalie began laughing as if I had just told them the funniest joke they had heard in a century. Emmett's loud guffaws scared some mocking birds out of hole in a nearby tree and their chirping added to the ruckus my charming siblings were causing.

"Yeah, like in the Bible for instance," howled Emmett, finally able to speak. He was so amused that I could have punched him. So I did, right in the side. Then I took off and sprinted to the other side of the clearing.

Emmett of course charged me in response, so I stepped out of the way and tripped him at just the right angle so that he landed right where Rosalie would have been had she not flitted out of the way in time. _Jerk. _"You know Emmett, I'm pretty sure that even the people back in Biblical times had better fashion sense than Edward. Maybe I'll have Carlisle ask Aro or one of the other ancients, sometime," she laughed, distracting me as Emmett pounced on me before I could escape.

I deftly maneuvered myself free of Emmett's grasp and heard Rosalie's decision to help Emmett try to subdue me. I easily avoided her attack, but Emmett wasn't so lucky. She smacked into him with the sound of colliding boulders, and it was my turn to laugh. Emmett gave her a quick kiss and helped her up. The both bent down in hunting crouches and I had to admit they made a pretty intimidating team. "Just go hunt," I chuckled in surrender, "Emmett's eyes are blacker than the sky, did they have blood typing today in class or were you just hanging out next to a blood drive," I joked.

"At least they don't actually prick the students' fingers and use real blood anymore for those damn blood typing exercises," Emmett said very seriously as he straightened out of his attack position.

"Oh baby, Alice said you should skip the second half of the day, why didn't you listen?" Rose asked, concern coloring her perfect features.

"I don't know, I just thought I could handle it, and I did. I just didn't think it would be so difficult," he explained, ashamed of his weakness.

"Come on let's go find you an angry deer or something, before you attack a human," she smiled, and took his hand.

"You coming Ed?" he asked as they turned to leave.

"No that's alright, I just hunted yesterday and I need to go talk to Carlisle," I answered as I began running back to the house in the opposite direction.

"Oh Edward?" Rosalie called before they were out of earshot. I stopped and waited for whatever she had to say, "Do what you think is right," she commanded referring to the conversation we had been having before Emmett showed up, "But please consider the fact that fate might be giving us a second chance here. I'm not going to waste it, I'm going to make Bella feel like the sister she always was. Just, please don't you waste it, I doubt we'll get a third chance," she said stoically and she began running again with a mildly confused Emmett in tow.

I didn't answer but took off in the direction of the house once again. I knew Rose had good intentions and I was glad that she would make an effort to treat Bella better this time, but Rose knew nothing of fate. All Fate cared about was torturing a beautiful, innocent girl like Bella. Fate seemed to like watching her die so much, that she brought her back to life just to let her die once again. Fate was sadistic, that was a fact, and I was masochistic, another fact, so where did that leave Bella? I knew there was no way that Rose could be right about changing Bella, that would be the ultimate act of selfishness, keeping her around for eternity just for my own happiness. _But what about Bella's happiness?_ The thought crossed my mind quickly as if mocking me. I wanted nothing more than Bella's complete happiness so I thought long and hard about that one while I was running back to the house.

Maybe I didn't know what was best for Bella after all. As Rose so harshly pointed out, I had been wrong once before.


	10. Vacation Home

**A/N Hello readers! You've made it to chapter ten, so what are you going to do now? Go to Disney World? No! You're going to Twilight World! (trust me it's so much better). A humungous thanks goes out to everyone who read and reviewed this story, you mean the world to me. (The Twilight World that is—it's so much better than the real one too).**

**Disclaimer: Would you believe me if I told you that I was actually Stephanie Meyer pretending to be a fanfiction author for my own enjoyment? If so, you would be a sucker, because alas I am not. That means I did not invent these characters or the Twilight World, so I will gain nothing by publishing my little story here, but I'm ok with that.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter anyway!! ******

Chapter 10- EPOV

I didn't slow down as I passed the large oak tree near the garage. I sprinted through the front door after hardly pausing to open it and flew up the stairs finally coming to a stop outside Carlisle's office on the second floor. I knocked quietly, yet swiftly on the old cedar door and waited though I could hear Carlisle's thoughts from the other side with perfect clarity.

He of course knew it was me. _Aw, a bit antsy are we Edward? I suppose that means he knows about our plans for tomorrow. _

I could no longer wait for an invitation to enter. I nearly threw the door off the hinges when I opened it and Carlisle amusedly stared at me. "Come in?" he chuckled, making the command a question.

"Tomorrow?" I asked, pure excitement filling me to the brink. "She's coming tomorrow? But how? How did you convince them to allow her a home visit with us?"

"Oh I have my ways," he said mysteriously. _And it helps that I'm the best doctor they have. Hundreds of years of experience as a doctor has to come with a few perks._

"Alice, Japser, and Esme are out shopping," he continued out loud. "We haven't had a human over to visit in years, so most likely they're buying food. Alice will most certainly pick out new outfits for everyone in the family, and several for Bella, I'm not entirely sure of what clothes Bella has anyway. Esme mentioned something about picking up a bed, we obviously don't want Bella to have to sleep on the couch," he laughed lovingly as he pictured his beautiful wife, completely in her element: picking out home furnishings in order to care for her children.

I noted that in Carlisle's mind, he referred to Bella as just another one of his children, no different from myself. I wasn't sure what to make of that. I obviously wanted her to stay forever, but I didn't think that was possible. Carlisle was getting too far ahead of himself, and apparently so was the rest of my family.

"So what's the plan?" I asked, trying to distract myself from the horrible thoughts of Bella leaving. I was good at burying thoughts in my head, half a century of practice had allowed me to nearly perfect the art. But it was still there, I could feel it. I couldn't bear to lose her again, but could I change her? Could I take her perfect soul and keep her bound to me forever? The inherent selfishness in such an act made me sick, so sick in my mind that I could almost feel it in my stomach.

"The plan is," Carlisle began, aiding me in my attempt to escape my thoughts, "You, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie are going to go to school tomorrow like usual," he said this in his most authoritative father voice. I didn't like the sound of that. Why did I have to waste time going to school when I should be spending time with Bella? It was ridiculous, but I decided not to argue, for now at least. If Carlisle cared enough to use this tone, then it would be disrespectful to contradict him. I silently waited for him to continue, allowing the chagrin to show on my face.

"Esme and I are going to bring Bella home midmorning tomorrow," he said smiling. _I appreciate your willingness to comply,_ he complimented. I simply shrugged and tried a bit harder to mask the unhappiness I felt about this plan. "We'll get her all set up, give her some lunch, try and help her to feel comfortable. Then we can introduce her to the rest of the family when you guys get home from school," he finished, proud of his carefully laid plan.

"Just to clarify," I spoke, letting a bit of sarcasm ice my tone, "You expect me to spend seven hours trapped in the purgatory known as Glen Ellyn Hills High School while you and Esme get to go gallivanting off to the hospital to pick up the love of my life and spend the day with her?" The idea was completely absurd to me. How could my dear level headed father be so concerned with keeping up appearances in a high school of all places when I could have the opportunity to spend a little extra precious time with my love?

_Yes that was the plan, and Esme and I could spend some time with her and…_

I cut off his thoughts, "Carlisle, I think we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one, because there is no way in Hell that I am going to school tomorrow," I stated with an air of decisiveness.

_So stubborn,_ "Well it was worth a shot," he laughed. _One should never bet against Alice, or Esme for that matter_. "I suppose you want me to excuse you for the rest of the week as well?" _I'll probably have to have him removed permanently, because there is no way he has enough sick days left to last him a whole week._

I smiled now, relieved that Carlisle had returned to his reasonable self. "So when should I be expecting Alice, Esme, and Jasper to return?" I asked conversationally.

"I'm not entirely certain," Carlisle admitted, "All those 24 hour stores make predicting estimated times of arrival rather impossible." _They left around seven fifteen if that helps._ He added, but it really didn't help at all. With Alice, a shopping trip could last minutes or hours, she was very organized with her shopping needs, but visions were very common during her shopping trips. In fact if I didn't see them myself, I wouldn't believe she could have so many while shopping. It was almost like having a fitting room in her head. She could instantly see if anyone in our family would need a certain item or in her opinion look good in a certain item before she purchased it.

Esme on the other hand could spend hours selecting exactly the right item to furnish a room. She had a wonderful eye for the details and every room she decorated was truly a work of art. I was certain she would thoroughly enjoy searching for the perfect bed and comforter set for Bella. Most likely she would pick out one of the newer foam technology beds like the rest of my siblings enjoyed for their _activities_. I cringed from thinking of their activities, but a new thought occurred to me, I looked to Carlisle, readying myself for the question.

Carlisle had returned to his luxurious chair behind the heavy antique desk. He was busy skimming through some documents on his flat screen desktop computer, writing in numbers with his ornate stylus. I admired the technology for a moment, it was top of the line and rather advanced. The screen lay horizontally within the build of the desk and it looked like Carlisle was writing on paper rather than a sleek computer screen. The steady stream of calculations and Chinese in his head made me realize he was filling out tax worksheets for properties we owned in Asia. It was laughable to think that people actually used to have to fill these out on paper. "Carlisle?" I asked, hardly distracting him from his calculations. "We don't have a guest room at this house."

"Keen observation, son," he teased, still mostly focused on his calculations, the language in his head switching from Mandarin to Cantonese.

"Yes, but where will Bella sleep?" I asked, allowing my eyes to trail away from the large painting decorating the wall behind his desk, to meet his golden ones, which were eyeing me humorously, all thoughts of Chinese taxes forgotten.

"Well one of the _bed_rooms in this house, is lacking a bed," he said lightly, stressing the "bed" in bedrooms. "I thought we would put her in your room?" he looked at me curiously now, _assuming that's alright with you, of course. If not, I'm sure Alice would be glad to allow her use of her room, Jasper probably wouldn't mind too much either, oh and obviously Bella would be welcome to use Esme's and my room._ Carlisle's thoughts were traveling a mile a minute, and my eyes had refocused on the painting behind his chair. I remembered telling Bella about the ancient vampire family pictured in the frame which Carlisle had spent time with in Italy. It was the same family I had wanted to seek out after Bella died so that they might end my life as well, and free myself of my misery. For the very first time, I was actually glad that I hadn't gone to them after all; I might not have ever seen Bella again. I forced my attention back to Carlisle's thoughts and halted him before he could get too carried away making contingency plans for Bella's bed.

"Carlisle, don't be ridiculous. Of course she will be staying in my room, it isn't as if I'll need to sleep there," I laughed, and Carlisle relaxed. _I know you like to be near her when she sleeps, I simply thought…_

"No, do not misunderstand me, you thought correctly. I would love nothing more than to share my room with Bella. The thought just hadn't occurred to me yet," I laughed at my own stupidity, and Carlisle joined in.

"Oh my son, you are such a product of your era. There's not a soul on this green earth more honorable than you."

At that moment, I heard the thoughts of Alice, Jasper, and Esme coupled with the sound of Esme's Porsche SUV turning off the main road and onto the small dirt one which lead to our property. The vehicle, though called a "Sports Utility Vehicle" was really anything but. Similar to the late Porsche Cayenne it was designed with a large trunk area, suitable for hauling a broken down bed and impossibly folded foam mattress. The new Porsche Chilena was equipped with all the new blue tooth technology and an automated brake which engaged if the radar sensors on the front of the vehicle picked up an object closing in with the front bumper too quickly.

The occupants of the vehicle were all in decidedly good moods, and I couldn't help but smile at the reason. They were overjoyed to have Bella with us again, to bring her into our home. Esme had long forgotten the initial hesitancy she had felt about Bella's return and Alice was practically bouncing off the seat, imagining the lovely new outfits she had carefully selected for Bella and the rest of my family. Jasper had no choice but to be happy himself, surrounded by current company. Even Carlisle was smiling in his comfortably sizeable office. _Sounds like Esme is home early enough for us to leave for the 4 a.m. shift if we head out in a few minutes, how wonderful! That means we can bring Bella home around 9:30. I'm sure we can leave the kids alone to set up Bella's bed and new belongings in Edward's room. _

Jasper parked the car just outside the front door, then leapt out with Alice in tow to begin emptying the trunk. Alice easily picked up the large box housing the bed frame and tore up the stairs at lightening speed. I ran up the second flight of stairs to my third floor room and met Alice in my room as she deposited the bed frame. _Get to work, loverboy,_ she teased, and I was too content to gripe about the nickname. Moments later she returned laden with garment bags and shoe boxes. Behind her came Jasper who was carrying the now unfolded mattress to place on the frame which I had halfway assembled already.

The finished product was beautiful and after Esme had found places in the hardly used kitchen for all the human food they had purchased, she zoomed up the stairs herself to evaluate. _Perfect_, she thought, satisfied with the golden comforter and rod iron frame she had selected to complement the soft colors of my room. I couldn't have agreed more, so I encircled her in a grateful hug which Alice copied when I had finished.

"Thank you Esme, I know she'll love it." Alice said, stealing the words out of my own head.

Carlisle entered at the opportune moment and stole her for a hug of his own. "It's beautiful dear," he grinned contentedly, "Would you be ready to leave for work in about five minutes?" he asked, without a trace of teasing.

"I'll be ready in four," she laughed, stroking her husband's chest lovingly.

"Actually it will be three minutes and eighteen seconds, if you leave in three, two, one—now!" Alice chirped merrily. Esme dashed out of the room and we were all left laughing.

"Edward, meet us at the hospital at 9:00 a.m., but no earlier. Alright?" _You can come straight to my office and we'll head over to the cancer ward together, oh and don't bring your car,_ Carlisle thought as he ran out the room and down the stairs to wait in the Chilena for Esme.

"Nine a.m.," I reaffirmed happily, knowing those five hours wouldn't pass soon enough.

I sat on my bed and lazily watched Alice the tornado twirl in and out of my closet rearranging, I supposed. She was carrying clothes and garment bags back and forth but I didn't bother trying to keep up. Instead I let my mind travel back in time to the few precious months I had gotten with Bella over half a century ago. This next week would grant me more than I ever could have dreamt of asking out of life, Bella would be here and my family would again be complete. The feeling in my chest was something similar to butterflies, or some sort of light pulsating pressure. It almost felt like a heart beat, and I smiled thinking about how Bella made my dead heart feel so alive.

It was nothing short of a miracle that I had survived those fifty years without her and I tried to block the thoughts of what might happen after this week. I had lost her once, but I couldn't do it again. I knew it was impossible, and I was rather certain that I couldn't take Bella's soul from her and prevent her from ever entering the heaven where she belongs. But why had she not entered Heaven before? Perhaps there was a reason she was sent back to this earth, something other than my own torture. But it couldn't be my own happiness, could it? I hated myself for thinking that way and I banished the selfish, egotistical thoughts from my head. I would be better for Bella.

Finally Alice seemed to be content with her work in my closet and she made for the door carrying a large pile of what seemed to be my clothes. "Uh Alice?" I halted her, before she could get too far, "What do you think you're doing with my clothes?" I asked scathingly. I hoped she realized my tone was intended to say "Drop the clothes, now!"

"These are no longer your clothes Edward," she argued, walking at a human pace down the stairs as I followed. "These clothes belong in the 2020's and I will not have my brother wearing them one day longer, especially if he is going to be spending any time with my recently returned sister!" _Bella probably already thinks you have the most horrible taste in clothes, this stops now. You are my brother, and you will look like it from now on. _

"I highly doubt that Bella cares very much about what I wear, and I hope you don't make her too uncomfortable with the clothing you picked out for her," I warned.

"Oh Edward, I wouldn't dream of making her uncomfortable. And whether she cares or not, you will look presentable." _Now stop complaining, and toss me that outfit when you've changed out of it_, she commanded with her thoughts.

I turned on my heel and obliged, trying to suppress the half amused, half annoyed look I would have loved to give her.

Rosalie and Emmett returned to the house around 6:45. They swiftly ran upstairs to change and settled themselves on one of the cozy new chairs in the front room, Emmett perched on the arm rest while Rose nestled against him from the actual seat cushion. Emmett was of course thrilled to see Bella again, I hadn't even mentioned to him that she still remembered him. Even Rose was glad she would have a chance to make things right with Bella. I allowed a half smile to cover my face as I listened to their content thoughts from my piano bench. I was busy perfecting the revised lullaby I had created for Bella, trying to keep myself from leaping out of the house and sprinting to the hospital faster than Jasper could beat Emmett at World Domination 3.

Alice informed the rest of my siblings that I would not be joining them at school for today, and quite possibly the remainder of the year. Nobody was surprised with my decision to withdraw and they neatly packed into Rose's BMW before heading off to school.

The final hour before I could race to the hospital was spent pacing the living room, then the house, then the front yard, and finally I couldn't take it anymore and I took off in the direction of the hospital, running at my fastest capacity. Unfortunately I made it to the hospital at 8:36 so I decided to wait for Carlisle outside his office.

I was greeted by the inescapable Maureen Lancaster as I sat down in the row of maroon chairs between the nurse's station and Carlisle's office. I knew it would draw more attention to me if I remained standing the entire time so I carefully slid into one of the seats and waited for the minute hand on the old-fashioned decorative clock on the opposite wall to reach the twelve up top. It seemed like such a long journey for a slow moving creature such as the minute hand, and I stared at the skinny rod willing it to pick up the pace.

Ms. Lancaster very unprofessionally made her way over and took the seat next to mine, allowing her eyes to follow the path mine were making across the wide hallway to the clock on the other side.

_Wow, can he actually read one of those things? Or is he simply staring at it, I never did understand why there are so many pointers on that old clock. What a novelty, I remember when Dr. Cullen first insisted we hang it up, it's probably worth quite the pretty penny though. _

I determinedly kept my eyes glued to the clock face, not allowing myself to roll them as I desired to. Did she really find it that difficult to read the time off one of these old fashioned clocks? The standards for nursing staff at a hospital had certainly fallen significantly in the past few decades.

"Hey sugar, you here to see Dr. Cullen?" _or just me?_ She asked hopefully.

"Yes ma'am," I answered shortly, not bothering to dazzle her today. I had more important things on my mind.

However, she was not discouraged. "Would you like me to keep you company while we wait for him to finish up with his video consultation?" _I could give you a back rub while we wait, or you could give me one._

"I should like nothing less," I replied once again with a short tone, unable to bring myself to regret my rudeness. This woman was simply too annoying.

"Well, I never…" she scoffed as she got up angrily and stalked back over to the nurse's station where she belonged.

It was that moment that Carlisle decided to make his appearance. "Edward I believe I mentioned not to arrive before nine a.m.," _And what did you do to Maureen, she looks mortified._

"Well, I never…" I expertly imitated the nurse in question, but she was too busy wallowing in self absorption to notice. I was hopelessly giddy as I stood and began walking in the direction of the cancer ward with my father. In a matter of minutes I would see her again, then after that I would take her home for a whole week! _Bella, Bella, my Bella._ It was all I could think about.

Finally we were outside her room, but I hesitated to knock. There were two nurses inside, and to my horror, they were drawing blood. Not wanting to find out if I could still resist the tempting aroma of her exposed blood first hand, I waited and Carlisle smiled at me knowingly. He didn't seem phased at all, I envied his control. We waited for the nurses to exit the room and Esme met us in the hall.

"Sorry about that," she motioned with her arm toward the too thin door which was supposed to keep me from stealing Bella's blood. "They were supposed to have all the tests done by 8:00 this morning. I told Bella about the plan a little while ago, she seemed very pleased and excited, if I may say so myself." _It will be simply wonderful having our family whole once again, having Bella back in our lives. I just wish…_ she cut off, looking at me sadly.

I heard Dr. Minor and Augusta approaching from down the hall, and I tried to keep from growling. Though Augusta wouldn't admit it, she was very worried that this activity out of the hospital will be detrimental to Bella's heart which would hurt Christy. Dr. Minor on the other hand, was simply thrilled. He couldn't be happier that Bella would have a chance to spend some time outside of the hospital, and he had full faith that she would be well taken care of.

I supposed Dr. Minor wasn't really too bad, he did seem to care about Bella, more so than her legal guardian, the hospital social worker Augusta Christianson. I smiled warmly at him as he came to a halt in front of our trio and I all but glared at his companion with her apprehensive expression and thoughts.

"Good Morning Dr. Cullen," Dr. Minor greeted him enthusiastically. "Esme, always a pleasure, and I don't believe I've me your son, Edward is it?" he asked eyeing Carlisle questioningly. _There's obviously no family resemblance since he was adopted, but the skin color and the eyes are unique, how strange that they match when they're not even related._

Carlisle responded jovially. "Right you are Dr. Minor, this is my brilliant son Edward. And Augusta, I hope your morning is going smoothly," he said as he turned to face her full on. Her heart seemed to skip a beat and her breathing became ragged, _Oh he is gorgeous, oh if only I weren't married,_ she thought regretfully. This woman was always able to get on my very last nerve.

Luckily, the door opened and the two nurses exited the room carrying their computerized clipboards. The five of us entered and examined the exhausted looking Bella who lay quietly on her bed. As soon as we made eye contact her eyes lit up. "Edward," she breathed in a voice too quiet for the humans in the room.

"I'm here love," I responded immediately as I made my way over to her bedside and grabbed one of her frail hands in mine. I immediately began to doubt our plan to bust her out of the hospital. She looked too fragile and her face was even paler than usual.

"I'm sorry," she sighed, "I just hate the smell of blood," she admitted, embarrassed. I laughed out loud at that remark as I remembered her fainting in biology. Carlisle and Esme stared at me, completely shocked. They were both worried about Bella too, unsure if we were making a wise decision. Dr. Minor and Augusta had only confusion in their thoughts. Bella's and my close proximity reminded them that they didn't really understand why we had taken such a quick liking to Bella, insisting that she be released on a home visit to our house.

"Most humans can't smell blood," I reminded her.

"I can," she maintained, "It smells like rust and sea salt.

"You are simply amazing, do you know that?" I chuckled and her face brightened significantly when a blush began to fill her features. Carlisle and Esme relaxed marginally as the blood lent color to her face, but Dr. Minor and Augusta were still a bit confused with the whole scene.

Dr. Minor ignored his confusion out of determination to be happy for Bella, Rachel to him. He began discussing logistics with Carlisle, and I took the opportunity to see how Bella felt about the upcoming week.

"So Miss Meyer," I drew her attention away from the doctor talk, "What sort of things would you like to do this week?"

She blushed and looked down, allowing the hair to cover her face. "I don't know, anything you'd like I suppose," she replied softly.

"Well I would certainly enjoy anything that meant I could spend time with you," I admitted with a grin, knowing too well that her answering blush would be beautiful.

"I feel the same," she whispered, and I let the half grin on my face turn into a full blown joyous smile.

Finally Esme pushed a wheel chair to the side of Bella's bed and I helped her into it. She was wearing an adorable pair of pajama pants with cartoon characters all over them. It reminded me that she was still hardly more than a most innocent child, a mere sixteen years on this earth. This time around at least.

Dr. Minor and Augusta followed us to the edge of the cancer ward before bidding us and "Rachel" goodbye. We cleared all the hospital security and the automated, voice activated parking manager in the employee lot. I helped Bella into the seat behind Esme's and pressed the button on the wheelchair so that it folded up into a manageable size before I slid it into the trunk of the car. Carlisle held Bella's one bag and he placed it carefully in the trunk along with the wheelchair.

I felt so content that I could have been singing. I laced my fingers with Bella's during our drive and we arrived in no time at all. Bella's eyes lit up as she took in the site of the house. I had to admit, it really was a beauty, but its appeal had nothing on Bella. I unbuckled her and lifted her onto my lap so that I could bury my face in her strawberry scented hair.

She insisted that the wheelchair was completely unnecessary and refused to use it while we toured the house with Carlisle and Esme following us silently as they had been the whole ride home. They were almost as much in love with Bella as I was, they wanted her to be happy so much that it hurt, and I loved them all the more for their unconditional love toward Bella.

I led Bella around the house keeping her fingers firmly laced with mine. She looked around curiously and slowly, trying to drink in all the details of the house. She was positively radiant, and her excitement was tangible.

"Welcome home," I whispered, pulling her close to me so I could gently kiss her warm lips. I smiled contentedly as I listened to her heart rate explode inside of her small chest. This was the scene from Alice's vision two nights ago, and it was so much better in person.


	11. Dazzling Truth

**A/N Hello again readers! Hope you are enjoying the story so far! (Feel free to review or message me even if you hate it, I haven't had any hate mail before, but that would be interesting). Has everybody read **_**Edward's Eclipse**_** and **_**Eternity Dawning**_** by PoweredbyStarlight? Those are the first fanfics I ever read, and if you like reading Twilight from Edward's POV you will love them!**

**Disclaimer: Obviously you can all tell by now that I am not Stephanie Meyer, I'm not earning anything by posting this and I only wanted to share my love of twisting a great story with the world of fanfiction. **

Chapter 11- EPOV

The kiss was like our first kiss all over again, only I was prepared this time. I felt confident that I would be able to control my demon desire to harm her and I held her arms tightly by her sides so that she wouldn't be able to reach up and try to take charge of the kiss as she had before. Unfortunately her accelerated heart rate caused her to faint. This was also not completely unexpected so I was more than ready to catch her before she could fall.

To make matters worse I heard Esme's alarmed thoughts behind me before she voiced her distress out loud. "Bella! Bella honey!" she shouted, bringing the whole episode to Carlisle's attention who flitted to our sides in half a second.

_Oh my,_ he thought anxiously, _Edward what happened?_

Bella's eyes slowly opened in response to Esme's pleas and her face colored beautifully but heavily as she took in her surroundings, I was holding her bridal style with Carlisle and Esme hovering in her face. I heard both Carlisle's and Esme's thoughts and sighs of relief as I placed Bella back on her feet.

"Um, Edward honey, please, what happened?" asked Esme with concern filling her every thought and feature. Carlisle's face and mind held the same sentiments though he was busy trying to relate spontaneous fainting to her illness.

I completely ignored them, but addressed Bella, whose face had become impossibly redder with Esme's question. "I suppose I shouldn't do that again," I stated with all the fake seriousness I could muster.

"No!" she exclaimed without thinking and her embarrassment only grew, to my amusement. "I mean, there's no need to take drastic measures. Just perhaps a bit of warning next time would suffice," she finished, allowing her long dark hair to fall forward, covering her beautiful red face. Carlisle and Esme were beyond the point of confusion. They were trying to figure out what I had done to Bella and they were impatiently waiting for me to tell them what on Earth was going on. I decided to show them, rather than force Bella to explain the situation.

I gently placed two fingers under her chin, and carefully lifted her chin so that she was staring at me in the eye. "Bella," I said, allowing a crooked half smile to distort my face. Her heart rate began picking up again and her eyes became unfocused. "I'm going to kiss you again, please do not pass out this time. I don't want to worry Carlisle and Esme any further." Carlisle and Esme immediately understood and politely stifled their laughs so that Bella wouldn't hear them as they snuck away. I held her beautiful heart shaped face in my hands ever so gently, keeping in mind that she was incredibly breakable. I swooped in for a quick kiss that would hopefully keep her on her feet this time.

After showing Bella around the majority of the first floor with stops in the living room, kitchen, and Jasper's library, there was only one room left on the first floor, the sizeable family room/ dining room. Esme and Carlisle had vanished again to continue making Bella an early lunch and I reveled in the time we had alone. We had been standing outside the family room/dining room during our kiss, but now I held the door and let Bella stroll into the large room before me, immediately she gasped.

Before I could panic, I searched out the item that had elicited the gasp. I felt cleverly obtuse when I realized that she probably remembered the enormous old piano standing before her. It was the very one I had played for her fifty three years ago.

"Your piano," she whispered, completely frozen in place.

I smiled and let my fingers lightly trail up and down the arm I still had clutched in mine until I once again reached her hand. I enjoyed the tingly sensation that accompanied any physical contact we made, but I worried that I might be making her too cold when I saw the trail of goose bumps that followed my fingertips down her arm. I intertwined our fingers playfully, but she just stared at the motions my hand made in what seemed to be amazement. "Would you like me to play for you?" I finally asked in a quiet tone, wary of disrupting her thoughts.

Her strong gaze steadily made its way up to meet my eyes and held me for an indiscernible amount of time. I watched as her pupils began to dilate ever so slightly and I heard her heart beat begin to pick up speed once again. I began to wonder if she was finally beginning to feel the fear that had evaded her for so long already. Then to my utter shock and horror, a tear bubbled over the side of her right eye and trailed down her face.

I dropped her hand so as not to frighten her any more and took a step back to give her some space. "Bella what's wrong?" I begged. What I wouldn't have given to hear her thoughts at that moment.

She said nothing, but closed the gap between us and wrapped her arms around me in a soft embrace. Confused, I lightly kissed the top of her head and all but buried my face in the lovely strawberry scent of her shampoo. I inhaled contentedly until she released me and allowed her curiously tear filled eyes to meet mine.

"I would love that," she finally whispered in an emotional voice. So I lead her over to the piano bench so that she could sit beside me as I played.

I played first the lullaby which she had inspired once upon a time. It morphed easily into the livelier tune I had rewritten since meeting her again and she smiled a teary smile at the new upbeat song. Afterward I played the song I had written for Esme more than a century ago and I finished with _Claire De Lune_, a beautiful and ethereal piece from Debussy's Suite Bergamasque. It was a song that I had loved since my early teens when I had first heard it performed at a concert in downtown Chicago, before the Spanish influenza hit, and before I believed in vampires. It was also a song that I knew Bella enjoyed immensely when she was human the first time. I wondered if she would know it now.

Her eyes lit up as I played and I chuckled inaudibly in response. "Do you know this song?" I asked, my voice barely above the rising and falling whispers of the music.

"I don't know," she responded, her eyes following my fingers. "Did you write this one as well?"

"No, this one was written by Claude Debussy. This suite first came out around the time I was born believe it or not," I explained as the song came to a close, "It was part of a suite which first made Debussy so popular."

"Tell me about how we first met," she commanded, startling me from my history lesson. I heard Carlisle chuckle quietly from the kitchen in response to her request. "I want to know about my previous life. All I have are dreams and some vague memories that I'm not even positive are real. I just want to hear about us." She looked at me expectantly, and I found there was no way I could deny her.

"Where to begin," I stalled, not completely disposed to telling her about how I almost brought about her death the first time I saw her. "You were the most intriguing person I had ever met, and still are, even to this day I can't figure you out," I admitted.

"I met you at Forks High School, a trivial school in a small and remarkably rainy town in Forks, Washington. You were the new girl in town and I had seen you in the unoriginal minds of the student body the whole day before I first laid my own eyes on you, in the cafeteria of all places. It was the fact that I couldn't read your mind that first captured my interest, but when you were in closer proximity there was something else that dominated my mind, something powerful and horrible," I explained more slowly, ashamed.

"My blood," she stated, matter-of-factly, "You wanted my blood for some reason?"

I nodded grimly and continued my story, "It took everything I had not to kill you right there in a classroom full of children. I would have of course killed all of them as well, no witnesses you see. It would have been easy. But I didn't want to be a monster, so I left as soon as school was over that day. I ran away until I finally convinced myself that I was being weak by running away from my fears. When I first came back, I was completely arrogant, I couldn't fathom a simple human girl having such a powerful effect on me. When I returned to school a few days later I decided to be nice to you so you would think I was normal," I paused as I neared the best part of the story, the part where I realized I was in love. "The little conversations we had completely enthralled me though, I couldn't get enough, and I began to realize that you were so much more than a simple human girl." Bella was listening intently, completely focused on every word I said, I could almost see the pictures playing out in her head as she listened.

"Long story short, it wasn't long at all before I fell in love. And then you almost got yourself killed a number of times, so I had to reveal some of my abilities to you in order to save you. You of course didn't even care that I was a vampire when you figured it out." I stopped abruptly, lost in my own thoughts, "But you have to understand how huge that was for me, falling in love. I had been roaming the planet for over one hundred years, resigned to thinking that I could actually survive without the love I had with you. And I was so wrong."

"Have," she corrected quietly. "The love you have." I smiled at her with my stupid half smile and her eyes glazed over, dazzled at that moment as much as I was.

"Have you always been able to do this to me?" she asked ambiguously.

I continued to smile, "Do what?"

"Dazzle me?"

"You haven't seen anything yet," I joked as I offered her my hand and stood up, "Let's go see what Esme and Carlisle have cooking in the kitchen."

"But—," she began to protest. I could just see the questions in her eyes.

"Bella, you'll be staying here for a whole week. You have an abundant amount of time to find out about your past, you'll have all the opportunity in the world to squeeze the gory details from myself and family. For now let's enjoy the present and get you something to eat." She agreed reluctantly and followed me into the kitchen with our hands still locked together comfortably.

The lunch that Esme and Carlisle had concocted for Bella was some sort of pasta or fettuccini dish and it smelled positively atrocious. Bella was exceedingly grateful though, thanking Esme and Carlisle after almost every bite. I was relieved to see that she actually seemed to be enjoying the foul smelling mush so I had to assume that it was at least better than the hospital food, and she was so thin, I was glad she might have the opportunity to put a little more meat on her bones as the saying goes.

After lunch I finally got around to showing her the rest of the house. We spent a considerable amount of time in my room, which for the next week would be hers as well. She loved the bed and at one point looked as if she wanted to ask why a house full of vampires who cannot sleep has so many beds, luckily she thought better of the idea.

I was surprised that she actually recognized some of the music CDs I had around my room. The CDs interested her immensely and the functioning CD player thrilled her even more. I laughed as she tried to figure out how to work it.

I only kept the CDs for sentimental value and the spiteful part of me enjoyed annoying Alice. I had every song from every CD saved onto my computer, but Alice hated that I kept such old things around. Watching Bella play with the antiques was certainly amusing, but a slow realization began to plant itself in my head. It was long past time for me to let go of the past. It was time to get rid of all the old CDs I had laying around like Alice had gotten rid of the clothes yesterday.

Though I couldn't sleep, I felt like Rip VanWinkle, because to the world I had been asleep for the past fifty years. Bella's return into my life had woken me up again, and there was no going back. I had to get rid of the past and all of its memories, because it was time to embrace the future.

I just wished that I could find a way to have Bella in that future. I could only think of one solution and I hated myself for even considering it. But maybe Rosalie was right, maybe changing Bella into a vampire was in fact the best thing for her, who was I to deny her?

Bella lay sleeping on my couch with her head on my shoulder as I contemplated her future and whether I could damn her to an eternity on this planet. A little before three o'clock I heard the sound of Rosalie's car turning onto our private drive. The excitement rolling out of that car was almost tangible, and it served to increase my own excitement about the upcoming reunion.

"Are you ready to meet the rest of my family?" I asked Bella after I roused her from her nap.

"Are they here already?" she asked sleepily as she sat up.

I nodded and she looked nervous. "Come on love, no need to worry. They already love you." I said as I rubbed her warm shoulder with my deathly cold hands. My attempt to comfort her and calm her completely unnecessary uneasiness was useless however. She remained nervous beyond reason as I lead her out of my room and down the two flights of stairs.

We made it downstairs approximately two and a half seconds before Alice came dancing through the door leading the way for the others. Alice the whirlwind stopped short as soon as the rest of my family made it into the front entryway. The smile on her face was exultant, but her mind was completely blank. It was as if the joy she was feeling had completely taken over her mind and blocked out every other thought.

I was holding Bella's hand on one side and Esme had moved in to stand on Bella's other side, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I can't believe it's really you," Alice said emotionally, her happiness radiating off of her in every direction. Finally her thoughts exploded in her head, and in mine. _Oh she looks exactly the same, just a little younger, maybe a little tired and thinner. I'm so happy right now, the whole family is together again. Who would have thought we would get a second change? My best friend, my sister… oh and just look at Edward. I haven't seen him smile like that in half a century. _

I looked into Bella's face expecting to see nerves or confusion, but the smile on Bella's face matched that of Alice's when I released her arm so that she could walk across the room and embrace Alice. "You don't know how wonderful it is to meet you again Alice," Bella said just as emotionally. Alice was beaming at the mention of her name. "We were good friends, weren't we?" Bella asked innocently.

"Like sisters," Alice said easily, and they embraced again.

Next was Emmett. He picked Bella up in a bear hug and swung her around in a circle. _Bella's back! And she smells exactly the same! _"You're back! And you smell exactly the same! ... if I may say so myself," he laughed heartily as he placed her back on the floor.

"It's nice to see you again too Emmett," she laughed and his golden eyes bulged.

"You remember me too?" he asked, stunned.

"Of course I do silly, it's hard to forget someone who greets you by nearly breaking your ribs!" she teased, and my eyes narrowed. I thought he was gripping her too tightly, I'd have to have a talk with him about that.

Rosalie was in the line next. The smile on her face was timid, almost apologetic. It was unquestionably a rare find on my usually proud sister's face. "Hi Bella," she said shyly. "I don't know if you remember me, I wasn't the most—friendly of vampires in the world when we last met. I want to apologize up front and let you know that I will be much more accepting this time. Second chances are hard to come by, and I don't plan to waste this one." _Even if Edward insists on wasting it._ She finished her thought and let her eyes bore into mine as if daring me to disagree with her.

Bella answered most graciously, but it would be foolish to expect anything less from her. "I'm sure you were only concerned for your family if you had previous reservations about me. It's a pleasure to meet you again Rosalie. I'm glad we'll have a chance to be friends this time."

Rosalie received a forgiving hug from Bella and she lightly wrapped her arms around her in response. _Wow, I can't believe she even remembered me! How is any of this possible? Bella is really back… and Edward's just going to let her go,_ she thought sourly as Bella stepped away.

"Rosalie," I glared at her, "Please just stop."

She glared right back until Jasper stepped forward to make his introduction. He was exuding an air of calmness to everyone in the room, especially Bella, but it really wasn't necessary. Bella was perfectly fine. Jasper was the only nervous being within a mile radius. "Bella," he began, even more timidly than Rosalie.

Jasper was still feeling guilty about trying to attack Bella on her birthday all those years ago. He was keeping his distance now because he didn't want to frighten her. "It is such a blessing to have you back in all of our lives. This household was simply incomplete and unbearably cheerless after we lost you, I just can't even say how—"

Bella cut him off before he could finish. "Jasper, I'm not sure what happened all those years ago, when we were separated. But I know that it was nobody's fault. Don't blame yourself for things that were out of your control."

Jasper simply stared at her, mouth gaping in awe. _How does she even know? _Then in a most uncharacteristic move on Jasper's part, he closed the distance between them and embraced Bella in an appreciative hug. "You are such a joy," he stage whispered in her ear before releasing her. The answering blush which colored her face was tempting and I was glad that Jasper had moved away before he noticed it. Sometimes I still didn't completely trust his restraint.

"So did Edward show you all the clothes that you'll be wearing?" asked Alice suddenly, breaking the mood of emotional bonding which filled the room, much to Emmett's relief. "I picked them out for you last night," she continued, "I know you'll like them."

"And how do you know all of that Ms. Omniscient?" Bella asked coyly, trying to hide the surprise which all too plainly showed in her features. I knew she hated surprises and she hated when people bought her things, but she also didn't want to seem ungrateful.

"Because I'm a psychic," Alice responded without a second thought.

"Oh," Bella stated plainly. The surprise on her face had only increased, and once again I craved insight into what she was thinking.

"Well, come on upstairs. We'll get you some new clothes on, I'm sure you're dying to get out of your hospital pajamas." Alice trilled in her bird voice. _Mr. Edward the gentleman should have handled that, s_he thought wryly as she threw one last glance at me then made her way to the stairs with Bella in tow.

I felt a little guilty about not offering Bella a change of clothes sooner, but I was sure Bella would not exactly be thrilled with the idea of a whole new wardrobe at somebody else's expense. I kept my mouth shut though as Alice whisked my love away, up the stairs to our room. Alice was blissful about the whole idea. She loved taking care of Bella, and I supposed I didn't mind that too much.

Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper were still standing, completely speechless in the front entryway. Their thoughts were not so silent though.

_How does she remember so much? How is it possible that she is back? And does she truly understand what almost happened all those years ago when we had to leave? We can't just let her go. We can't let her die. Surely Edward must see that—_Jasper.

_She is so gracious and sweet, and Edward just lights up with her around. I can't believe I was ever wary about including her in this family. I will not let Edward leave her this time—_Rosalie_._

_I can't belief we have Bella back and she remembers me! And Hell, I'm so proud of Rose. I absolutely adore her caring side, that's what makes her so special, and perfect. How can somebody so incredibly beautiful have such a caring side?—_Emmett of course_._ He was really talented at finding the good in people, which made him perfect for Rosalie because her good was rather difficult to find sometimes. _If Edward doesn't figure out soon that he's not going to be able to let Bella go…_ his thoughts cut off as he decided to voice them, dramatically breaking the silence in the room.

"Edward," he said slowly as he wrapped his arm around Rosalie, "Do you really think you're going to be able to just let her go and watch her die?"

"What other choice do I have Emmett?" I refused to even acknowledge the option he, Rosalie, and Jasper were all hinting at in their minds. "I will not steal her soul."

"And who says that making her a vampire automatically robs her of her soul?" he asked angrily though he knew my view on this, they all did.

"You are so stubborn. You can't even see the truth before your very eyes," he said cryptically.

"And what would that be Emmett?" I asked, sarcasm dripping from my tone.

"How about this, Edward: do you love Bella?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose between my two fingers. Carlisle and Esme stood silently behind me, though I could see that their thoughts were in more support of Emmett. Jasper and Rosalie stood flanking Emmett, and to an innocent passer-by, this argument would look more like a war. "More than anything in the world," I swore, to nobody's surprise.

"And do Carlisle and Esme love each other? Do Alice and Jasper love each other? Don't Rosalie and I love each other? And how about Carmen and Eleazar, don't they love each other?"

"Enough with the rhetorical questions!" I cut him off with exasperation. "Obviously you all love each other, that doesn't prove anything!" I continued, seeing the direction his thoughts were traveling.

"But Edward, don't you see?" Carlisle spoke now, in a much more subdued tone than Emmett, "Where do you think our love comes from if not from within the soul?"

Emmett was pleased that Carlisle had continued his thought for him and Rosalie remained smugly proud of her husband's argument.

"How could I deny her heaven, and force her to stay for all eternity confined to this Earth?" I asked, feeling a bit more resigned.

"I'm not so sure that the choice is yours," Jasper said quietly as we heard Bella and Alice beginning to descend the stairs from my bedroom. Our argument had been too quiet for Bella to hear, but there was no doubt that Alice had heard the whole thing. She was reeling at my stubbornness. She didn't want to let Bella go any more than I did, and she felt I was being thickheaded.

As I saw Bella near the bottom of the steps dressed in a most beautiful, casual dress I forgot to breathe, or think, or do anything at all besides just stand there with my mouth gaping. The dress was royal blue and it had been far too long since I had last seen that beautiful color adorning Bella's slender frame.

When Alice saw my face she was torn between feeling resentment for my decision, and feeling amusement from my obvious amazement. Bella was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen, I scoffed to think that I had ever for even a millisecond considered her ordinary.

My siblings relaxed from their attack stance smoothly and complimented Bella on her dress as they exited the room. Esme and Alice took turns hugging her and telling her how glad they were to have her with us before they left as well. Carlisle placed a calming hand on my back, hardly rousing me from my ogling. _Maybe you need to rethink your stance, for Bella's sake. I won't force any decisions on you, but it will be hard for more than just you if we have to say goodbye to Bella once again. _

I nodded as a sign of comprehension before Carlisle left the room as well to find Esme. Bella looked at me questioningly, but I simply took a few steps to close the space between us and wrapped her in a gentle hug of my own. "Well my beautiful Bella, you're all dressed up. I suppose we should go somewhere and show you off," I teased.

I began pulling her toward the garage so that we could take my car without giving her the opportunity to protest. She nearly tripped with the speed from excitement that I had as I lead her by the hand, but I slowed our pace considerably after that. I grabbed the key to my Volvo and opened the passenger door for her so that she could climb in.

The Volvo was the only possession I had which was not dated. I missed the control I had with a manual shift car, but they stopped making those several years ago, and this automatic actually performed better anyway. My car was top of the line, as were those of the rest of my family.

I quickly decided I would bring Bella to an Italian restaurant since it was nearing dinner time, and she must be getting hungry. I enjoyed the sentiment because it reminded me of Bella's and my first date of sorts at La Bella Italia in Port Angeles after I was forced to save Bella from the horrible human men who wanted to hurt her. How I had hated and wanted to kill those men that night, but the most important thing was to save Bella. I unfortunately had no way of saving her from the disease which was trying to hurt her now. There was only one other option.

The fact that I was even viewing it as an option now was completely horrible. It was time to start facing the truth though. The truth was I had found out long ago that I was entirely too selfish to deny myself Bella's presence even for her own good. The truth was that the selfishness in me which had originally compelled me to return to Forks was alive and well, and would do anything to keep Bella.


	12. Clair De Lune

**A/N Alright everybody, it's time to get down to business—as in the real plot is about to get going. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty excited about this next chapter. I have to warn you, this chapter is incredibly short and the ending…. Well it's mean. What can I say, I always wanted to have a cliff hanger!**

**Stephanie Meyer would never be this mean, so you know that I am not her. That means I do not own any of the Twilight characters or references.**

Chapter 12- EPOV

The ride to the restaurant in the next suburb was short and silent. Both Bella and I were completely lost in our own thoughts. "Portofino's?" she asked as we pulled into the parking lot.

"Unless you would prefer something else," I replied, "I myself will not being dining," I teased.

"No, this is fine," she said softly, "Stephanie used to love this place, but I've never actually eaten here."

I wasn't sure what to make of that information. I hoped that my choice in restaurant wouldn't make her sad, I wanted tonight to be happy for us, I wanted it to be fun. At the same time I was now dying to know what Bella had been thinking about during the whole ride over here. She hadn't breathed a word the whole drive. "Bella what were you thinking about during our drive?" I asked curiously.

"A dream that I had," she said easily.

"And was it about me?" I prompted as I swiftly exited my side of the vehicle and dashed to her side to get the door.

She laughed quietly then answered, "Of course it was. But it was also about Claire De Lune."

"When did you have this dream?" I asked after we made the short journey across the parking lot. She had my complete attention and I hated to look away as I told the wait staff that our party was only for two this evening.

Bella eyed our hostess curiously as she kept sending glances in my direction while leading us to our table. I was glad that Bella wouldn't have to hear the jealous thoughts coming from this woman's mind. _Well hello gorgeous! And gorgeous' friend I presume? She's dressed a little too nicely, who does she think she's going to impress? I hope they're not together or anything. Maybe I can slip him my phone number sometime?_

"This table will do," I said impatiently before she took us to the more crowded section of the restaurant. I was not about to waste my time with Bella by removing my eyes from hers so I completely ignored the hostess as she seated us, much to her dismay. Bella was trying to stifle a laugh and I wondered if maybe Bella had an idea about what this vile woman was thinking after all.

I didn't even bother to look at my peach colored menu as I waited for Bella to reach for hers. She hesitantly opened it for the briefest moment before she pressed the top menu item's button and placed it back on the table.

"Please select a beverage if you would like one," read the little speaker on the front of the menu. Bella blushed then turned the menu back over and pressed the button for a Coke.

Finally she looked back at me and met my eyes. "I had that particular dream today on your couch," she answered my question from earlier.

"You were dreaming while you slept on my couch?" I asked, amazed, "Your mouth didn't open once to speak the whole time, I assumed dreams had eluded you during your nap."

She blushed again with even more force. It was beautiful and it was tempting, but I easily ignored the fire in the back of my throat. "I don't always talk when I sleep," she insisted. I nearly laughed but withheld for her sake. I reached across the small table and stroked her warm fingers with my frozen ones. She eyed my hands carefully and I was rather impressed myself with my boldness.

"You are quite the chatterbox the majority of the time though," I concluded, "So tell me more about your dream. There was an occasion when you became ill at school and we listened to Claire De Lune when I drove you home," I remembered clearly.

"No, no. This was very different," she said with an air of mystery. A waitress walked up and delivered Bella's Coke before she could say anything else.

_Jackie wasn't joking, this guy is like gorgeous! Some sort of sexy supermodel I bet. _"The food will be out shortly sugar," said the waitress as I cringed.

Bella was unable to stifle her laugh this time and I stared at her incredulously. "Please explain what you find so funny right now," I instructed with mock seriousness.

"Her thoughts," she laughed, "They were even more annoying than the hostess," she declared with another laugh.

The disbelieving expression on my face did not falter. Last I checked, I was the mind reader between us, not Bella. "And when did you learn to read minds?" I queried.

"Oh I don't need to read minds to know what they're thinking and your reactions are quite revealing," she continued, hardly calming her laughter.

"Well she seemed to be somewhat obsessed with alliteration, or perhaps she has simply been reading too much poetry lately. Hers were some of the most annoying thoughts I've heard in a long time, though," I admitted with a grin of my own.

Bella's laughter only increased and I amusedly waited for her to stop so I could learn more about her dream. "I haven't laughed like that in such a long time," she admitted and I felt her hand switch over mine so that she was holding my hand rather than the other way around. Her face was glowing and I couldn't resist the urge to touch her cheek.

I trailed my fingers softly up her cheekbone and she closed her eyes. "So tell me about your dream," I commanded, picking up our conversation from earlier as I allowed my hand to return to the top of hers.

"Well, like I said it was extremely different from any of the ones I've had about you before. It felt like we were in a different time," she continued and once again I found myself completely wrapped up in her words.

"First it was just me and one other man who was old enough to be my father. I was young and I was riding in the upper seat of a horse drawn carriage with the man holding the reigns for a beautiful brown horse. There were really old fashioned buildings all around us and the road was some sort of stone. The man had dark hair and eyes, he called me his little Bella Elena, I called him Babbo."

She looked at me expectantly, as if I had some recollection of this incident. Perhaps it was no more than a dream, I had certainly never ridden in a horse drawn carriage with Bella, and as far as I knew, Bella didn't know Italian, or call anybody Babbo, the Italian word for father. "Elena?" I asked, when I had gathered my thoughts, "Why Elena?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "It's my middle name?"

"Your middle name is Elena?" I asked, dumbfounded. How had I missed asking her about her middle name?

She smiled and nodded, "Rachel Elena Meyer, but I still like Bella. That's what you called me in my dream today too," she smiled innocently.

Just then the waitress walked up with Bella's food. Her Coke still sat untouched and the foul smelling food joined it in the middle of the table as the waitress tried to place the plate in front of me. "One spaghetti with meatballs?" she confirmed.

I simply nodded without making eye contact. "Just let me know if there's anything else I can bring for you," she said with a sickly sweet voice, emphasizing the "anything".

"So when did I come into the dream?" I asked, expecting a time jump of some sort to take place in her dreamland.

"Well, that's the thing. At first I wasn't sure it was you, you looked so different," she mused. I was utterly confused because for as long as I had known her, I had always looked the same. I was frozen in time as a seventeen year old vampire, she knew this. "My Babbo and I parked the carriage outside of a large brick building with these lovely cedar doors and stone balconies on the higher floors. There was beautiful music wafting out of the building, I snuck out of the carriage and waited by the doors listening to the loveliest piece of music I had ever heard. I didn't realize it in the dream, but it was Clair De Lune," she paused and I seized the opportunity to push her plate of pasta closer to her so that she might have some.

She glanced at the pasta and continued the story without a second thought, "At the end of the performance a small, well-dressed family came out. There was a mother, a father, and a son slightly older than myself. He was the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. He had bronze colored hair and the most beautiful green eyes which were just all lit up," she paused and picked up her fork. She began twirling some pasta around her plate and I stared at her, shocked. This story wasn't sounding so unfamiliar after all.

"What happened next?" I begged to know.

She put her fork down carefully and continued with a sharp inhale of breath, "I bravely marched up to the family and asked them if they needed carriage service. They followed me to my Babbo's carriage and we introduced ourselves before they climbed in. My Babbo of course introduced me as his Bella Elena, rather than simply Elena. You called me Bella, I called you Edward Masen."

**A/N Dun Dun Dun!!! Oh who saw that coming? Who's confused? Who thinks I'm a jerk for doing this to you?**


	13. The Truth

**A/N Hello everybody, and welcome to my tribute to my favorite chapter in "New Moon". I'd like to think of this chapter as sort of an Easter egg hunt. The eggs are the charming and beautiful quotes which were taken straight out of the chapter, but given from Edward's POV rather than Bella's. And yes, the title of this chapter is an egg ;).**

**Hope you enjoy reading, and know that I am no Stephanie Meyer. The characters and all the good quotes are all hers and I'm just mixing them around for our entertainment. **

**Recommendation: "In the Land Of Milk and Honey" by .magic. That is some writing that needs to be published if you ask me ;) Go read and review it! (As soon as you're done with this chapter!—maybe before)**

**A/N Take 2: Soooo I'm sorry about the many mistakes on this chapter before. I'm just posting this so it's a little bit cleaner. I was just too excited to post it when I finished a few days ago. I couldn't even wait to reread it myself…. Poor choice. I promise to be more careful on the next chapter (and don't worry you don't need to reread this if you have already read through 13… I only fixed spelling and grammatical errors… not the skips in conversations etc.)**

Chapter 13- EPOV

I felt completely frozen and I sat in my chair staring at the most beautiful creature on the planet, speechless. The story Bella had just told me was more than a dream, it had happened, it was a memory, a memory of mine no less.

"That was the first night I ever heard Clair De Lune," I finally said softly, mostly to myself. "At the Chicago Symphony Orchestra Hall if I remember correctly. I don't remember too many things from my short human life, I hardly remember my parents at all. But when you were telling the story, it just came back to me."

"We drove you home and I gave you some flowers I had picked earlier in the day," she whispered and I gaped at her even more.

"They were freesia," I realized, "They smelled wonderful, they smelled like you!" I faintly saw the figure of a very young girl giving me flowers during a late evening.

Bella stared at me intently, the expression on her face was unreadable. I was in a state of utter disbelief. I had met Bella once before in Chicago when I was still human, long before Forks, and I hadn't remembered. But this made no sense, how could she keep coming back into my life? Twice was a miracle, but now three times? I was certain that my mouth was still hanging open.

"It was more than a dream," she whispered, again toying with her spaghetti.

"But what does this mean?" I wondered.

She chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully for a few moments before answering. "I don't know if you're a big believer in fate," she began, "But I think we are," she looked at me, ready to gauge my reaction, "More than just lifelong friends. I think we're _supposed_ to be together."

Her idea sounded appealing to me, and rather logical considering all of the supernatural which had been revealed to us in the past few days. I waited for her to continue her thought.

"I've met you twice before now. The first time I met you we were too young to be in love, but I think the way you affected me with that one meeting was huge," she sighed. "The second time around was much more, if my dreams don't deceive me. We were in love, that is, until _something_ happened and I ended up dead?" She emphasized the "something" as a way to convey to me that she still wanted to know what that was. "So what do we do this time around?" she asked.

I didn't really have an answer. "Enjoy our time together while we can?"

"And just hope that I come back again after I die?" she glanced at me inquisitively. I hadn't really considered that maybe she would come back yet again. Perhaps it was some sort of progression in our relationship. But it made no sense, people didn't just do that. They didn't just die then come back again and again, each time getting closer to the person they love.

"We can't count on that," I insisted morosely.

"But what other option do we have Edward? You're a vampire, I am not. You cannot die, yet I die over and over again. All I want is to be with you forever, and something always stands in our way. I don't want to leave you, I just want to stay with you forever, but what can we do? It's not like you can transform me into a vampire or something so I could stay with you…" she stopped short and gazed into my eyes. I tried not to give anything away, but she had just realized the only other option that we had to consider, and it wasn't a pleasant one.

"Edward?" she began, reaching across the table to stroke my cold face with her warm and endearing fingers. I nearly shuddered with the electric pulsing I felt coming from her fingertips. "Is that possible?" she asked meekly.

"Is it possible for me to suck out your soul, make you suffer the most painful torture in the world, then condemn you to be a murdering, bloodthirsty creature of the night for the rest of eternity, just so I could be with you?" I countered bitterly, catching the shocked expression in her eyes.

I halted my argument as I heard the waitress making her way back over to the table to pick up Bella's plate and bring the check. Bella was clearly sizing me up after my outburst and it made me uncomfortable. I was dying (figuratively of course) to know what she was thinking.

The waitress walked away eventually, taking her maddening thoughts with her so I was able to once again focus on Bella's beautiful eyes. I couldn't know for sure how much longer I had to look at them.

Finally she spoke, "So it is possible?" she asked quietly. My lips hardened into a narrow line and I didn't dignify that remark in any other way. "We could be together?" she continued and I fought my face's desire to soften and show her the enormous love I felt for her, she didn't understand what price our togetherness would come with. It was too much to ask of her, and I couldn't allow it.

"I think I already knew that," she whispered and I lost the battle to fight the curiosity from taking shape in my facial expression.

"What do you mean?" I asked earnestly.

"I think I've always known that even real life honest-to-goodness vampires can still add to their numbers, just like in the movies. I mean, you weren't always seventeen. I saw it for myself, you were thirteen or fourteen years old with sparkly green eyes lit up from a symphony performance," she smiled a little with the memory, and I waited for the rest of her explanation. "I already knew that you would never change me though," she finally said softly. "I don't know how I know that."

"Bella, it's getting late," I averted. "Perhaps we should talk more about this tomorrow?"

"We don't have to if you don't want," she said with an even quieter voice littered with resignation. "It's your choice to make, it's just…" she trailed off sadly and I stood up from the table after swiping my credit card in the machine on the side of our booth.

When we walked outside, I noticed her shiver involuntarily with the cool windy Chicago air. I regretted not having Alice grab Bella a jacket and I easily slid out of mine and wrapped it around Bella's small shoulders. I knew that it would have no body heat leftover from me, but it was better than nothing and at least could block the wind.

She relaxed into it with a contented sigh and "Thank you". I opened the door to my Volvo for her and she climbed in as I raced to the other to get the car started and the heat going before her door was closed.

By the time we got back to my house she was fast asleep in my front seat. I carried her up to my room and Alice accompanied me so she could get Bella changed and ready for bed.

Alice kissed her cheek then mine before she turned to head out. _Oh the Denali coven should be coming sometime soon_, she thought for my benefit as a vision of their arrival replayed in her head.

"You know they haven't lived in Denali for years, I don't know why everyone insists on calling them that," I whispered teasingly as she stuck her tongue out at me in a most childish gesture of sibling banter.

She turned to walk away again, but this time I met her at the door and embraced her in a strong hug which would have easily crushed Bella. "Thanks Alice," I gave her my heartfelt thanks, "You've done so much, and you've always been there for me. Just thank you," I finished.

She beamed at me, then her thoughts turned sour, "Just don't waste this Edward," she commanded out loud, "I highly doubt you'll get a third chance to make things right with Bella," she advised.

"Actually," I cut her off before she could get too carried away, "I think I might already be on my third try," I whispered.

She stared at me with confusion. _I don't understand_.

"I don't completely either, but I'll try and explain what I know tomorrow once Bella has woken up," I told her.

"That may have to wait until after school," she admitted regretfully. She was dying inside to find what new information I had, but tried to be patient.

"True," I agreed, "Good night Alice!"

"Sweet dreams Edward," she joked. _Mostly I just hope Bella has sweet dreams so you can share them with her_ she clarified in her head with a birdlike laugh.

It wasn't long before the sleep talking began, much to my entertainment. My family was pretty well engaged throughout the rest of the house. Rosalie was out inspecting and tuning up the cars, Emmett was attempting to beat Jasper at yet another video game. Alice sat in Carlisle's office with him while he worked at lightning speed on files for an orphanage he had recently taken interest in down in Ecuador. Alice was searching through the future for random things to do with our family and Bella while Esme was looking up different kinds of breakfast, lunch, and dinner recipes on our kitchen counter flat screen computer.

"Edward?" whispered the beautiful slumbering girl beside me. I knew better than to think she was awake but I answered anyway as I began rubbing circles on her arm which was grasped in mine.

"Right here Bella, I'll never leave you," I soothed.

It was silent for few minutes before she began speaking again. "You…don't…want…me?" she said very slowly and I cringed when I recognized the words and the pain she felt with them.

"No Bella, that's not true. That was a lie Bella, don't believe it. Please don't believe it," I all but begged the unconscious girl.

Then she screamed. It was the most horribly beautiful, (figurative) blood curdling sound I had ever heard. My family was in the room in less than half a second.

"Bella! Bella!" I roused her from her sleep crazily. Finally she opened her eyes as tears came streaming down her face in torrents. She was a mess, a beautiful one at that, but nevertheless a complete mess.

I wrapped my arms around her securely and tried to calm her, but she squirmed trying to get away from me until I released her.

With tears still pouring down her face and confused thoughts flying at me from every member of my family, Bella tried to get as far away from me as possible in the large, yet crowded room.

"You, you… you…" she stammered, looking at me completely horrorstruck. "You left me!" she sobbed and she collapsed onto the ground allowing her arms to wrap around her legs in a position meant for self preservation.

She cautiously looked around at the eyes of my family members. Like their minds, their faces were all filled with horror, devastation, but also understanding about what Bella had dreamt of tonight.

The weight of our emotions struck us each stone solid, unsure of what to do. We waited for her to continue. "You said you didn't love me!" she accused mournfully, "And you left me in the woods!"

I finally was able to thaw myself enough to move off the bed in order to wrap my arms around her stiff body. "Bella, I'm so sorry," I whispered, readying myself to explain.

She cautiously buried her face into my chest, and finally asked, "Is that why you don't want to change me into a vampire? You don't want to have me around forever?" she looked heartbroken at the thought and I heard several members of my family inhale sharply with her question. They silently took their leave so that I could try to explain things properly to Bella. They each wished me luck in their minds before they went, even Rose. _ I was wondering if she remembered that part or not. Well Edward, looks like you have some explaining to do tonight, don't screw this up—_always the demanding one. They were gone and off the property in seconds, and I was left to my thoughts as I tried to comfort the agonized angel I held in my arms on the floor.

And where to begin? "Bella, I'm so sorry," I repeated, more forcefully as the words began pouring out of my mouth at a frantic pace. "I'm so sorry that I left you, I left you alone in the woods, unprotected. I wish I could take it all back, I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to leave you unprotected, it was a horrible mistake—"

"Edward, stop," she cut me off, shaking her shoulders out of my grasp once again and meeting my eyes with a tragic stare. Then her face hardened into a look of determination, I waited for her to gather her thoughts and I attempted to gather mine. "Edward, you can't think about things that way," she commanded. "There is no law that says you have to love me. I am my own person, and you are your own person. If you don't want me around, there's nothing either of us can do about it. You can't let this… this _guilt_… rule your life. So you left me? Big deal. There's nothing to compel you to keep me, so why stay? I don't want to hold you back and I certainly don't want to be a source of guilt and pity in your life. And you don't need to have me over for an extra week, you don't even need to visit me in the hospital. I'll be fine."

The look of horror on my face must have been noteworthy because it brought Bella to a stop in her speech as she reached over to try and comfort me. _She_ tried to comfort _me_! I was the one who left her and broke her heart, and she was trying to comfort _me_.

"Isabella Marie…" I halted my words, knowing that this was not her only name, "Rachel Elena Meyer," I whispered. I wasn't certain what she saw on my face, frustration? Sickness? Anger? Whatever it was, it kept her silent and waiting for me to try and explain myself. "Do you think I invited you to stay here, and visited you in the hospital because I felt _guilty_?"

There was nothing but blank incomprehension on her face and my guilt intensified to the point of pain. I was momentarily glad that Jasper had left the house with the rest of the family in the name of privacy. He would not have enjoyed my emotional state at this moment. "Didn't you?" she asked quietly.

"Feel guilty? Intensely so. More that you can comprehend." I stated sadly.

"Then…what are you saying? I don't understand."

"Bella I invited you here because I love you, because I can't stand to be away from you. I know we don't have that much time left together, and I just need to be with you while I can. For half a century I prayed every day, in every second of every day, to anybody who would listen, for a second chance. I prayed for a chance to see you again, to hold you again, to never let you go. Finally I have you once again, and even though it's not forever, I cannot allow this opportunity to pass."

She eyed me dubiously for a moment before speaking. "You left though," she countered, "You said you didn't want me to come with you. You said you were tired of pretending to be something you are not, and Edward, I cannot deny it. You're not human, and you said it yourself, I'm not good for you. You promised you would never see me again, but apparently I couldn't let you go as easily as you thought, because here I am—fifty whatever years later, back from the dead to annoy you some more," she finished, her voice taking on an air of petulance.

Behind the petulance and the mask of determination I could easily see the pain. I had hurt her so badly, there was little to no possibility she would ever forgive me, but I had to try. "I'm a good liar, Bella, I have to be," I began, and she froze. The pain in her features surfaced and I realized she probably thought I was retracting my previous statement of endless love. I shook her shoulder, trying to loosen her rigid pose. "Let me finish!" I begged. "I'm a good liar, but still, for you to believe me so quickly." I winced. "That was…excruciating." She waited, still frozen.

"When we were in the forest, when I was telling you goodbye—" I struggled to continue. I didn't want to relive the pain that I felt and caused that dreadful day back in Forks, but I had to make her understand. "You weren't going to let go," I whispered. "I could see that. I didn't want to do it—it felt like it would kill me to do it—but I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought I'd moved on, so would you."

She sat still for a long moment. I heard Carlisle's car start out in the garage and I realized that he and Esme must be leaving for work. The sun would be up in a few hours and Bella had hardly gotten any sleep tonight. From the looks of it, she wasn't about to either. I was selfish enough to keep her awake long enough to make her understand. "So you left me, so that I could move on?" she asked skeptically after chewing on her lip for a moment and wiping the last of the tears from her eyes. "Why?"

"Something happened," I began, not entirely sure how much she remembered, "The week before I left. It was your birthday, and there was an incident—"

"With Jasper?" she asked knowingly. I nodded with a hard face. This was still not one of my favorite subjects to discuss. The night had been a disaster, and I had realized that evening, what I thought was the truth. I put Bella in too much danger by being with her, and I had to leave. I wanted her to have a normal life.

"I just wanted you to have a normal life. I didn't want to make your life so difficult. I wanted you to fall in love with a normal human being, live a full life, have _children_ someday. But you couldn't do that when I was around. I thought I was doing the right thing because I was finally doing something for you rather than for me. Because only you could be more important that what I wanted… what I needed. And I had to convince you that I didn't love you anymore." I sighed and pulled her closer to me, as if proving to myself that she was actually there.

"I never imagined it would be so easy to do," I stated sadly, rubbing circles on her arm as I held her to my chest. "I thought it would be next to impossible—that you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and I'm so sorry—sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect you from what I am. I lied to save you, and it didn't work. I'm sorry," I finished and sat there quietly waiting for her to say something. She didn't.

"But how could you believe me?" I finally had to ask, remembering perfectly the shock and shame I had felt when she believed me. "After all the thousand times I've told you that I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?" I continued, "I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly _believed_ that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept—as if there were any way that _I_ could exist without needing _you_!"

She still sat there on the floor, leaning into my chest, completely frozen. I couldn't take it anymore, "Bella," I pleaded, "What are you thinking?"

She didn't answer but I felt her falling tears begin to warm my shirt again. I tried to comfort her again. "I'm sorry I left Bella, but I'm here now. I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away, and then every second of the fifty years while you were gone. When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy." I finished off breathlessly, running out of words which would convince her of the truth. I looked at her hesitantly and stroked her hair, "I love you Bella, and nothing can ever change that."

So she kissed me. I was pleasantly taken aback, but it took about an eighth of a second for me to respond. She kissed me hard and passionately, wrapping her fingers in my hair and letting her heart race away in her chest. I didn't even think about breaking away for her safety. I could feel her soft body pressed firmly against every crease of my stone being, but I only pulled her tighter. Her soft lips moved furiously with mine and I allowed mine to react naturally, humanly. I couldn't be sure whether minutes or hours passed, but all too soon she was panting for breath and I finally released her. She looked dazed and dizzy, but content.

"Bella," I scolded, "You really need to get to sleep. Your body needs it right now to fight off the illness, or to at least keep you well enough for the surgery," I tried to hide my internal cringing at the thought.

She looked as if she was going to protest so I picked her up carefully and carried her back to the bed before placing her gently beneath the sheets and comforter. I moved to close the curtain on the window. According to Alice it would be overcast today, like most days in Glen Ellyn outside of summertime. I sat down on the bed beside her above the blankets so as to not contaminate her warm cocoon with my frigid temperature. She smiled at me, slightly dazed, but I knew that smile well. She had questions, and by the looks of it, she seemed to think I had answers.

"Edward," she began sweetly. "Can you tell me about how I died?" she paused for a moment looking at me quizzically as I inhaled an unnecessary breath. "I mean, was that the last time I ever saw you?"

I stalled effectively for a few minutes as I tried to convince her to sleep now, and I would explain more in the morning. The very essence of stubbornness herself adamantly refused over and over again my attempts at dazzling and persuasion. Finally I gave up and told her, reliving my most painful of days for the second time in a week.

"So you came back?" she asked, interrupting the story at one point.

With a glimmer of hope and a slight smile in my voice, I answered, "Of course I did, I already told you, I can't live without you."

She looked at me for a moment, calculating, "So it really is just about my soul isn't it?" she asked, completely distracted from the story. "That's why you won't change me. The night of my birthday, Carlisle told me that you believe vampires don't have souls, and you don't want to take away mine."

I nodded. I was not ready for another tense discussion about the future, but I knew at the same time that Bella needed to know. From somewhere outside I heard the sound of my siblings approaching the house and garage. They would be leaving for school momentarily.

"I don't care about my soul, Edward," she spoke sternly, as if explaining an elementary math problem to dull high school student. "Take it, it's yours. All I want is to be with you, and you seem to want that too. Why can't we just do things the easy way for once in your existence?" she argued.

"You don't know what you're asking," I replied through clenched teeth. "You will feel as if you are passing through the very fires of Hell itself during the change. Then for the rest of your existence, you will want nothing more than to kill every human that comes within fifty feet of you. Your life will be over, and your afterlife will be nothing but pain and temptation, but you will have no choice but to suffer, no way out."

The look on her face said that she thought I was being melodramatic. "Never mind," she said with frustration, "How about you continue with your story." I obliged and picked up where I left off. I got a little bit careless with my explanation, though. When I mentioned werewolves, she gasped.

"This world is certainly not what I thought it was one week ago," she mused. "That name sounds familiar though, Jacob Black was it?" she asked vaguely. I nodded and noted that she was completely absorbed in thought, perhaps trying to remember.

"I think he was a friend of yours, though I must say I do not approve of you hanging out with werewolves, they're very dangerous creatures. In fact, I can't believe that as soon as I left, you seemed to link up with the only thing more dangerous than a coven of vampires." I shook my head, amazed. She was some sort of magnet for trouble, that much was undeniable.

"I didn't jump off the cliff to kill myself," she stated suddenly. I waited almost patiently for her to expand upon her out of the blue statement. "It's weird how I remember some things so clearly, but others are very vague. I've dreamt many times about jumping off the cliff, and my thoughts are the same every time. Like Jacob said, I wanted to hear your voice, and somehow by jumping off the cliff, I would be able to hear you. It was strange, and it makes no sense, but in my dream it does. Somehow, doing reckless things made me hear your voice," she stopped and looked a bit embarrassed. "That sounds crazy doesn't it."

All I could feel was guilt, she had just confirmed the fact that it was my fault she jumped off the cliff. "Bella, I'm so, _so_ sorry that I left you," I apologized for the eighth time tonight, though if it had been the eightieth it still wouldn't have been enough.

"Please stop apologizing," she insisted, "Don't you see, I'm the mental one. My subconscious must have known that you still loved me, even though my conscious mind refused to believe it. Every time I did something reckless or dangerous, I would hear your angry voice in my head. All I could think about was how beautiful it was, but what I should have realized is that you cared, and you cared because you loved me. I should have believed you that you loved me, but it never made sense to me," she finished explaining her little epiphany, and the look on her face was a mix between triumph at her conclusion and self frustration that it took so long.

She could be downright outrageous though sometimes. How could she not realize how much I loved her, how much she meant to me? I decided to try to illuminate this point for her, "Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were starts—points of light and reason…and then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."

"I think you just described my life without you," she whispered.

"I love you Bella."

"I know that now," she smiled, "I love you too."

**A/N Still a little rough, but slightly less embarrassing… Thanks for the reviews everybody!**


	14. A New Query

**A/N Hello faithful readers, it's been a while, I hate to admit. Hope everybody is having a good week, and looking forward to an exciting story, because it's on its way! (At least I think so lol). I want to thank everybody who took the time to read this story, and a special thanks goes out to everybody who went so far as to review it. Helpful hints are exactly that—helpful. **

**Disclaimer: ****Non possiedo Twilight, i caratteri appartengono a Stephanie Meyer. And all Italian translations are compliments of Yahoo! Babel Fish, sorry I speak English and Spanish, not Italian :/****.**

**And nooooow: Capitolo quattordici ****(**_**Chapter fourteen**_**)**

Chapter 14- EPOV

It was nearly 11:30 a.m. and I felt dreadful about waking Bella, even if it was nearly noon. The problem was she was due for a treatment soon and it would be unwise for her to miss a single one while she was on vacation at my house.

"Bella," I whispered, stroking the dark chestnut hair which cascaded down her back. She was laying half on her side, nuzzled into me. She didn't even stir, so I tried again. "Bella, my love?" I beseeched, twirling a lock of her hair around my index finger.

"Edward," she sighed, "I thought you said you loved me?"

Startled by her question, I began to worry that perhaps she had allowed some of her fears about my leaving to haunt her dreams, "Of course I love you Bella. With all my so—being." I knew better than to say soul, there was only one of those in this room, and it certainly didn't belong to me.

"Then why exactly are you trying to rip me away from one of my most pleasant memory dreams?"

I couldn't help but laugh at that remark as the tension left my features completely, so she wanted to play coy today? Two could play at that game. "But Bella, why would you want to be stuck with your little fantasy Edward, when the real one is right here?" I teased.

She smiled a most heartbreaking smile, "While you make a _very_ good point, I wonder a little at your self-assuredness," she trailed off innocently.

I simply cocked an eyebrow at her in response.

"I only meant to question how you were so certain that it was you involved in my memory dream," she said with all the seriousness she could muster.

My other eyebrow shot up to meet the raised one. "Why Bella Elena Rachel Meyer Marie Swan!" I ticked off her names disdainfully, "I insist you take that back."

"Or what?" she teased, finally sitting up in bed to look at me playfully.

"You'll see," I said sternly. Then before she could blink I effortlessly pulled her from between the sheets and gently tossed her over my shoulder. After quickly making sure she was completely secure I dashed down the stairs at lightening pace. With every hardly visible step I took, I made sure to counter the action with just enough force so that Bella wouldn't feel jostled as I sprinted down to the first floor then out to the front porch.

Outside, we were greeted by a cloudy sky which threatened rain, but I knew better, thanks to Alice. It wouldn't rain again until next week, so I placed Bella softly onto the recently refinished wooden swing which hung invitingly on the front porch. She looked dizzy from the short trip down from my room, so I stole the opportunity to tease her more, and perhaps make her rethink the decision to not reveal the contents of her dreams upon first inquiry.

"Care to disclose your dream to me now? Or shall we take a little jog through the forest?" I prompted, staring straight into her slightly terrified eyes. Secretly, I would have relished an exhilarating forest dash, something I hadn't been able to enjoy with her for fifty years, but I knew it made her a bit queasy, so I wouldn't pursue the activity today.

Her eyes narrowed a bit as she looked up into my face. "You really love running don't you," she stated, and I was certain my eyes were dancing a little at the thought that she had seen right through me, the way no one else could.

"It is rather high on my list of loves," I admitted, "Right behind you and the rest of my family," I joked lightly, "Well maybe slightly before Rosalie."

"So what's wrong with Rosalie?" Bella asked cautiously.

Of course she would look more closely into my joking and I began to wonder if she remembered at all the poor treatment that Rosalie had bestowed upon her, when we lived back in Forks. "We don't always see eye to eye on many subjects," I explained more solemnly, "But in all seriousness, I do love her just as much as I love anybody else in my family, though that still doesn't amount to how much I love you," I smiled.

Her breathing paused for a moment, then finally started again right before she was able to speak. I didn't even bother trying to decipher her change in breathing pattern, she had the most ludicrous reactions to me sometimes.

"What don't you see eye to eye on exactly?" Bella pushed somewhat breathlessly, quite possibly trying to make me forget about her dream.

"Oh there are several things which two vampires can disagree on over the course of a century and a half's time," I answered vaguely. I still stood across from her and I continued looking down into her beautiful brown eyes.

"Like perhaps, the creation of additional vampires?" she asked softly, and her cheeks burned red. The blush was certainly tempting in far too many ways but I, for the most part at least, ignored it as I made my way over to sit by her on the porch swing. Her head was bowed and a familiar curtain of hair blocked my vision of her face. I was glad that Esme had had the swing refortified to the house so that it could support the weight of a vampire such as me.

"Bella," I sighed, pushing one of my favorite strands of her silky sweet hair behind her ear, "I'm not sure Rose and I have ever been of too different an opinion when it comes to changing you," I admitted, but I would allow her to interpret that as she may.

"Rose has changed a lot since last time I was around," Bella mused quietly, perhaps that was meant to be kept to herself.

"Indeed," I agreed, despite her quiet tone. It was unusual for a vampire to change, but I could see it on Rose's face as well as her mind, she was a new woman. Perhaps seeing me suffer for all those years had had some effect on Rose after all, because she was definitely a lot more caring for others than she had been when Bella was around the last time.

"In my dream, we were in a meadow," Bella began, swiftly changing the subject, much to my relief. I was glad she had abandoned the uncomfortable subject of vampire transformations and finally given up on her efforts to make me forget about her dream.

"And what is so special about this dream?" I asked, knowing full well that she was describing a monumental turning point in our relationship. As the sun continued to move across the clouded sky I let her tell me all about our day in the meadow just outside of Forks. She remembered everything so clearly, from the way the sun sparkled off my skin to the uneasy feeling she got when I ran through the woods with her on my back, even the kiss we shared, the first of many to come.

We only stopped talking so that she could take her medications which had been all but forgotten and then I convinced her to eat a late lunch. I felt bad about not feeding her earlier, but she said she wasn't hungry either way, much to my disbelief. Humans were supposed to eat three times a day at the very least, yet Bella seemed to be opposed to the idea of eating in general. Her lack of appetite seemed to be one of the only more obvious side effects of the disease and the medications she took to fight it off, I realized sadly.

Around three thirty, my siblings crashed through the front door after returning from school, all eager to see Bella. Alice was dying to hear about what I had mentioned to her last night, concerning Bella's actual first meeting with me, here in Chicago. I was impressed to discover that she really hadn't divulged what she knew to anybody else yet, even Jasper.

Emmett was the first to greet Bella today once we were spotted in the kitchen. "I hope you didn't do anything embarrassing or funny while I was away at boring school today," Emmett said as he accosted her with a huge bear hug, which was fortunately much softer than the previous one. Bella's face reddened again with Emmett's teasing, and I was relieved that my family members were all able to ignore it.

"Hello Bella," Rose addressed her still cautiously, "How're you feeling today?" _I wonder what Edward told her last night, she seems okay. I can't believe how forgiving she is._

"Hi Rose," she smiled warmly, and Rose's features softened in response, "I'm feeling great, thank you for asking. How was school today?"

It was Jasper who answered this time. "Oh you know, same old school," he assuaged, sensing how much Bella wished she could go to school, "It just doesn't change very much in the course of eighty years, in fact you're lucky you don't have to deal with it these days with all the new technology around to distract us from learning," he finished maturely.

Emmett simply stared at him as if he had grown another head, "Jasper, I don't know what you're talking about with technology distracting you from _learning_," Emmett scoffed, "Playing with your technology is the only thing you do _all _day long. You just play on your little computer and send instant messages to Alice since you were able to hack the school mainframe and tamper with the blocks."

Rosalie swiftly smacked Emmett when Bella wasn't looking for his insensitivity to her situation. Anyone with eyes could see that even though Bella laughed at Emmett's comment, she missed going to school like a normal student, apparently Emmett was blind. Jasper answered through his teeth, "Not for me, Emmett, I simply meant that the other children have difficulties focusing when there are so many distractions."

Emmett looked back and forth between Jasper and Rosalie, finally catching on to the fact that they were trying to downplay anything to do with school as much as possible. Uncomfortably he added, "Yeah I guess it's kind of hard to learn something at a high school level when you've been to high school countless times and you hold multiple college degrees," he explained to Bella.

I nodded my head in agreement. "Exactly," I looked to Bella, "School is such a monstrous waste of our time, but we have to go in order to keep up appearances so that we can live in an area for an extended period without raising suspicion." Emmett was able to agree more easily with my latest statement. He was never one for hiding things, particularly from family members. It was a miracle really that he was able to keep his vampire identity under wraps as it was.

_Oh dear, what does he have her wearing today? Is it too much to ask that he at least let her change out of her pajamas for once in her life?—_Alice's thoughts caught my attention finally, she had been inordinately quiet, waiting to pounce on poor Bella and me for information.

_I'm going to take her upstairs to change now, alright Edward? Can you let her out of your sight for half a minute, or is that too much to ask? _I stared Alice in the face for a long moment before nodding my head in approval. Her sarcastic thoughts were far from unusual, but I worried that she would start hounding Bella for information about her actual first life. Not to mention the fact that, even half a minute was such a huge thing to ask when I only had a limited time to spend with Bella.

I wasn't sure I was ready to explain what Bella and I had discovered about her past. Bella had just forgiven me a few hours ago for the horrible mistake I made all those years ago, by leaving her in Forks. I wanted her to just take it easy now, no more potentially painful memories. _Don't worry Edward, I'm not going to ask her about what you told me. It's hard to believe you find me so crass. When she's ready to share about whatever you know, then I'll listen attentively, but not before. _

I let myself smile easily with her thoughts. _Now that's what I like to see, a nice smile. I love seeing you smile Edward, and you smile so often with Bella around._ I let my grin grow wider still, as did Alice.

I looked over to see Bella smiling as well, absorbed in conversation with Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper while I was listening to Alice. Her smiling face was so beautiful. I wondered if she had picked up on the fact that Alice and I had been having one of our silent conversations, something that used to be a lot more common between us.

"I suppose, I need to go change now?" she asked, looking back and forth from me to Alice. Nothing got past Bella.

"And when, pray tell, did you become the mind reader?" I joked, and she simply laughed smugly in response.

"Oh you know," she stated, nonchalantly, "I think I simply picked it up from you," she allowed her eyes to linger long enough to make my nonexistent blood want to boil, then followed Alice up the stairs to my bedroom and I was left alone with my three siblings.

"So Edward," Emmett began, clapping me on the shoulder with enough strength to stop a speeding super semi truck, I flinched a bit.

"Sheesh Emmett," I complained, "You could kill somebody doing that," I reminded him, thinking of Bella. Maybe I would keep her further away from him than I had planned, he could be downright dangerous sometimes.

"Oh quit your whining," he laughed. "I was just wondering how your day had gone with a certain clumsy, blushing human."

I couldn't help the beaming expression that spread across my face just thinking of her and the relaxing day we had. "That well?" Jasper taunted, feeling my emotions. Emmett gave him a sly smile, which he easily returned.

Rosalie glared at them both before allowing her features to soften when she finally settled on looking into my face. "So she forgave you for leaving her?" She asked bluntly, Rosalie was never one to beat around the bush.

I nodded sadly, "She shouldn't have. I don't deserve it."

_None of us deserved it_, she thought. "She forgave me so easily for how I treated her before," she added quietly.

"And she forgave me for trying to kill her," Jasper added, disgusted with the idea. _By the way, Edward, is there any chance you know what Alice is so worked up about today?_

I must have grimaced in response to that thought noticeably, because Jasper took that as an affirmative. _So are you going to explain?_

"I think when Carlisle and Esme get home," I answered, bringing Emmett's and Rosalie's attention back to me. "Bella and I have some news that…"

"You're getting married!" Emmett shouted excitedly, not letting me finish. Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper all looked at me expectantly, their thoughts exploding in their heads, a mixture of confusion and excitement.

I had to stop that, and quick, "No!" I shouted. I heard Alice snicker from somewhere upstairs. _Look alive Edward, we're heading downstairs in t-minus 14 seconds_, she warned, always so precise.

"No, Emmett," I stated more calmly, "It's more of a new development that could be, well, _important_."

Bella and Alice were now on the first level, Bella dressed in another one of Alice's tasteful outfits, one which made her look simply stunning. Bella's smile grew as soon as she saw me and I knew mine was a mirror of happiness.

"Bella, you are so beautiful," I complimented softly, my voice hardly able to leave my throat.

"Yes, yes, she's always beautiful," Alice grinned, "But she should especially be now that she's wearing a complete Versace sweater outfit, only available in Europe I might add," she bragged happily. _You know you like sweater dresses, Edward_, she teased.

"Oh Alice, you've outdone yourself," Rosalie praised. The outfit was definitely gorgeous on her, but I didn't particularly care for the specifics. It was blue, and the pants were beige, there was a brown belt wrapped around her tiny waste which accentuated her curves in a way that should be illegal, and were those high heeled shoes that Alice had forced my poor Bella into?

Bella caught my staring and blushed, only making her more beautiful. I knew she hated being the center of attention, but I could hardly quit my ogling. "Don't ask me why Alice decided it was a good idea to fit me with these death traps," Bella almost groaned, motioning to her scantily clad feet. So I turned to Alice.

"Do you really find those necessary?" I questioned, actually a bit curious to hear the answer.

"Oh Edward, don't even pretend you don't like the way they look," Alice carped.

I heard Emmett's thoughts before he could speak them and I rushed over to stop him before he could say anything. Clapping a hand firmly over his mouth, Emmett's thoughts screamed at me while his words came out muffled, _Oh come on Edward, you are absolutely no fun at all! All I was going to say was that if she fell, you would be right there to catch her! That's all, that's not bad at all! You can release me now! Don't make me make you let go of me, because believe me, I'll do it!_

Bella watched our antics with an amused expression as she began walking down the steps. She should have been watching where she was walking in her high heeled shoes though, because I first saw the vision in Alice's mind before it began playing out in real life. She had caught the edge of her shoe on the back portion of the stairs and she had of course tripped.

The vision in Alice's mind changed just as quickly as it had formed as I rushed over to save Bella from a potentially dangerous fall. Alice would have easily been able to save her herself, but she sensibly stepped aside so that I could do it myself.

I caught Bella in my arms and steadied her as I easily lifted her off the ground. Clasped securely in my arms, she buried her face in my shoulder and I delicately stroked her hair. For the moment it was just her and I locked in our own little world, that is until Emmett's loud guffaws finally stole the moment from us. "You, you ran and, and—," he tried to phrase a coherent statement but he was hard-pressed to find sensible human sentence structures when he was so distracted by laughing.

Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice had all joined in Emmett's annoyingly contagious laughter as well and when I glimpsed Bella's face, it was red enough for the both of us. It wasn't _that_ funny, so I rushed over and nearly pushed Alice out of the way to save Bella who had tripped over her own feet. It was actually a very serious situation, if you asked me. "Oh Bella, I'm so sorry," Alice lied. Jasper and Rosalie were wisely trying to contain their laughter as I glowered at the lot of them.

Emmett finally managed to choke out an apology as well, "I'm sorry too Bella. It's just that Edward was trying to keep me from saying that if you fell, he would be more than happy to catch you, but he went ahead and proved my point for me," he explained, to my chagrin.

Bella cracked a little bit of a smile for Emmett, and I allowed my features to soften as well as a half grin contorted my mouth. I could hear the thoughts of Carlisle and Esme coupled with the soft purr of Carlisle's Mercedes as they pulled into our long driveway. I realized we would be unable to put off the inevitable revelation any longer with my parents' return, so I gently placed Bella on her own two feet and stage whispered into her ear, "Shall we tell the family what we discovered yesterday about your past or did you want to wait and do it later?" I asked, somewhat hoping she would choose later.

She looked at me confused for a moment before nodding her head in approval. I entwined our hands together enjoying the warmth of her sweet skin as I led her to the couch in the living room. Alice pranced along on Bella's other side and the others filed into the room after Alice.

Immediately sensing our congregation in the living room, Carlisle and Esme arrived shortly thereafter and took their seats in the main love seat facing Bella and I. They looked at us expectantly, and I looked to Bella. She was looking straight back at me, her eyes wide and her face regaining a little too much color as she began to realize that once again she was the center of attention.

_Are you going to tell us what's going on?_ thought Carlisle and Esme almost simultaneously. The thoughts of the rest of my family were just as confused and Alice was looking even more impatient than Emmett.

"Alright, I suppose I'll begin," I started, eyeing each member of my family individually before finally allowing my eyes to rest on Bella's deep brown ones.

_What the heck is going on Edward?_ I heard the timbre of Rosalie's thoughts, filling my drawn out pause. She was stationed on Emmett's lap in the large chair next to Esme. Jasper was perched on the edge of Alice's end of the couch, absorbing the eagerness in the room, and Alice sat sandwiching Bella between us. For a coven of immortal vampires, they really lacked a proper comprehension of patience, of course I was no better, yet still one would assume they could wait five minutes for an explanation.

"It's ok, I'll explain Edward," Bella piped up with a small voice, her cheeks coloring yet again. I nodded in encouragement. She had no reason to be nervous about speaking to my family, they were just as much hers as they were mine.

"What is it dear?" Esme asked kindly, allowing the warmth of her voice to melt Bella out of her slightly rigid pose.

Bella gave my hand a squeeze then finally spoke again, "When I met you all and Edward back in Forks, well—," she paused to glance at me and I kept the proud smile glued to my face, "I just don't think that was my first life," she stated. I didn't realize that this statement could come off ambiguously until I heard the confusion in the thoughts of my siblings. They assumed Bella didn't believe us about having a previous life in Forks.

"No, that's not what she's saying," I answered one of the more troubled thoughts which Emmett had, "What we're trying to say is that Bella met me another time, before we ever knew her in Forks, Washington."

Carlisle's interest level, though previously high, had just skyrocketed. He lived for new information, particularly when it dealt with the supernatural. "When?" he asked slowly, _you never mentioned meeting Bella before and with your vampire memory, you couldn't have forgotten, so was it _before?

I nodded toward Carlisle, grateful for his quick comprehension. Carlisle gasped in astonishment, and the rest of my family including Bella looked at me expectantly once again. "It was before I met Carlisle," I explained to everybody's astonishment.

Rosalie was first to respond this time, "You mean you met her when you were human?" she clarified, _Oh this is so much more complex than I even thought, what does this mean?_

Bella answered this time, "Yes and I was remember what happened. My name was Elena and I was with my Babbo one night outside of a concert hall, the Chicago City Orchestra Hall?" she verified, and I smiled at her excellent memory of such minor details. "My Babbo was the driver for a horse drawn carriage, and I saw Edward's family, the Mason's leaving the Hall after a concert. I asked them if they needed a ride home, and they agreed," she gave me a beautiful smile which I easily returned then she added quietly, "He was the most beautiful boy I had ever seen."

Unfortunately, though her comment made my grin grow, it also allowed a smile to find its way onto each of my family members' faces since they were able to hear her just as well as if she had yelled it. Realizing her mistake, Bella's face colored even more, and I wrapped my arm around her small shoulders to comfort her.

Alice's confused thoughts once again made their way into my consciousness, _Oh my gosh Edward, ooh my gosh, oooh my gosh! _She kept repeating, with more and more enthusiasm. Jasper was uselessly trying to calm her, as a vision of Bella as a vampire played out once again in Alice's mind. I tried not to groan at the sharply clear image, somebody had just decided something about Bella's future, and it wasn't me.

"Bella, is there anything else you can tell us, when did you first have this memory?" Carlisle asked, trying to piece things together. I envied his constant logical state, I was still distracted by my family's thoughts, attempting to determine whose mind had just recently changed.

"I had the memory dream yesterday when I was napping in Edward's room, after he played Claire De Lune for me on the piano," she explained, "It triggered a memory of me outside the concert hall in my first life, when I first heard it, and when I first met Edward. Oh, and I also remember Edward had these beautiful green eyes," she added making Esme's smile broaden to the size of the cliched cat's which swallowed the canary.

_We're not going to let her go, no matter what,_ Esme thought innocently, but her thoughts were loaded with meaning. What Esme meant more clearly was, 'we're going to change you into a vampire so that you can stay with us forever'. Apparently it had been Esme's decision which caused Alice's vision to clear up so much. That was unexpected to say the least, I needed to pay closer attention to her thoughts.

"Anything else?" Carlisle prompted, searching for more details to complete the puzzle.

"Well, I gave Edward a bouquet of flowers," she stated uncertainly.

"How about your father, your Babbo you called him? What can you tell me about him?"

"Well he wasn't very good at English, so I was usually the one to speak to the customers," she continued to explain thoughtfully, "But he thought Edward's family looked very nice and extremely dignified, so he addressed them himself. Like I told Edward, he called me his Bella Elena, or sometimes simply Bella for short," she finished.

Carlisle found that last thought very interesting, "So three times you've been alive, that you can remember," he began, "And all three times you've come in contact with Edward at least once, and all three times you've been nicknamed Bella?" he surmised.

"Interesting coincidence," she mused, her face blank.

"I'm not so sure I believe in coincidences," he said pointedly, staring back and forth between Bella and myself.

"I don't either," she said in another soft whisper which was easily heard by everyone in the room.

I was alarmed at first when the thoughts in Carlisle's head switched to Italian, "Ora me dite che Bella, però capite l'italiano?" he said with a perfect Italian accent. Luckily, I was could teach a native born Italian to speak the language myself, so I understood that he said, _Now tell me Bella, do you still understand Italian?_

Bella looked at me bewildered for a moment, and I worried what she thought about my father speaking in tongues. There was no way she could understand, she hadn't spoken Italian in about a centuary and a half. "Sì, suppongo che faccia," she said with ease, (_Yes, I suppose I do)_. Now it was definitely my turn to stare in bewilderment. Emmett was in a state of shock so severe that it was almost funny.

_She speaks Italian! Even I don't know Italian!_ Rosalie had sensed the thoughts of her husband, the only one in this room who didn't speak Italian, and she laughed humorously at him. We had never lived in Italy, so he never felt the need to learn it. The rest of us simply learned it because it was so similar to Spanish.

"Unbelievable," Carlisle remarked, staring at Bella with awe written all over his face. "So you must have lived in Italy at one point, before you came to Chicago," he stated, giving us all a better understanding of Bella's past.

"I wonder why you moved?" he asked, mostly to himself.

Bella simply shrugged, "Lots of people were moving to America around that time period, right?" she seemed to be a lot more curious about her move than she was letting on though, and so was I.

_Maybe it was fate_, thought Rosalie.

_Destiny,_ thought Alice.

_What if they'd never met that first time,_ thought Jasper.

_How did she die the first time?_ Wondered Emmett, and I had to admit, his curiosity on the morbid subject stirred my own.

_Third time is the charm,_ thought Esme.

The questions and thoughts of my family were all very relevant and important for figuring out Bella's story, but Carlisle's seemed to be most essential to me for some reason. I couldn't quite grasp why it was so important that I have that information about why Bella first came to America, where we met. Maybe there was some trigger of fate which would be revealed if I discovered the answer to that one question, maybe then I would understand how big the idea of Bella's and my life together really was. Then again, the answer could serve as nothing more than a temporary cure to my curiosity. Regardless, I planned to find out, the only thing I was unsure about was how to go about discovering that information.

**A/N So many questions to answer! And I so didn't want to stop, but this chapter was getting rather lengthy. I'm getting impatient in my own story because I know what's going to happen, I'm just not certain how exactly it's going to happen. I'm not trying to buy time by including these filler chapters which don't reveal nearly enough, these chapters are necessary, and I'm growing to accept that lol. Until next time, best regards! :)**


	15. Another Ending

**A/N Hello delightful, dedicated reader(s). I worked on this all day today instead of being productive and studying Chemistry—you're welcome. Can I just say, I can't believe you've stayed with me **_**all**_** the way to Chapter 15! That's over 50,000 words you've read so far! (I'm more than a little bit impressed). **

**A little about this chapter: I skipped ahead a bit, I hope you're not too disappointed, but I was getting impatient (as I may have mentioned before). I kind of want to play a little game at the end of this chapter if you're up for it. See below to find out details. **

**The Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I'm not Stephanie Meyer. If you haven't figured this out by now, then I'm sorry for you, perhaps you need to seek a mental health advisor. I've said so in three different languages so far, and if you forget by the time you get to the next chapter, I will reiterate for you once again. I do not seek to infringe any copyrights, just to entertain myself and anybody who is bored enough to read this story. **

**Bored or not though, I hope you enjoy:**

Chapter 15 – EPOV

Far, far too soon it was Wednesday morning once again and time to bring Bella back to the depraved hospital. It had been a difficult night last night. Everyone had been trying to hide their emotions for Bella's sake, but I could hear with insurmountable clarity in their minds that they were all devastated at the thought of her leaving our family once again. To say the week had been short would have been an understatement unrivaled by anything in the world, and to say that we would all miss her a lot would be a downright lie. I already knew that without her, I was missing half of myself, but I realized that my family felt like a piece of our whole would be missing as well without Bella.

During the week, everyone had been vying for opportunities to spend time with Bella, particularly myself and Alice. Fortunately for me, when my family was away during the day I had been able to experience the most wonderful alone time with Bella and it had made me spoiled, to the point of no return. I was so spoiled in fact, that I had initially flat out refused to allow Alice an entire day with her, without me on Saturday. After some intense persuasion from Alice (which included the dirty trick of convincing Bella to argue her side for her), I realized I was being selfish again, so I finally agreed to allow Alice to take Bella shopping in downtown Chicago for the day while I waited impatiently at home.

During our alone time while my siblings were at school and my parents were at the hospital, we had talked about anything and absolutely everything that had no importance whatsoever. It was undeniably Heaven, a greater Heaven than I had ever hoped for or imagined, but at the same time it was tainted by its imminent end. That end was today and I was horrified with the idea of losing Bella, I couldn't let it happen, yet I was determined to not steal her soul, so what choice did I have?

The selfish part of me screamed at me every day to grab Bella, throw her over my shoulder, and run away. I wanted to run away to another world, never to return to this city and certainly not to this dangerous surgery which Carlisle had agreed to. Still, I realized that wouldn't solve the problem of Bella's sickness, and all too soon she would leave me nonetheless. Esme's words on the day I had been reunited with my Bella replayed in my head over and over again, _she won't make it to her next birthday_. They haunted me during my whole blissful week, and they were particularly daunting to me today.

At 8:30 a.m. I gently roused Bella from her sleep. Her sleep talking tonight had been beautiful, but plaguing. She had begged me not to leave her, then over and over again she had apologized for leaving me. With each unconscious cry and tear I pulled her closer, in an attempt to comfort us both. "Bella, my love," I whispered with as much normalcy as possible, "It's time to wake up."

She didn't complain or even say anything at all as she emptily opened her eyes and climbed out of bed. I had helped her gather all of her fashionable new clothes and new suit case last night, and now there was only one outfit waiting for her today, clearly one that Alice had assembled. Still wordless, Bella picked up the outfit, which she normally would have complained about or blushed at, and walked to the bathroom to shower and change.

In a state of silence myself, I made the bed and picked up the rest of her belongings, carefully placing them into her suitcase which was packed full of clothes that Bella had never worn, and probably never would. I felt my dead heart try to rip itself free of my chest to avoid the agony which had enveloped me today. The books I had bought her on that first night lay on the nightstand and I slipped them into a separate bag after I had finished with the rest of her things. Now except for the lingering scent, it was impossible to tell that Bella had inhabited my room and my broken heart for the last few short days.

I exhaled heavily, in a useless attempt to rid myself of the terror which saturated me to the core. As I heard Bella walking toward me I composed my face into a serene mask before I turned to face her though, I simply couldn't let her see how painful this was. As I studied her lovely outfit appreciatively, I finally allowed my eyes to travel to her beautiful face, and most importantly her deep, telling eyes. I was not surprised to see the matching mask of serenity plastered on Bella's face, she was so brave, but her eyes revealed her torment.

"Oh my Bella," I sighed, pulling her in for a hug which I wished could last for eternity. Her warm tears penetrated my shirt and I only pulled her tighter. After several too short minutes, I finally released her and easily lifted her bags as we began our slow descent to the first floor. As silently as I, she followed me down the stairs and we remained as such throughout the morning.

After a quick breakfast I carried her stuff to my Volvo and we arrived at the hospital shortly thereafter. I submitted my information for the automated parking attendant and lead Bella straightaway to the cancer ward. The hospital social worker, Bella's alleged guardian: Augusta Christianson sat waiting with Esme just outside of the door with the sign that read "Rachel Meyer".

Both wore solemn expressions as they waited for our arrival. "Oh hello dears," Esme greeted us with sweet sorrow evident in her tone. "You're here early."

_Finally! Now where's Dr. Minor and Dr. Cullen?_ Demanded Augusta's thoughts desperately. I didn't have the strength to glare at her as I dropped Bella's suitcases off in the room, still grasping Bella's hand in my free one.

"Edward, Rachel," she greeted softly, much in contrast to her thoughts. I grew wary right away. The thing that would be making Augusta so uneasy right now would be the deteriorating condition of her daughter, and anything involving Christy Christianson automatically involved Bella now. My anxiety at bringing Bella back to the hospital only multiplied as I made that realization.

The four of us waited in dead silence for Carlisle and Dr. Minor. When at last they arrived, the expressions on their faces were not comforting. I became completely still when I heard the thoughts of Dr. Minor, _We have no choice; the surgery has to be today. There's no other way Christy can have a chance at survival. _

I remained a statue as the thoughts I had just heard replayed themselves over and over again in my head, one hundred twenty times in one second. I didn't want to make sense of what I just heard, because it simply wasn't fair. They couldn't perform the surgery today, Bella had just gotten here, she needed more time. I needed more time. My eyes bore into Carlisle's and I whispered in a voice that only he, myself, and Esme could hear, "Today?"

Carlisle nodded once as his thoughts grew louder in my mind. _I'm so, so sorry Edward. I had no idea, I promise. Christy took a turn for the worse last night and upon evaluation, we realized that it had to be now or never, otherwise she may only have a few days left to live. _

My human façade all but disappeared as I made sense of what Carlisle had just told me. _Breathe, Edward, please,_ came Esme's concerned thoughts, _What happened, what is it?_ She questioned silently, thoughts nearly as frantic as mine.

"Rachel," Dr. Minor addressed her, but for a moment she didn't stir, as if she didn't realize she was being called.

"Rachel," I tried again, squeezing her hand to gain her attention.

"It's Christy isn't it," she whispered, looking up to meet Augusta's eyes.

Esme looked on curiously as Carlisle, Dr. Minor, and I admired Bella's astuteness. "Indeed," he replied, looking to Carlisle for help.

Carlisle took the hint and continued the explanation for him, "I'm afraid to report that Christy is not doing well, her condition became very severe last night and we are having difficulties keeping her conscious," stated Carlisle, all business on the outside and cursing the many diseases of the world which can afflict loved ones from the inside.

Augusta had blanched with the mention of Christy's failing health, though she was already well aware of it after spending hours at Christy's bedside, only escaping because she was required to be here when they discussed Bella's treatment.

I was glad for Christy, that she had such a devoted mother, but at the same time I was furious that Augusta, who was supposed to be interested in preserving Bella's health, could only bring herself to care about her own love and not somebody else's.

"So what do we need to do?" asked Bella bravely sensing that a change in plans was on the horizon.

"We need to move the surgery up in order to give Christy a better chance of survival," said Carlisle, angry despite himself because we were ignoring the fact that this could significantly lessen Bella's life expectancy.

"No," I growled quietly when he said this, my anger making me brave enough to prevent my complete and utter devastation, "You can't do this."

"I'm afraid that's not your choice to make young man," Augusta said rudely causing both Esme and Bella to flinch. _Do not try this right now. Christy needs this, I need this! You will _not _let my Christy die just so you can have your new girlfriend for a few extra days. God, how can you be so selfish?_

I was certain the anger on my face had become an entity of its own as I glared at the horrible woman standing before me. Both she and Dr. Minor slinked away from my angry eyes.

Bella moved the hand which had been resting in mine up to my shoulder to try and soothe the evil glint in my eyes. The effect was instantaneous, but instead of feeling relaxed, the anger all too quickly faded into the horrible misery I had been trying to avoid. "You can't do this," I whispered, turning to face Bella and allowing her to finally see the heartbrokenness I had covered all morning. "You can't leave me," I begged.

Carlisle stepped in this time, "Son," he tried, _Please, you've made your decision not to change her, and she's made her decision to save Christy. Please, you have to let her go. I'm so sorry. I know it's hard, it's hard for all of us. But you never know, maybe she'll come back to us once again,_ he tried to comfort me to no avail, and with his last desperate thought, the fact that she would probably die finally set in on me and I stormed out of the room, leaving the four hospital employees and my dear Bella to determine her fate. I simply couldn't bear it anymore.

Outside the room, I crashed my hand through a metal gurney, then collapsed against the wall allowing myself to fall to the ground in a heap of sadness. It was all I could do to keep from shouting out and tearing through every single thing in this hospital as I tried to bear the pain of what Bella was about to do.

I listened in on the conversation which was taking place inside the room, and I desired nothing more than to tear my heart out. I remembered all too clearly what it had been like when the fire consumed me during my transformation to a vampire. It had been nothing short of Hell, yet now I almost longed for it. Even that could not compare to the pain I was feeling now.

Before Dr. Minor left with Augusta, the five occupants of the room had decided to go ahead with the surgery that afternoon at 4:30 p.m. Again I didn't have the strength to glare at Augusta or even seethe in a more obvious manner as she walked past with Dr. Minor flanking her. I knew that both were struck with the severity of the situation, even Augusta, but not enough apparently, because they were doing nothing to save my Bella.

When Carlisle and Esme finally left the room a few minutes later, they looked nearly as devastated as I felt. I knew that if it had been possible for vampires to cry, Esme would have been bawling, because one again she was losing a beloved child. As it was, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the nonexistent tears in Esme's eyes were far greater than any real tears a human could possess.

_I'm so sorry, Edward. I just wish there was something we could do,_ she thought in a subdued timbre. I made no note that I had heard her, I simply buried my face deeper between my knees and pressed my hands harder to my head.

_I will do everything in my power to make sure she survives,_ vowed Carlisle, and though I wholeheartedly believed him, I was not convinced it would be enough. I crouched into an even tighter heap on the floor, searching for my courage.

When they had gone, I sat outside for another few minutes to try and recompose myself before I returned to see my Bella. She lay silently on her bed, once again adorned in her hospital pajamas, with a sorrowful look saddening her angel face. Wordlessly, I repositioned myself on her bed and took her face in my hands, perhaps a bit too roughly. It was in her that I found my courage, and before Bella could process what I was even doing, I kissed her with all the desperation and sadness I possessed. Her fingers easily found their way into my hair and I relished the feeling.

Neither of us let go as first she, then I deepened the kiss more and more. I wasn't even remotely concerned with my self control, deep down I knew I could never hurt her and the burning in my throat was almost tolerable as I held her as close as I had ever held her before.

Her heart, as always when we kissed, was beating uncontrollably and when I realized that she would be completely out of air soon, I finally released her lips and began kissing her on the neck, then hands, then fingers.

"Edward," she whispered, speaking for the first time since I had entered the room.

"Yes Bella?"

"I'm so very sorry," she said, and I could almost touch the grief which emanated from her lips.

"Oh Bella, it's not your fault," I assured her as I wrapped her up, yet more securely in my arms. We sat like that together for a long time and I didn't let go of her the entire afternoon; not when nurses came in to administer tests or medicines, and not when my siblings came by after they got out of school.

I inhaled sharply when I heard Alice translating the Bible in her mind from Spanish to Chinese. I easily decided I didn't want to know about whatever vision Alice was hiding from me and I did my best to ignore her as she hugged Bella and sobbed tearlessly. Thanks to Alice, they were all aware that the surgery had been moved to today.

My family was having trouble finding words to convey their feelings and Jasper was struggling to deal with the morose emotions of our siblings coupled with his own.

"Please try not to be sad you guys," Bella said softly a few minutes after four o'clock. "I love you all so very much, and whatever happens, know that I will always love you, even if we're not together. You are my family and always have been," she finished. Her cheeks didn't even blush as she confessed her feelings for my family and Emmett was able to round up anything to say in response.

"Everything is going to be alright, Bella," he stated, only half-confidently. He was holding onto Rose for support, the pain on his face greater than I had ever seen.

I noticed Alice bow her head and grab onto Jasper in defeat with Emmett's words. She was doing a very good job of not thinking about whatever she was hiding from me, so I decided not to focus on her or distract her from her continued translating. I didn't want anything to slip, because I didn't want to know what she had seen, I was holding onto whatever little bit of hope that I could, and I didn't want to take the chance of losing that hope.

At 4:12 p.m. a green scrub wearing male nurse with slightly graying hair entered and introduced himself as Jonathon to my siblings and I before informing "Rachel" that it was time to prepare for surgery. Another reminder of the gravity of the situation was the fact that Rose didn't even bat an eye or flash a smile at the male nurse, one of her favorite types of admirers. She was as possessed with grief as the rest of us, and the male nurse Jonathon only a made a passing note of her perfected appearance.

For precautionary purposes, my family stepped out of the room when the nurse administered a shot of mycophenolate mofetil hydrochloride, a medication which I recognized would help Bella's body to accept the new heart in question. Carrying several medical degrees myself, it struck me as odd that Jonathon would give her this medicine ahead of time, so I had to ask, "Sir?" I questioned with as much politeness as I could muster.

He smiled at me somewhat dismissively as he finished the shot. Bella's face was completely pale but she didn't complain once before, during, or after the injection. "What can I do for you?" he asked, _my is she pale, and I can't even give her anything to bring the color back to her cheeks before the surgery. _

"I was simply curious about the injection you were giving her," I stated, hoping he would explain without me having to demonstrate how familiar I was with operating procedures.

"Oh were you interested in becoming a doctor or something when you grow up?" he asked, trying to figure out the reason for my question and doing a very bad job at it. _Kids always have to ask about every little thing when they're interested in the medical field, as if they'll remember half of this._

"Well not exactly," I admitted as politely as I could, but I was beginning to get impatient. "I was under the impression that mycophenolate," I abbreviated, "Usually wasn't administered until after the surgery was complete." I hoped that I hadn't said too much, but I needed to make sure that nothing would go wrong in this surgery.

_So I guess he's studied some medical arts after all,_ he thought reverently, _He seems like a pretty smart kid actually. If I had been that smart I probably would have been a doctor rather than a nurse,_ he mused for a moment, much to my annoyance, I was still waiting for my answer. "Well, I'm impressed, young man. Not very many people your age would be familiar with that fact. And you're absolutely correct, mycophenolate is usually administered post surgery and twice a day for the following two weeks, however Dr. Cullen insisted that it be introduced into her system as soon as possible in case there are complications," _And in case this young lady doesn't survive for a full two weeks post surgery_, he added, increasing my panic and terror.

I was satisfied enough with his answer though, if Carlisle had recommended it, then it was probably a good idea, if not completely genius. Two more hospital employees entered shortly thereafter. The older woman had black and silver hair tied back in a tight bun behind her head and she wore a face that seemed to refute any sort of nonsense. The younger man who walked in slightly behind her was wearing green scrubs to match Jonathon's and sporting a spiked blonde hairstyle. His mind was reeling with images of Rosalie sitting with the rest of family, paying him absolutely no mind. I instantly disliked him.

"Good afternoon, I'm Grace Woodson and I'll be chief nurse aiding Dr. Cullen with the procedure today," she introduced, mostly to Bella, her eyes purposefully avoiding contact with mine. "This is my assistant Bradley Grayson. If you have any questions I would be more than happy to answer them for you at this time," she finished, still avoiding my eye.

I seized the opportunity, because I had far too many. I needed to know the specifics of this operation, even if I more than disapproved of it. "Will you be using an analgesic anesthetic today, do you know?" I began what could have easily turned into a long stream of questions. I noticed Bella laugh a little at my question. I allowed my eyes to meet hers and smiled despite my state of utter terror because I simply had no choice when I saw the littlest bit of happiness distracting her from our current situation. I didn't know exactly why my question amused her, because I didn't know her thoughts, but I was glad to see she had regained a little of the color in her face with the humor.

Ms. Woodson finally met my eyes and gave me a once over, sizing me up, _Who is this kid and why is he in this room and sitting so close to my patient?_ "No we will not be using the analgesic this evening, Dr. Cullen insisted that we inject her with a strong opioid, separately to maximize pain reduction. And may I please ask what you are doing here exactly? Am I to assume you are her parent or her guardian?" she questioned pointedly. I very much admired her lack of tolerance for nonsense and I appreciated that she didn't even try to simplify her responses to my medical questioning due to my age.

"Ms. Augusta Christianson, Rachel's legal guardian was unable to be here prior to the operation, so she cleared me to stay with Rachel until she was ready to be treated," I lied smoothly. "And I assume you will be using a more fast-acting anesthetic to pair with the more potent opioid?" I ensured. It seemed Carlisle was trying to make sure Bella had the strongest painkiller available, the reasoning was beyond me though. It seemed a bit excessive really because it would probably keep Bella subdued for much longer than necessary for this operation.

Jonathon, Bradley, and Bella were all giving me incredulous looks. "How many medical degrees did you say you had?" whispered Bella so that only I could hear. I simply smiled and waited for my answer.

_I'll have to double check that story with Dr. Cullen before I let this young man anywhere near the operating room after the surgery, I don't care how charming he is. _If I hadn't been in such a terrible mood I probably would have laughed at that thought. I had actually unwittingly charmed this frigid woman by tossing so many medical terms at her with such ease. As it was Bella allowed another laugh of her own, quite possibly picking up on Ms. Woodson's affections. "You're absolutely correct young man, I was speaking with our anesthesiologist before I came here, and I believe they will be using Diprivan," she stated.

"Propofol?" I asked, using the chemical name for the drug.

_Oh my God, how old is this kid? Wow if I was just a few years younger, ah—_ and the no nonsense had woman cracked, I realized sourly. I was only using some basic second year terminology but she was acting as though I were the centerfold of M.D. weekly.

"And we'll be using Sublimaze for the opioid," she added helpfully.

"Wow, fentanyl when used correctly can be stronger than a double dose of morphine," I mused. Carlisle was being extremely thorough with the painkillers, not that I was about to complain, "You don't find that a bit excessive?" I finally voiced my question.

Ms. Woodson studied me carefully for a long moment before answering. _That is a bit excessive for this case, I agree completely. But how does _he_ know that? He doesn't even look old enough to be out of high school. But maybe he's older than he looks_, she thought hopefully. "Dr. Cullen's specifically asked for it, you may take it up with him if you would like," she said with false severity.

"No that's quite alright, I'm sure Dr. Cullen knows what's best," I admitted.

I actually heard one of my family members let out a laugh this time, most likely Emmett. I was glad to have effectively lightened the atmosphere in the room with Bella as well as out in the hall with Emmett and my family. I heard Jasper's thoughts from outside, thanking me for my efforts, but I hadn't actually tried to do anything funny, I simply wanted to know more about this procedure which I desperately wanted to turn out as positively as possible.

_Oh my, it's time to go, Rachel's supposed to ready for the anesthesiologist in 8 minutes. _"I'm afraid we're going to have to take Rachel now," sighed Ms. Woodson sadly, "There's a waiting room upstairs not too far from the operating room if you would like to come along," she informed me dutifully.

"Thank you very much ma'am," I responded. _Oh, so polite too. But so young, maybe I can introduce him to my niece Cynthia. I could just give him her number and have him give her a call or something._

Unfortunately, Ms. Woodson's thoughts were starting to annoy me just as badly as the rest of the nurses' in this hospital. I sighed and stood from the bed, trying to convince myself that this wasn't goodbye. I had been murderously devastated a few short hours ago, but being with Bella had given me the courage I needed to withstand the torture of Bella's surgery. I told myself that Bella would be fine, after all Carlisle knew what he was doing. He was quite possibly the best surgeon in the world with all of his experience. As I continued to try and assure myself of these thoughts I gave Bella a quick kiss on the forehead and told her how much I loved her. "I'll be in to see you as soon as they finish the surgery," I promised.

"I'll see you in a few hours," she said unconvincingly, and I froze when the tone of her voice sunk in. If I had had the capacity to become paler I probably would have because I had just realized that Bella herself didn't believe she was going to make it out of that operating room alive.

"Bella," I begged, "Please say it like you mean it."

She smiled at me tentatively, "Edward, you know I can't promise anything," she sighed, much to my disbelief, "What can I say? I'll try my best?"

The look I was giving her silenced her quickly. "Edward, I love you, and no matter what we'll see each other again, I promise you that much," she offered.

"Alright, see you soon my love," I said once again as I stood from her bed while the two male nurses helped her onto the gurney. I wondered randomly what had become of the broken gurney which I had destroyed outside earlier today. Perhaps Carlisle had had it removed.

Ms. Woodson and the two nurses looked onto Bella's and my heartfelt goodbye with sad hearts. I hoped beyond hope that they would take good care of my Bella and bring her back to me. I stayed behind in the room as the trio wheeled her out into the hall and to the ICU. I didn't need to follow because I already knew exactly where the waiting room Ms. Woodson had mentioned was located.

After a few minutes of solitude with my thoughts, I ventured outside to meet my siblings expectant gazes. "Shall we head upstairs?" I invited, with an attempt at optimism.

My attempt had been lost on them, and the hint of humor they had felt earlier was now completely gone. Gloomily, my four brothers and sisters followed me to the elevator, their minds as silent as their mouths, all except for Alice who was still translating rather than thinking. She had at some point during my stay in Bella's room moved to the New Testament.

We walked into the plain looking waiting room and sat in a corner by a large fish tank which seemed somewhat out of place in the otherwise completely sanitary hospital. I stared at the colorful fish inside dancing around for a few minutes dazedly until I decided that the tank was decidedly modern in appearance, so perhaps it did fit in well with the rest of the décor.

After another few minutes of silence, each of my siblings locked in their own broodings while I was forced to listen, Esme streamed into the room and joined our silent gathering. _Bella's just been put under and Christy is already being operated on by Dr. Minor. Carlisle will start on Bella in a few minutes,_ she informed me without speaking.

I nodded without saying a word, and my siblings didn't even bother asking what silent conversation had just taken place. The translations in Alice's mind were becoming louder and more frantic, until finally I became annoyed enough to beg for the revelation I had been dreading, "Alice, enough," I commanded, "Just tell me what you saw!"

Jasper glared at me while Rose, Emmett, and Esme simply stared at me in shock. Alice's translating ceased for half a second, but in that second I saw my worst nightmare come true.

It was Bella's operating room. Carlisle worked feverishly over her, she was already sewed up, the surgery had been completed and her heart was beating, but it beat too slowly. The vision faded out with the loud beeping sound which registered the lack of heart rate, the loss of life, and the end of my happiness. Bella was gone, once again.

**A/N The End.**

**Haha Just kidding. Anyway, I mentioned above that I would like to play a game, and if you're up for it, this game is called: "Alice!" Why? Because you have to look into the future of this story and guess the answer to this question (in a review lol). The question: Which already mentioned, though not yet introduced Twilight character is going to come into play within the next few chapters? (As in he/she is going to have a significant role in Bella's past). **

**So what're you waiting for? Select the review button below and make a guess! (I'm sorry if these directions were confusing. If you really want to play, but don't understand the rules send me a p/m and I'll be more than happy to do a better job of explaining… I'm struggling not to give too much away as it is). "What does the winner get?" you ask. Well besides eternal glory and bragging rights, the winner will also receive a congratulatory message from yours truly! (I know, tempting right?) **

**Oh and this game is dedicated to Skweekie because I like that she tried to guess what would happen in the story. ;)**


	16. Change of Heart

**A/N Guess what! I got over 50 reviews! Sooooo… I decided to post this newest addition today rather than waiting until Sunday. I never thought that would happen, I'm so shocked and honored, and thankful. I can't believe that not only are people actually reading this story, but everyone who has reviewed actually seems to like it! **

**And here I planned on making a much shorter A/N this time. Wupps.**

**Disclaimer: My name is Lauren, not Stephanie. Never have I been so sad about that fact, because S.M is my hero for writing her wonderful stories and creating her wonderful characters. No I don't hold her accountable for me wasting so much of my life on this site, but I'll go ahead and give her credit for the characters, underlying plot, and interesting ideas all of which are based on Twilight. **

**I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 16 – EPOV

I was up and running toward the door before the vision had even finished. The lone human in the room didn't notice me stand or tear toward the door, but he looked up curiously when Emmett and Jasper collided with me, sounding far too much like boulders crashing down a cliff.

"Edward, what the Hell?" whispered Emmett furiously as Jasper tried to calm me. _There's a damn human in the room, do you want to blow our cover?_

Jasper, Esme, and Rosalie's thoughts were also concerned with the human, but Alice was simply starring at me with her mouth agape.

When I saw her, my anger exploded to the surface. "Why didn't you tell me?" I screamed. The human hadn't lost interest yet, but he had already written us off as a group of obnoxious and hormone driven teenagers.

"What could you have done Edward?" she countered, _Bella wanted this, she wants to save Christy. I thought you had already accepted…_ her thoughts trailed off as she took in my furious, devastated face.

Emmett and Jasper still grasped me tightly, restraining me. Jasper had figured out what was going on quickly. He knew that Alice had been hiding something from me, and based on my reaction coupled with my horrified emotions, it wasn't too hard to connect the dots. He still was attempting to prevent me from doing something stupid apparently, much to my chagrin.

"There has to be something," I pleaded, already feeling like I had lost her, Esme looked as though she could have been sick as she started to catch on as well.

Alice's downtrodden expression and thoughts gave me no comfort. "Care to tell us what's going on?" asked Emmett, not bothering to hide his annoyance.

"It's Bella," explained Jasper quietly so that the human wouldn't hear, "She's not going to make it out of the surgery," he informed stoically.

With that, Emmett's restraining arm dropped violently and he turned to stare at Alice. "You're sure?" he whispered, pain littering his voice.

Alice didn't acknowledge, but allowed her face to fall just the tiniest bit as Esme reached over to comfort her. Emmett collapsed into the seat next to where Rosalie had been seated just moments ago. Now it was my turn to stare in confusion, "Where's Rose?" I asked at the same moment that Emmett realized she was no longer present.

A vision filled Alice's mind, then mine less than half a second later. Rose was charming the male nurse named Bradley into allowing her entrance to the surgical operation area, just outside of Bella's room.

Alice and I were out the door to the waiting room and heading down the hall almost before the vision had finished. Jasper was on our tails, never one to question Alice's motives after a vision. Emmett followed, in search of Rose, and Esme made up the caboose of our fast moving procession, indecisive about the next course of action.

_Bella will not die today_, she kept chanting in her head. Before long I was chanting it in mine as well. We came to a halt just outside the doors to the corridor which housed Bella's room. Esme made her way to the front of the family and typed her pass code so that the door would open in the exact place Alice and I had seen Rosalie in the vision.

Esme swiftly grabbed my arm and instructed the others to wait behind so we wouldn't look too suspicious. Alice looked as if she had been asked to cut off her own arm, _She can't expect me to just wait here!_

"Esme, you can't be serious," Alice begged.

Esme encircled her in a strong hug and apologized with all of her heart. "If you have another vision, make sure to concentrate on it so that Edward might be able to pick up on it," she instructed.

"But—," Alice tried to argue. It was effectively the first time I had ever seen Alice lose an argument and I knew it was only because she was so upset. Jasper wrapped an arm around her and tried to lead her back toward the waiting room. Alice didn't budge, but I had no time to wait. I closed in for a quick hug and apology of my own, _don't let it come true_, she pleaded silently.

"I'm not leaving here without her," I vowed as I turned to leave with Esme. She led the two of us down a short hallway and made a left at the end. We stopped in front of an ordinary looking swipe key access door. I could hear the thoughts of Carlisle and several of the other nurses within.

From around the corner, I could hear Rosalie's thoughts as she tried to figure out a way to charm herself into the room. I followed her thoughts around the bend and came to a large window with a rear view of the operation. I gaped for a moment at what I saw before I was able to speak. Carlisle was now working on Christy while Dr. Minor assisted. A female nurse I didn't recognize was using an electric pump on Bella so I was left to assume that Bella's heart had already been removed.

"What should we do?" I asked her as Esme finally approached and stood beside us.

_What, you actually want to keep her around now?_ Rosalie scoffed and I easily stifled my growl. Now was not the time. "How should I know, I don't even know how to get into the room without simply breaking down one of these walls."

I eyed the walls for a moment, calculating. I knew exactly how much force to exert to break through the wall, but I didn't want to scare away the attendants who were working on Bella. I needed her alive, "I don't think we should do that," I said, unhelpfully.

_I wonder if Carlisle can hear us_, thought Esme. I eyed her meaningfully for a moment, then tapped on the glass. Carlisle flinched the slightest bit but didn't turn to face us, his mind registered the sound but he chose to ignore it because humans were not supposed to hear those sorts of sounds.

"Yes, he can definitely hear the knocking," I concluded.

"Carlisle can you hear us?" Esme said in a voice that was slightly louder than conversational. I saw him twitch the littlest bit once again and heard the affirmation in his thoughts.

"He's wondering who 'us' is, in addition to Esme," I answered for him.

_Was that Edward?_ He thought in the part of his mind that wasn't occupied with the surgery. We watched in mortification mixed with awe as Carlisle finished removing Christy's heart, then reached for Bella's without a moment's pause.

"Yes it's me," I said, using the same number of sound decibels as Esme, "Rosalie is here as well," I added.

_Rosalie's here? What's wrong, how did you get in here? Did Alice see something? _He wondered, clearly worried. His worry was too deep though, he was not simply worried that Bella would not survive. Carlisle was worried about something else altogether, I couldn't tell for sure, but was it _being found out_?

Disregarding his inner turmoil for a moment, I searched for the ability to speak. "It's Bella," I croaked, "She's—," but my voice trailed off, I just couldn't finish, the words were too dark.

Luckily Rose was able to say it for me, allowing the panic in her voice to reverberate in the room, "Carlisle, she's not going to make it. You have to do something!" she finished. A nurse eyed us suspiciously after Rosalie's outburst, but kept walking. She was late and didn't have time to question the fact that we were here inside the ICU.

Rose eyed me tentatively for a moment when all had grown silent again. She wrapped a supportive arm around my shoulder and I was once again shocked by how absurdly motherly she had become, how caring she had become. Esme's thoughts were flowing down the same path as mine and her heart elated the tiniest bit with her daughter's display of kindness.

_I have a plan_, Carlisle thought purposefully as he imagined a metal syringe in his pocket.

"He says he has a plan?" I conveyed with confusion to the rest of my family. I allowed the details of the dreadful vision I had first seen in Alice's head to fill my mind once again as I considered Carlisle's intentions with the metal syringe. Milliseconds before the beeping had started in the vision, Carlisle had injected Bella's chest with the metal syringe filled with some unknown liquid.

Augusta Christianson walked up just as I realized that the metal syringe might have in fact lead to the beeping of the monitor indicating a failed heart. Regardless, I assumed there had to be some sort of connection. I couldn't speak to Carlisle directly because Augusta was there, but I had to figure out this plan he had hatched.

A few torturous minutes passed while Rosalie, Esme, Augusta, and I stared on in silence, all placing our trust in Carlisle as he worked. _What are they all doing here anyway, I didn't think anyone but employees or legal guardians were allowed back here,_ Augusta wondered halfheartedly. She was too concerned with her daughter to really focus on us so she only thought about the three of us dismissively, and of that at least, I was glad.

We all waited impatiently as Carlisle made quick work of stitching Christy back together with Bella's heart in place. I watched as her heart monitor stabilized and Carlisle turned to Bella, mentally preparing himself for whatever was about to go wrong.

_I'm not going to let her die_, he thought,_ I simply won't do it. _Again he pictured the syringe in his pocket and my brain began to swirl. What was in the syringe?

At that point I had to speak, I had to let him know, "Save her Carlisle," I called desperately through the glass. Augusta was too relieved with the status of her daughter to even care that I was talking to somebody who supposedly couldn't hear me. "Do _everything_ in your power," I begged cryptically, knowing he would understand. I remembered Carlisle claiming earlier today that he would indeed do whatever he could to save her, but now I was asking for something different and I hoped that my choice of words would alert Carlisle to my change of heart.

The words, in fact, were very similar to the ones my mother had spoken to Carlisle before she died. It had been these words which had made him decide to bring me into my new life as a vampire. And now I was asking the same for Bella.

The slight smile on Carlisle's face didn't mesh well with my mother's memory as it replayed in his mind. However, it did mesh well with the one on mine when I realized he had understood. Perhaps he had understood all along. It seemed everyone in my family, save for me, had understood from the beginning that I was physically unable to let her go.

Rosalie's grip on my arm tightened nervously as we watched Carlisle move toward Bella. "Forceps please," we heard Carlisle ask so quietly of the nearest nurse. She handed him the tool and he began.

The next half hour was unbearably tense as Carlisle put Bella back together and stitched her up. Her pulse never steadied the way Christy's did and I realized as Carlisle began working feverishly over her that the scene from Alice's vision was beginning to play out. _The _mycophenolate _didn't work_, Carlisle thought sourly. _But I can't let her die, I have to save her. I'm so sorry Bella, I hope that you don't regret this decision._

I studied him carefully and desperately as Carlisle whipped the metal syringe out of his pocket faster than a lightning strike. None of the nurses questioned him as he inserted it directly into her heart. At that moment I felt a new vision fill my mind and cloud my sight, accompanied by Alice's thoughts. I was surprised I could pick them up for as far away as we were, but I didn't question it.

The vision was one I had seen before, Bella standing arm and arm with Alice, their skin matching tones of alabaster white. It was the clearest I had ever seen and I gasped out loud, garnering the attention of the three women around me. I almost missed it when Carlisle unhitched the heart monitor from Bella's finger and tied it to his own, it was that fast. I gasped again as the monitor began beeping loudly signaling a lack of pulse.

Things continued happening quickly after that. Nurse Woodson and her assistant Nurse Grayson were scrambling around the room doing whatever Carlisle asked. He continued working over her as the monitor beeped, but I knew he was not doing anything productive. He was putting on an act.

Dr. Minor grabbed the pace maker from the corner of the room and rushed over to Carlisle's side, preparing to restart her heart. With a morose shake of his head and an extended finger though, Carlisle stopped him. Even with my strong ears, I could hardly make out the doctor's words, so instead I listened to his mind. _Such a brave little girl, I guess I sort of knew she wouldn't make it,_ he thought sadly,_ such a shame_.

I continued staring tensely through the window. Rosalie and Esme, like all of the humans around hadn't noticed the slight movements of Bella's painfully slow breaths. Nervously I listened to Carlisle's thoughts, verifying what I had just witnessed. Carlisle had just faked Bella's death.

_It's done Edward, there's no going back,_ he thought, knowing I would be listening intently._ The syringe was filled with venom which I injected straight into her heart. She has enough __Propofol and fentanyl__ in her system to keep her quiet for a little while, but we need to get her home as soon as possible. I'm not positive of the effects of the drugs with the venom, but I sincerely hope the fentanyl will fight off the pain, at least a little bit. I wish there had been another way,_ he sighed internally and I agreed wholeheartedly as the realization of what we had just done began to sink in.

I felt ill all the way to my core. I couldn't believe I had been so selfish. I had just stolen my Bella's last chance at Heaven and forced her to spend the rest of eternity confined to this Earth. I realized that she would surely resent me, if not hate me now. I deserved to be hated, there was no doubt about that.

My hands were pressed to the glass in my guilt and Rosalie and Esme's arms were still wrapped around me, trying to comfort me. They had fallen for the charade and they still thought she was dead. Augusta's hand was placed firmly over her mouth, thinking the same. _No,_ she thought. _No! Rachel! Oh no, no, no, I'm so sorry Rachel. Oh Rachel no how could I have let this happen? _Augusta lamented in her mind as she realized that 'Rachel' was no longer alive. _Thank you so much, you saved my daughter's life. I only wish I could have saved yours,_ she finished sadly, _I'll never forget you_.

Esme and Rosalie were staring at Carlisle's still form by Bella's bedside. A mixture of tortured regret and pained sadness filled their minds. _I should have done something,_ thought Rosalie. _We let this opportunity pass, and now we may never see her again. And oh what of Edward? How will he ever survive this time? _

_Oh no sweet Bella. I'm so sorry Edward. _Esme's thoughts choked off with silent sobs from within her soul. I carefully placed my arms around each of them in turn and whispered so that only they could hear, "It's alright. Carlisle saved her," I finished.

Esme's gasped and actually sobbed out loud this time, _Oh he must be in denial_, she thought morosely.

"I'm not in denial," I answered again almost silently, "The metal syringe he injected into her heart was filled with venom," I explained, "Her heart monitor is attached to his finger right now, not hers.

The three of us and Augusta continued watching the activity on the other side of the glass as two nurses wheeled Christy out of the room and the other two began preparing to report 'Rachel's' death. _You're certain?_ Asked Rosalie.

I nodded in response, and spoke almost silently again, "Look closely at her chest, she's still breathing," I instructed. As they did, their thoughts exploded with happiness but I remained stoic. I couldn't bring myself to smile right now for so many reasons. Assuming everything went successfully, Bella was about to go through the worst pain she had ever felt or imagined. I had just denied my heroic love's straight shot to Heaven, and instead forced her to face Hell. There was no doubt in my mind that she would hate me.

Rosalie and Esme didn't seem to have the same qualms as I did, however. They were trying unsuccessfully to hide their excitement as we watched Carlisle swiftly place the heart monitor's extension back together with the machine as he turned it off. Next he signed off on all of the electronic paper work which Nurse Woodson presented to him on one of the clip board laptops.

In the meantime, the other two nurses prepared to leave the room. From their thoughts I could hear that they were anxious to get away from this traumatic and heartbreaking scene. Augusta left us without a word as well, hoping to catch up to Dr. Minor and the nurses which had taken her daughter.

Rose, Esme, and I remained still while we watched Carlisle ask for a minute alone with Rachel's body. Nurse Woodson gave him a questioning look and he simply explained that she had been like a daughter to him. Her thoughts grew even sadder and she wisely stepped out to give him some peace. In reality he needed to get Bella out of that room and out of the hospital and that would be impossible with the nurses hanging around.

_Alright Edward, you know what to do,_ Carlisle thought as soon as Ms. Woodson was gone. Esme, Rose, and I were back at the door waiting for Carlisle to let us in before he had even finished his thought. "Alright guys, I've got another gurney down the hall in the stock room. I swiped it earlier from the cancer ward. Unfortunately Edward felt the need to punch a hole in it," he said quickly. He didn't even pause to give me a full look of disappointment after calling me out about the broken gurney.

Esme and Alice went to retrieve the gurney and a list of other medical supplies which Carlisle had stashed in there and I followed him back into the room to see my Bella. The first thing I heard when I entered the room was her incredibly slow heart rate which caused me to cringe and smile at the same time. I was relieved to hear it at all, but the slowness made me nervous and at the same time I knew that the remainder of her heartbeats was numbered, but I tried not to think too much about that, I had more pressing issues to deal with at the moment.

"So you just happened to have a syringe filled with venom in your pocket as well as a gurney and medical supplies waiting for us?" I asked Carlisle sarcastically.

"Please Edward, now is not the time. We need to get her out of here. I need to change some of this paperwork to show that her body was already taken to the morgue. Start detaching her breathing mask and the IV," he commanded evenly.

I finished the task in no time at all. Esme and Rosalie returned with the gurney and supplies soon after and in less than a minute Bella was loaded onto the partially repaired gurney and we were on our way out toward the elevator. Bella made no movements besides the shallow intake of breath, and I felt as though my nerves would kill me.

Suddenly we heard a loud crashing noise behind us and the four of us stopped and searched for the source of the noise. I heard Emmett's thoughts, _Keep moving Edward, Alice saw some nurses walking your way and she sent me to distract them. Alice and Jasper are down in the parking garage, you shouldn't have any more trouble the rest of the way, get going!_

I quickly relayed the message to Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie and we continued our journey at a much faster rate now, more assured that no humans would intercept us. The elevator ride was slow and daunting, but once we made it to the bottom we followed Carlisle down a seemingly deserted hallway to a back entrance of the garage.

_Stop!_ Shouted both Jasper and Alice in their minds, motioning toward a video camera overhead. _Edward, you need to take Bella and run along the side wall there until you find the exit, then don't stop running until you get home. Tell Carlisle he needs to sign off from his shift, otherwise he will raise suspicion. Esme and Rosalie will wait for Emmett and ride with Carlisle back to the house. Toss me your keys, Jasper and I will sign your car out of the lot and meet you at the house. _

Once again, I relayed the unspoken message to my three companions, then carefully lifted Bella from the gurney. _What about her supplies?_ Wondered Carlisle,_ I have some extra Fentonyl and an IV bag here, ask Alice what she thinks. _

"Carlisle has some medical supplies for Bella," I whispered to Alice and Jasper across the garage. They stood in plain view of the camera, but it didn't look like they were speaking to anybody, I knew we were safe.

_It's unnecessary_, Alice thought in response,_ Bella won't need any of those things. Tell him to stash that stuff in the nearest store room and get home as soon as possible._

"Get rid of the supplies, she won't need any of it," I told Carlisle quietly. I didn't wait for a response this time though, I had Bella in my arms and it was time to get home.

I sprinted out of the garage at a speed that would be nearly invisible to a human. The breeze blowing through my hair helped distract me from the dried blood on my Bella's body and helped me to escape the terrifying moment I was living in. The partially cloudy skies from earlier today had cleared, but fortunately the sun was already below the horizon so I didn't have to worry about my skin's diamond like luminosity drawing undesired attention.

I didn't worry too much about being seen while I ran through the cool evening. Bella and I were covered by the magnificent blue tint which melted out of the sky and soaked into the ground just before nightfall. I could see the faint light of the recent sunset to the west and I felt the state of rushed panic I had found myself in gently being soothed by my surroundings. It was Twilight, that blue hour in between day and night and I reveled in it. This was my favorite time of day, but I knew the night which stretched out before us would not be over until I could be certain that my Bella would be alright.

I cringed again at the thought of the pain she must surely be suffering and felt the need to apologize to my poor Bella. In less than a minute's time, my worries had returned in full force because she was so quiet and still, it made me nervous. I knew she would be screaming if the pain had started, I remembered watching Rosalie, Esme, and Emmett go through the torture of transformation. Those were not good days, but they were exactly what was in store for Bella.

I couldn't bear to imagine any longer what she would be going through thanks to what we had done to her. I remembered with perfect clarity the fiery Hell which encompassed me during those three longest days of my life when I was transformed, but I also remembered that I had been anything but silent. So why was she so quiet now? What if something had gone wrong in the operating room? I wished more than anything that I could hear her thoughts, if she was going to suffer I wanted to suffer as well. She must unquestionably hate me.

My worrying only served to increase my speed as I tore through the near night time darkness. I silently prayed and hoped that Carlisle had been right about the pain killers. Perhaps they were helping her evade the fire which would be otherwise swimming through her veins. Maybe the combination of the painkillers and anesthetics in her system were keeping her quiet. I could smell the Propofol and fentanyl still present in her bloodstream. I hated how the drugs altered the flavor of her blood, yet at the same time I was grateful for the added incentive not to bite her. Even now I found my self control being tested as I rushed home, the monster in me almost growling in frustration because the scent of her blood would soon be gone forever.

Oh what a horrible person I was. Bella, the love of my life, had nearly died today, had lost her chance at Heaven, and was about to experience pain beyond imagine for three days nonstop. Yet I selfishly continued to think about my own thirst and the pain I was feeling in the back of my throat as I carried her home.

"I'm so sorry Bella," I whispered, expelling all thoughts of thirst from my mind. I lithely prepared to leap over the small stream near the beginning of our property and I leaned in once again to whisper in her ear, "I just couldn't live without you," I said more loudly, hoping she would understand.

When I finally reached the house, I threw open the front door and carried her upstairs to our bedroom. As I placed her as gently as possible on the bed, I heard the distinctive sound of my nearly silent Volvo engine parking in the garage out front.

Less than a minute later Alice and Jasper were in the room with me, each toting some of Bella's possessions which had been in her room at the hospital. Jasper quickly excused himself when he smelt the dried blood on Bella, but Alice stayed behind to get her cleaned and changed.

Having nowhere else to go, I followed Jasper out into the living room to allow Alice and Bella some privacy. _Please Edward, you're making me so nervous. You have no reason to be this anxious, everything will be fine,_ thought Jasper moments before he focused with all of his might on being calm and allowing me to feel some peace.

"Jasper, how can we know that for sure?" I questioned, "She's so quiet and her heart rate is so low still. What if something has gone wrong, I've never heard of venom being injected with a needle? What if something happens with that heart, it isn't even hers! And what if she hates me?" I continued, despite the waves of calm Jasper kept releasing for my benefit.

"The fact that her heart is still beating right now is proof that the venom has taken effect, and the surgery was successful, for our purposes at least. I cannot explain the silence, but if you honestly think that Bella will in any way hate you when she wakes up, then I have no choice but to doubt the fact that you have ever even met her," he stated confidently. _But I suppose if I was in your situation and it was Alice, I might be a bit more anxious_, he thought emphatically.

"How is Alice dealing with the latest turn of events," I wondered, effectively changing the subject.

"Much better since she saw the vision of Bella as vampire again," he responded with hints of hopefulness shining in his voice. _That vision had gotten a little hazy for a while when you were so determined to keep her human. Throughout the past week, Alice's vision has been undulating back and forth between weak and strong as each member of our family decided they were going to try to keep Bella. Apparently it has never been as strong or as imminent as it was today._

"So I assume you will be putting your faith in Alice?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Always have," _Always will_, he trailed off when we heard the sounds of Carlisle and the rest of the family pulling down the driveway. Rosalie came bounding gracefully through the door moments later. She wrapped her arms around me, and very nearly let out an Alice worthy squeal. Her happiness was so complete.

Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme followed shortly thereafter, triumphant thoughts filling their minds as well. _We did it, we saved her! Edward, you have your Bella, everything is going to be okay! And soon we can finally leave this wretched town and move on to somewhere we can actually inhabit during the day time. _Rosalie's thoughts were more joyful than I had ever heard from her since the time we saved Emmett. She was eager to point out the parallels in this situation, saving the one you love by changing them.

Though Jasper easily picked up on and relished her mood, I couldn't bring myself to smile. "Yes, but at what cost to Bella, Rosalie?" I asked pointedly. "Bella was at the gateway to Heaven and we effectively tore her away and forced her to face three days of Hell and an everlasting purgatory instead," I admonished.

Esme answered this time, "Edward honey, do you honestly think you will still consider this eternal life we face a purgatory if you get to spend it with Bella at your side?" she asked, allowing her thoughts to linger on the happiness she felt with Carlisle.

"But, she will hate me!" I argued, knowing better than to answer that question, "How could she not?"

Alice answered me from the top of the first flight of stairs this time, "Because she loves you Edward. Probably a lot more than you give her credit for. By the way her heart rate is beginning to sound much more regular, and you're welcome to go up now if you would like," she smiled as she danced to the bottom step and grabbed Jasper's hand above her head as she pirouetted in happiness.

I still refused to smile in return, but I dashed up the stairs immediately with Carlisle on my heels. I knelt by Bella's bedside and took her hand in mine as Carlisle examined her, listening closely to her heart rate. _I can't believe it worked. A diseased heart and it is working with the venom nonetheless. What a miracle!_

I had to agree with him, despite my view on the situation. It was a complete and total miracle that Bella's body had not only accepted the new heart but that it continued beating. "How did you come up with the idea to insert the venom through a syringe?" I finally asked.

He chuckled then finally responded, "I was thinking about the possible uses for mycophenolate this morning as I tried to imagine every possible and impossible way I could to save her when I found out we would be performing the surgery today. Basically, I realized that I needed to use creative and unorthodox methods to save her just after I came up with the idea for the mycophenolate injection prior to the surgery as compared to afterward. The injection idea spurred from that, and I figured that if I inserted it straight into the heart, the veins and arteries connecting the heart to the rest of the body would be fixed first."

"Brilliant," I muttered, believing nothing less, but unable to place proper enthusiasm behind my words.

"Hardly," he responded, modestly.

"So the venom injection was a backup plan?" I asked curious again about his readiness for the whole situation.

"Indeed. I decided a Plan B would be most prudent because I had no intentions of letting her die today," he admitted.

"I see," I stated vacuously, now much more concerned with watching Bella's every breath than continuing our conversation.

Several minutes passed and we did nothing but stare in reverent silence at the beautiful girl before us. I could still smell traces of the drugs in her bloodstream, and that stirred another round of questions.

"Why is she so quiet? Will she be alright?" I demanded, doubting that Carlisle actually had an answer.

"I'm not sure, but I suppose it has something to do with the Propofol," he mused.

"Most likely," I agreed flatly, "How much pain is she in?" I begged to know.

"We don't know for certain she is even in any pain. Modern medicine has come a long way, perhaps it is effective even against vampire venom," he tried to assure me.

I wasn't convinced, but it was a nice thought. Maybe she wasn't in any pain whatsoever. I examined her body once again, searching for physical manifestations of her pain. She looked lovely as always in the outfit Alice had dressed her in. I sighed, _Thank God for Alice,_ what would have happened if Alice hadn't had those visions today? I shuddered to think that we might have lost my Bella today without her. I broke the state of silence in the room once again, "Thank you Alice, for everything," I said softly, knowing she would hear me, Carlisle smiled.

"You're welcome," she whispered as she opened the door and reentered the room to watch and wait with Carlisle and I. _She's my sister, I would do whatever it takes to save her._

"And Edward," she said out loud for Carlisle's benefit, "Everything is going to turn out alright, so you can quit freaking out," _Just look_, she commanded with her thoughts. I watched as a wonderful vision took over my mind. We were all standing around this very room. The sun was on the eastern Horizon, and it was a clear day outside. As soon as the bottom edge of the sun crossed the horizon, Bella's eyes opened.

Finally I smiled, "Thank you for that," I said softly.

"She's going to be perfect," Alice continued.

"She always has been," I almost growled, causing Alice to giggle.

**A/N Slightly better ending then last chapter? ;) I know you guys are excited about what finally just happened. So leave me some love! (aka Review)**

**About our game, ("Alice!") most people guessed Jacob, and I'm sad to say that's not it. I had one really, REALLY close answer, so if you want a hint, just look through the reviewed answers for the one that is not Jacob lol. **

**And for those who are curious, HECK NO THIS IS NOT OVER! ;)**

**When did my A/N's get soooo long?**


	17. The Gift

**A/N Hello and welcome to Chapter 17! **

**The journey is nowhere near complete, so fasten your seatbelt and try to enjoy the road ahead.**

**Apology: I'm going to go ahead and make a preemptive apology for what you are about to read, based solely on content, not grammar/punctuation/etc. I hope I don't lose any of you after you read this chapter… It's probably going to make a few people unhappy. I promise, this has been the plan all along, and it's necessary for this story.**

**Disclaimer: I ain't Stephanie Meyer. And ain't ain't a word, so I ain't gonna use it to tell you that Edward, Bella, Alice, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and all of our favorite characters, well they just ain't mine. And the whole vampire plot? Yep you guessed it, I borrowed that as well. Tragic.**

**On to the story: (Sorry I get so carried away with these A/N's I know nobody really cares lol)**

Chapter 17 – EPOV

"Alice!" I shouted, much louder than necessary. Still she came running, a perturbed look plastered on her perfectly featured face, I'd hardly spoken to anyone lately since the night we brought Bella home.

"Edward what is it?" she asked, "Is something happening?"

"No Alice, nothing is happening," I scowled, "But why?" I asked, hoping beyond hope she had an answer, "Why is nothing happening, it's been over three days since we changed her, but not a peep has escaped her lips, she hasn't even moved, why?" It wasn't the first time I had demanded these answers, but it was the first time I had demanded them of Alice. I was beyond desperate because it was Saturday night, and Bella had been as unmoving as a statue since I placed her here in this bed.

As for the other members of my family, Carlisle had suggested that perhaps, the painkillers had been effective, and Bella was actually not feeling any pain. I heard the doubt in his mind before he had even finished speaking, though. He as well as I knew that there were no more drugs in Bella's blood stream. Jasper was no help either. He had never heard of such a silent change, nor one that lasted over three days.

Wearily, Alice focused on Bella, and her eyes glazed over as she began searching the future. The same vision of Bella waking up played through her mind, and I tried to take comfort in it, the way I had Wednesday night. The future hadn't changed at all, and that was a good thing, because Bella would be fine, but there were still so many questions left unanswered.

"When?" I asked, "This should have happened already," I added.

_Yeah, and the Denali's should have arrived by now as well, but I only see the future, I can't control when it happens,_ she thought to herself, before giving me an answer, "Soon, at sunrise I think."

"I nearly forgot the Denali's were coming," I said remotely. It was 9 hours and 34 minutes until sunrise, and Bella would be in pain until then, because of me. She would probably hate me, and why did the Denali's have to come now? And now I was calling them the Denali's, they hadn't lived in Denali in decades, my thoughts froze for a moment, as I realized another unhappy thought, "Tanya's coming?"

"They all are," she responded, another vision of their arrival filling both of our minds, "Tanya, Irina, Kate, and her new 'friend' Garrett, Carmen, and _Eleazar_," she finished, I heard the emphasis her mind put on Eleazar's name, which her voice did not.

"Alice?" I questioned, staring at her pointedly, "Eleazar?" I asked, knowing she would understand my question, all thoughts of having to face Tanya again forgotten.

"What about him?" she questioned, a bit too innocently.

"You tell me," I answered.

"It's just, you can't read Bella's mind," she stated lamely, _maybe she has some sort of gift which was already manifesting itself while she was human._

"You think Eleazar will be able to tell us if Bella has a gift?" I asked, a new curiosity filling me. What if Bella was gifted? What could her gift be?

"Well," she deliberated, "He's able to tell if everybody else has a gift, I don't see why not."

"Interesting," was all I managed to say, as a tiny flick in one of Bella's fingers grabbed my attention. "Bella?" I called, flitting to her side and cradling the once again immobile hand. "Bella, honey, it's alright. Everything will be okay soon," I said, hoping I was right. "Bella can you hear me?" I asked. She didn't move or acknowledge me at all.

Alice stood by my side, equally enthralled by the movement. _She looks different already_, Alice thought to herself, as she catalogued the differences in Bella's appearance. Somehow, I hadn't noticed the change, perhaps it was because I was watching her the whole time, but as I pictured Bella's human form and compared it to her appearance now, I gasped.

She was paler, that much was certain, but there was a new symmetry to her features which I hadn't noticed before. Her long eyelashes seemed even more pronounced, her upper lip, more pouty, her slight frame, more toned, and somehow she looked more graceful. She had always been the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, but now her beauty was different, it was much more obvious. Anyone who had missed how beautiful she was before would be unable to miss it now. Alice sighed, "Rose is going to be jealous, I think."

I couldn't help but smirk at that remark, "As she should be," I said, somewhat smugly. Alice was anxious and now just as unwilling to leave Bella's side as I was, so she stayed with me in the room as we waited out the nine and a half hours until Bella would awaken. We were mostly silent, each locked in our own thoughts as the time drug by, but occasionally we would talk about something that seemed important.

We discussed moving at one point, which would be inevitable once Bella woke up. It pained me to admit, but Bella would be at least somewhat of a crazed newborn, and humans would not be safe around her. Carlisle had already unregistered the rest of my siblings at Glen Ellyn Hills High School, citing a job opening at a hospital in California as the reason for our move. In reality we were looking for a place in Alaska or northern Canada, somewhere remote, possibly with a high population of polar bears and arctic wolves.

Alice proclaimed again and again that Bella would not hate me, that she would not even resent me, or Carlisle for that matter, just as none of us resented Carlisle for changing us. I tried to take comfort in her words, but I still had a hard time believing Bella would be happy with me after I stole her from Heaven's gates, out of my own selfishness.

I didn't let go of Bella's hand as the hours progressed slowly. I hoped that she was able to take some sort of comfort from my presence, the way I took comfort from hers. I hoped beyond hope that she would be alright, and I wished I could take away the pain I had inflicted upon her.

The continuous chant in the back of my head proceeded toward the front as I saw the blue hue of twilight outside. _It's almost over, it's almost over, she's going to be fine_, I repeated over and over in my head_._ It was nearly sunrise, which meant Bella would be awake soon, if Alice's vision was to come true.

"Edward, do you hear that?" Alice asked suddenly, breaking our latest period of silence.

I nodded, with wide eyes trained on Bella's face. Her breathing was heavy and her heart rate was beginning to speed faster than the rate of a normal human being. "Carlisle!" I called evenly, knowing he would hear me.

He was inside the room in less than a second, Jasper on his heels with a concerned expression on his face. "Listen," I commanded simply. As they ascertained the hyperactivity of her heart, realization hit them at nearly the same instant.

"It's almost over," Carlisle answered, stealing a line from my earlier chanting.

Alice's eyes glazed over momentarily, and the vision of Bella waking up became even more pronounced. "Soon," Alice agreed eagerly, "I'll go get the others," she sang as she leapt out of the chair she had been inhabiting for the past nine hours, then dashed down the stairs and outside.

Jasper's thoughts were much more wary than Carlisle's. He had seen too many uncontrolled newborns attack upon first waking up. "Do you think it's a good idea for everyone to be here when she wakes up?" he asked Carlisle pointedly.

Carlisle simply shrugged, "I think it will be fine," he answered, eyes on Bella's face as well. Her breathing had picked up as her heart rate continued to speed out of control.

Bella's back arched out of the bed, and I cried out for the pain she was surely feeling. I knew this was the worst part, the fire in her veins warring with her failing heart. As she slumped back down, her heart rate sped even more, it was almost an even sounding buzz. I grasped her hand even tighter.

I hardly took notice of the rest of my family as they entered the room. Jasper had Emmett positioned by his side in a protective stance, keeping the others behind. I was too absorbed with Bella's strife to allow my annoyance at their behavior to show.

The heart rate continued to speed for a few minutes as my family anxiously stood just inside the doorway waiting. With her heart beating too fast and too strong like a helicopter's blades, I was taken aback when there was an abrupt and hollow thud in Bella's chest. I felt relief begin swimming through my veins when I realized that the fire was finally extinguished. Her heart beat twice more before complete silence filled the room. Nobody was breathing, talking, or thinking. Everyone simply stared at her in anticipation.

For too long she remained still, completely quiet on the bed, and I instantly felt my relief evaporate as more than ever I began to worry that something was wrong. "Bella?" I asked timidly, "Bella, honey, are you alright?"

Slowly her eyes opened and she stared straight above her at the ceiling. The look on her face was concentrated and I casually wondered if I could hear her thoughts. I tried listening, but I was greeted by nothing but silence. I had to know what she was thinking though, I had to know if she hated me.

"Bella?" I tried again. Her blood red eyes zipped over to meet mine in response to her name, the concentration faded and a more dazed look filled her features. Next she looked down at our still grasped hands, and a slight smile threatened her lips as she sat up on the bed. _Oh Bella, please tell me you're alright_, I pleaded in my head.

"It's ok Edward, I'm alright," she said, as if answering my thoughts. Her voice was so different, but still perfect. It sounded like wind chimes on a warm summer evening. "Does this mean—," she cut off as her red eyes travelled over to our family curiously.

"Oh Bella," I whispered, "I'm so sorry," I apologized desperately. I knew that I shouldn't have changed her, I never meant to put her through such pain.

Immediately, she whipped her hand away from mine and flipped out of bed with grace that surprised everyone in the family. She landed perfectly on the balls of her feet before allowing the high heels of her shoes to touch the ground. She turned to face me and almost glared at me, with hurt written all over her face. "You didn't have to do it," she whispered. My family looked on with as much confusion as I felt, "If you weren't sure you wanted me forever, you didn't have to change me," she continued, the pain on her face threatened to tear me apart. I reached out to her, but she stepped back.

Aghast and confused, I stared at her and willed myself to speak, "Bella, what are you talking about, of course I want you forever…" I trailed off, trying to comprehend her words, "Bella?" I asked again.

"You just said," she paused, confusion seeping through her red eyes as she finally turned to face the rest of my family, "You just said you shouldn't have changed me," she continued, eyes still on my family, particularly Jasper, "Do you really think I would attack?" she asked suddenly, further devastation ruling her features.

Jasper's bewildered thoughts shouted at me from the other side of the room, but he said nothing. "Bella, of course we don't think you will attack anybody, Jasper is just trying to be cautious. And what are you talking about, I never said—," I cut off as I further examined her tortured face. Oh how I longed to read her mind. Of all the minds on this planet, hers, the most confusing and interesting of all had to be the only one I couldn't read.

She stared at me with interest for a moment. It wasn't a long moment, but I knew it was time enough for thousands of thoughts to pass through the mind of a vampire. "Do you regret changing me because of Tanya?" she asked, completely throwing me for a loop.

"Excuse me?" I asked, I felt as though my head was hurting.

"I heard you and Alice talking about Tanya," she said defensively, "About how she used to be _interested_ in you," she emphasized the word interested, and I almost fell over with the weight of my puzzlement.

"Bella," I tried to calm her once again, as she took a further step back, "What on Earth are you talking about?" That was all I could manage to say. Alice and I had never even mentioned that Tanya was _interested_ in me, as Bella put it. I knew she would probably hate me for changing her, but her reaction was completely chaotic, she thought I didn't want her? How could she possibly think I didn't want her, of all the ridiculous things I had ever heard in my lifetime?

Slowly she tore her eyes away from mine, and she looked at my family again, "I feel so confused," she admitted.

Jasper was the one to answer this time, "Everybody does, I feel it," he said quietly.

"Me too, I feel confusion and anxiety like it's surrounding me!" she said desperately.

The pain on her face was heartbreaking, I reached out to her once again, "Bella," I choked, "Please, I'm so sorry, I know this is confusing. Please tell me what you feel," I begged. I felt Jasper trying to influence her emotions by releasing a wave of calm, but it was hard for him to find serenity himself. His usual calming technique was escaping him.

"What do you mean?" she asked suddenly, staring at Alice.

The rest of my family looked to Alice expectantly as well, as if she had said something we all couldn't hear. Bella turned to watch me as I replayed in my mind the thoughts which had been in Alice's head a few seconds ago. She had been wondering if Bella had some sort of gift like Jasper's, where she could feel other people's emotions.

"I didn't say anything," Alice finally said quietly. _Did she _hear _me? Bella, can you hear me?_ She thought in her mind.

"Of course I can," Bella said evenly, bringing her gaze back to Alice as her eyebrows furrowed on her forehead.

Alice and I gasped at the same time. _Bella?_ I asked silently.

She turned with new vampire speed to look at me questioningly, "Yes?" she said a little shakily.

"Bella!" I said a little more excitedly. So she was a mind reader as well?

"A mind reader?" she asked, and the rest of my family gasped. Theories were running crazily through Carlisle's mind as he understood what was happening. He quickly recalled my own birth into the vampire world and the discovery that I could read minds.

"Everybody is so excited," she asserted seriously, "I can feel it," she said as she turned to look at Jasper questioningly.

He nodded, "As can I," _Empathetic as well?_ He wondered.

"That's what Alice thought," she answered Jasper. Emmet looked annoyed, and Rosalie was definitely annoyed with the amount of silent conversation happening in the room, but when Bella's eyes finally met her gaze, she momentarily forgot her annoyance. In its place there was only joy at the realization of her new sister's place in our family. I smiled a little as well, and I felt a wave of relief fill the room. I wasn't sure if it came from Bella or Jasper.

Emmett and Jasper had relaxed out of their protective poses, but the family hadn't moved from their positions behind them. The whirlwind of events and confusion which had just blown through this room had yet to settle.

Before Emmett could stop her, Rosalie was in front of their stone wall of protection and approaching Bella with arms outstretched. Esme looked on with pride as Rosalie crossed the room then wrapped her arms around Bella, _I'm so glad you're okay,_ she thought before she spoke, "Welcome to the family," she teased.

Bella smiled an actual smile for the first time, then allowed her eyes to meet mine. I could physically feel the relief radiating off of myself, so if she really was an empathetic vampire, I was certain she would be able to feel it too. "I'm so glad you're alright as well," _I was so worried that something might have gone wrong_, I thought as I slowly walked around the edge of the bed and embraced her as well after Rose stepped back.

Enjoying my new ability to communicate with Bella without speaking, I allowed thought after thought to fill my mind, all directed at Bella. _I'm so sorry that I put you through all of that. I hope you don't grow to regret it, or resent me. I just couldn't bear to lose you once again. It nearly destroyed me the first time, I had no desire to continue my lonely life upon this Earth. _

I paused in my thoughts for a moment as I tried to decide how to explain to Bella that she was my beloved. _Bella I love you more than a caged bird loves the sky, more than the Earth loves the Sun, more than a dried mouth loves a drop of rain. _"And I need you all the more," I continued out loud breaking the silence which filled the room as my family watched our nearly silent exchange. "Bella, without you I am nothing, and before you I was nothing. I will never be the same, because you are a part of me, my other half," I finished softly. Her eyes never left mine as I held her, but her hands remained at her sides, as if she was deciding whether or not to believe me.

My family said nothing as they took their cue and silently filed out of the room. They would give us our moment, then return to discuss the situation later. "And now I must apologize," I continued, and she stiffened as if she had been waiting for this part. "Bella you don't know how sorry I am for what I've done to you. It was always my dream for you to have a normal human life because I wanted you to be happy." _Apparently fate had other plans for you because again and again she denied you that life, whilst I did everything in my power to give it to you. _

Tentatively her frozen figure began to melt as she leaned into me the smallest degree. I cherished the minute change in her posture and briefly considered some of the many reasons I loved her, knowing she would hear it. I of course began with the freesia scent which danced right off of her and filled my entire being, particularly with her so close.

"But alas I am a selfish being," I continued apologetically, "I always have been. Just like last time, I realized that I cannot live without you and I went running back to you. But this," I motioned down toward her new body, "This was inexcusable, you were at Heaven's gates and I ripped you back and forced you to face Hell's fires, then an eternal purgatory at my side, all so that I wouldn't lose you. Bella I would understand if you never forgave me, but know that I will always be here in case you do—," I stopped short with a new realization. What if Bella left me because she hated me so much? Would I be able to let her go then, if it was her will? I didn't think so, but how could I deny her what she wanted?

"Edward, stop," she commanded as she lifted a finger and placed it over my lips. My lips tingled with the contact and I struggled to bring my attention back to her words. I should have focused on her eyes, but my gaze had trained itself on her lips, which twitched a bit as if she wanted to smile in response to my thoughts. "How could I ever hate you for giving me exactly what I wanted?" she questioned, and I froze as I listened to the glorious sound of wind chimes.

"Edward you are my Heaven, and I would walk through Hell's fires a thousand times if it meant I could spend eternity at your side. As for fate, perhaps she was trying to direct us onto this path for a reason," she mused. I smiled and hugged her small sturdy frame to mine and allowed the joy I felt to consume me.

When Bella finally tightened her grasp around me, it was a lot firmer than I could have imagined. Newborns were strong with the amount of blood still in their body, and it actually kind of hurt, though in the best way possible. I prevented myself from flinching, but she had already heard my thoughts. I frowned as she released me, her eyes were apologetic.

"I'm so sorry," she sang with her musical voice, "Did I hurt you?"

"Of course not, my Bella, you're just a bit stronger than I am right now. You're going to have to try and not break me," I explained lightheartedly. Oh the irony, it was her turn to be the cautious one, I realized selfishly that I could be as callous as I wanted, she was nearly indestructible now.

With that realization, I gripped her far more forcefully than I ever had and bent down to kiss her perfect lips. Her response was instantaneous. As I wrapped my arms around her lower back and neck, her fingers went straight for the hair on the back of my neck.

We wrapped ourselves together in a familiar way, at first. The tantalizing scent of her blood and the warmth of her human body which I had grown so accustomed to were gone, but I couldn't decide if I missed them. She still smelled appetizing, though in a far different way, and she was still warm, compared to my own temperature at least. I tried not to think about her newly absent chocolate brown eyes though, those I would miss.

As the moments ticked by, I kissed her far more deeply than I ever had before. Rather than trying to prevent her deepening of the kiss as was the usual, I pulled her deeper and deeper still until we were the only two people in the universe. I could feel Bella struggling not to grip me too tightly and I chuckled as I pulled her against me tighter in response.

The selfishness in me had complete and total control of my body as I gave in to its will and reveled in the moment. I tried to think of the reasons that I had ever possessed for keeping Bella human but came up with nothing. At that moment, there was nothing wrong with the world, because in that world were simply Bella and I, and nobody else.

Finally minutes or potentially hours later, Emmett's annoyed thoughts broke through my stream of consciousness. Apparently he had found it necessary to return and interrupt, _Sheesh_ w_ould you two get a room!_ He thought in our general direction, knowing we both would hear it. I had no idea how long we had been locked in our kiss, but I was not about to break it so I ignored him. Bella however, seemed to find it necessary to address Emmett, much to my chagrin.

"Emmett, this _is_ our room!" she pointed out. My chagrin vanished and I thought I could die of sheer happiness right there, hearing Bella not only rebuke Emmett, but refer to this as _our_ room.

I tried to kiss her again, but this time Jasper interrupted us with a slight cough, perhaps attempting to be a bit more polite than Emmett. "Edward, you have all the time in the world for that," he chided. _Bella needs to hunt, her thirst is probably unbearable right now_.

Bella and I straightened up immediately at that thought. I feeling like an utter fool for forgetting about Bella's needs and Bella clutching her throat.

"I feel foolishness, annoyance, and wariness," announced Bella, eyeing me, Emmett, then Jasper respectively.

"Your gift seems to work almost exactly like mine," responded Jasper curiously.

"And now curiosity," she whispered then grew silent, seemingly immersed in thoughts I would kill to hear for myself.

"So let me get this straight," demanded Emmett, "You can feel people's emotions _and_ hear what they're thinking?" he asked. _Can you shoot laser beams out of your eyes as well?_

"Emmett, please," I scolded.

"I don't know," sighed Bella, "But I couldn't feel Edward's emotions when it was just the two of us in the room, and now I can feel them," she looked to me with confusion.

Jasper locked that tidbit of information away for further discussion with Carlisle. Could her empathy turn on and off?

"It's a lot to take in," she continued, "When I first woke up I heard so many voices and felt such strong emotions, along with mine. It was disorienting."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder protectively as Alice, Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie entered the room. Apparently we were going to have a family discussion now after all.

Alice was carrying the large vanity mirror from Rosalie's closet, intent on making sure Bella got a good idea of what she looked like. "So many thoughts," Bella mused, turning to me with a hint of appreciation, "I don't know how you manage."

"I'll teach you my love, it's all about focus."

"And so many emotions," she said timidly as well, looking to Jasper.

"And I would be honored to help you deal with that as well," he responded in his most gentlemanly voice.

"First things, first," tweeted Alice as she placed the mirror firmly on the ground, "Bella, come over here," she commanded.

Slowly Bella walked toward the mirror and stopped before it, eyeing the beautiful creature locked in the other side of the glass. Her mouth dropped, and I thought for a moment, it was out of appreciation for what she saw until I heard her speak, "The eyes?" she choked out, with horror beneath her perfect wind chimes.

"It will only be a few months, animal blood dilutes the color fairly quickly," Carlisle explained, trying to calm her.

"Months?" she asked with a much higher pitch, looking to Carlisle for verification.

Jasper tensed immediately feeling the change in her emotions. I could feel the horror radiating off of her as well as everybody else. We all froze.

"Sorry," she said softly as she relaxed.

_What control, I've never seen a newborn correct themselves that way_, thought Jasper eyeing Bella incredulously.

Carlisle was impressed as well. I, on the other hand, was a bit smug. My Bella was under much more control than they were giving her credit for.

"You are quite controlled," Carlisle mused, "How do you feel?" he asked, both concerned and curious.

It didn't seem like Bella took any time to consider, but her answer was very thought out, "Overwhelmed," she stated certainly, "There's so _much_ to going on in my mind and body. So many new feelings and thoughts, my emotions are a thousand times stronger, and then sometimes I can feel everybody else's as well, and those are strong. And on top of that, there's everybody's thoughts, and my new strength, and Edward's remorse…" she trailed off, and I found that I missed the wind chimes filling the room with sweet sound.

Bella smiled and turned to face me. "I love you," she whispered. I was certain that my face had lit up, as if a white flame was burning beneath it.

"As I love you," I responded just as quietly.

"And I'm not so certain about being controlled," she added warily to Carlisle.

Carlisle took in this information thoughtfully, "You should probably hunt, your thirst must be very uncomfortable," he paused, "We can discuss this all later," _particularly your gift, how interesting,_ he thought, and there were two mind readers listening this time instead of one.

Again Bella's fingers snaked around her slender neck as if trying to extinguish the flame within.

"Let's hunt, Bella," I said happily, as I dropped my arm from her shoulder to her hand.

Her eyes opened wide, alarm taking residence as the primary emotion behind those long lashes.

"It's quite simple, love. Instinctual," I smiled encouragingly,_ I'll show you if you want, I was under the impression you'd always wanted to see me hunt._

She laughed for the first time and I treasured the sweet sound of her voice. She closed her eyes for a moment as if trying to remember something, probably some vague human memory. When she opened her eyes though, they were completely glazed over, as if she was seeing something that wasn't there.

"Bella?" I questioned, she looked like Alice during a vision.

"Bella?" I tried again, finally she blinked and when she reopened her eyes their gaze went straight for Alice.

"I think the Denali's will be here when we return from our hunt," she said uncertainly. Alice gawked at her, Bella had never met the Denali's before. Alice's eyes focused on something as well and a vision of the Denali arrival preceded one of Bella's and my return from a hunt.

"That's the Denali's right?" Bella questioned, staring at Alice still.

"Yes," said Alice shakily, "How did you know that?" _And how did you know they were coming?_

"You and Edward were talking about the Denali's while I was still burning," Bella said softly. I cringed at the thought of Bella's pain, and she gripped my hand as if trying to reassure me. "Listening to you helped the time to pass more quickly," she said swiftly before returning to the discussion at hand, "And I just closed my eyes, and when I opened them I saw them at the house when Edward and I returned."

"That's not the vision Alice had," I said slowly. Carlisle's interest was very much engaged as he absorbed this new development.

"Bella had her own vision?" he wondered.

I nodded slowly, looking to Alice for confirmation. She had a huge smile on her face. "You can see the future too?" she marveled.

"What?" Emmett gaped at her. "Come on little sister, how many gifts do you have?"

I smiled proudly, "Bella must be the most gifted vampire I've ever met," I declared.

"Me too," added Carlisle, "I've never heard of a vampire having more than one gift, let alone three," he paused for a moment, speculations running wild in his head, "And these gifts operate exactly like the gifts of those around her?"

"Carlisle, there's something else," said Bella, "When Jasper's not in the room, I can't feel emotions. I know it's true, because as soon as he came back, I could feel them again."

"Amazing," breathed Carlisle. "Edward, if you don't mind…" he trailed off, his thoughts making it clear he wanted me to leave the room.

"Carlisle is this really necessary?" I protested.

"Please Edward, just for a minute," he bargained. I couldn't believe he actually expected me to leave her side. "Just run to the large oak tree halfway to the Southern end of our property and back, that should take about a minute," he suggested.

"Fine," I growled. I bent down and kissed Bella's perfect lips, hating to leave them. I was relieved to see she was none too pleased with the idea either. _I'll be right back_, I promised both her and myself.

I sprinted down the stairs and ran with blinding speed until I reached the oak Carlisle had been referring to. The wind whipped through my hair, clearing my head as I ran probably faster than I had ever run before. I was back to the room with 6 seconds to spare.

"Can I come in?" I asked petulantly, annoyed that I had to ask permission to enter my own room.

"Yes son, thank you," said Carlisle. I could actually hear the smile in his voice. It was the smile he always wore at the onslaught of new information, a new puzzle to solve.

"So what did we find out?" I wondered as I stepped through the door.

"It seems Bella can only read our minds when you are in the room," said Carlisle jovially.

"Really?" I said, completely interested, despite my prior unwillingness to test that theory.

"It seems she is able to tap into your gifts when you are nearby, but the further away you are the less she can use the gift," he explained.

"It's awesome," piped Emmett, always eager to contribute to a conversation. Rosalie was impressed as well, there was only the smallest hint of jealousy in her mind, and it mostly had to do with Bella's appearance, not her gift.

Esme had taken my place beside Bella, her arms wrapped tightly around Bella's shoulders. "I think it's high past time, Bella went to hunt," interjected Esme. _Her throat must be burning her, and you all just wish to stay here discussing and testing her gift?_

"You're absolutely right, Esme," I agreed, I grabbed Bella's hand once again and led her toward the door and down the stairs without another word to my siblings, Carlisle, or Esme.

Bella chuckled as I dragged her out to the front porch. "Do you still feel the electricity as well?" she wondered softly motioning toward our clasped hands.

I immediately imagined the wonderful feeling of her skin on mine and our hands hooked together, making us one. I stopped short just outside the house and turned to face her. "Of course I do, why wouldn't I?"

"It's just, I thought I would be different if I was ever a vampire," she mused, "I thought I wouldn't be myself, or that I would be too crazed with blood lust, but I'm not. I still feel like me. Everything is so disorienting, but I'm just glad that you're with me and now we'll be together forever," she paused for a moment, then added softly, "Thank you for that."

I reached over and trailed my finger down the smooth skin on her face, "Now nothing will bring us apart. Not fate, not life, not death, _nothing_," I vowed as I brought my lips down to meet hers once again.

Whatever fate's purposes, our love had overcome.

**A/N** **Please don't hate me! I know people don't like when Bella has all sorts of super powers, etc. But it has to be that way for the story, I'm sorry…. I had no choice! (ha) Anyway, if you decide you're never going to read this story again because of it, please tell me. I'm curious to know how many people were discouraged by that.**


	18. Old and New

**A/N Thank you all for reading still, even after what I did last chapter. Another big thank you everyone who reviewed. Some of you are a little bit unsure about what Bella's powers actually are and how they work, and I promise you'll know as soon as Edward does. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I'm just borrowing. **

**I hope you like this chapter!**

**Oh one more thing, watch out for the end… slight cliff hanger. And if you're paying close attention, you'll get your answer to the game "Alice" at the end of this chapter as well.**

Chapter 18 – EPOV

"Close your eyes," I whispered and I held her arms at her sides as I waited for her to obey. The fertile green of the plant life which surrounded us was not particularly distracting, but I wanted Bella to focus on her other senses and not rely on sight. I wanted her to realize her instincts.

We were no more than a mile away from the house, but far enough into the surrounding woods that we would have a chance to find some deer to help quench Bella's thirst. Though we rarely hunted on our property, I knew it would be unwise to take Bella to Carlisle's nature preserve today. A newborn vampire would not have the restraint to keep from killing a human; something Bella was fervently opposed to and afraid of.

"You promise you can stop me if there are any humans?" she asked for the third time since we left our front yard.

"Bella," I chided, "Emmett checked a few hours ago, there's nobody out here," I tried to reassure her.

"That's not a yes," she reminded me, abruptly opening her eyes to stare at me with fright.

_I know._ I said with my mind's voice. As a newborn, Bella was much stronger than I, so in reality there would probably not be very much I could do if she crossed paths with an unlucky human. But I knew this forest was clear of anything besides the plant and animal life which inhabited it. Nobody had stepped foot within our property line since we first purchased the land.

"Eyes closed," I instructed again. With more reluctance than before she allowed her lids to fall and waited for me to speak again. I couldn't help myself as I touched the smooth pale lids which shielded me from the windows to her soul. I tried not to think about the electricity I felt pulsing between us as my hand trailed down to her chin, constantly reminding myself that she could hear my thoughts and right now she needed to focus.

"What do you hear?" I asked in an attempt to bring us both back to the task at hand. There was a slight smile threatening her lips in response to my thoughts so I more fervently concentrated on the question I had asked.

She was silent for a moment before she answered. "Everything," she sighed.

I nearly chuckled at her amazed reply, but quickly reigned myself in and waited. I was looking for a specific answer.

"Three deer grazing half a mile to the northeast," she whispered and I beamed.

"What do you smell?" I asked just as softly as I allowed my finger to trail to her nose.

"Hmmm…" she seemed to consider for a moment. "Honey, lilac, and sun," she smiled, as her eyes opened playfully.

"Excuse me?" I asked, mystified.

"That's the best description I could come up with for your scent," she laughed, "It's very distinctive, and actually one of the first things I noticed when we met in the hospital almost two weeks ago."

I could hardly believe it had only been two weeks since I first found my Bella again. While the time had flown that first week she spent at our house, it had dragged the last few days. So much had transpired. "You seem to remember that with amazing clarity," I realized with surprise. Human memories usually seemed to fade so quickly once new vampire memories filled your mind. They were so dull and hard to comprehend.

Hearing my thoughts, she considered for a moment before answering. "My memories are different than my current thoughts, but I wouldn't say faded," she paused, "I think I remember more than I did before."

"More?" I verified, perplexed.

"Well, I feel like I remember more about my life in Forks, about my life in Chicago, even about my life in Italy."

"So you're positive you lived in Italy?" I remembered back to our conversation last week when we discovered that Bella still knew Italian.

She nodded her head. "It doesn't really smell that appealing does it?" she questioned out of the blue. Reading the confusion in my head she explained, "Animal blood, that is. Without your suggestion and if my throat didn't burn so much, I probably wouldn't even consider it."

I chuckled a little. "You get used to it," I assuaged.

"Sure, sure," she agreed with a light laugh.

"Where did you pick up that charming phrase?" I teased. It sounded so foreign coming from her mouth, perhaps I simply wasn't used to feeling so lighthearted with her, and joking around.

"I think a friend of mine used to say it," she semi-laughed, there was brooding underneath though. Perhaps she was remembering something.

I couldn't be certain, so I lightly tapped her forehead, "What is going on up there? Will I never know?" I playfully demanded, hardly hiding the longing in my voice.

She simply smiled and ignored my query as she looked into my eyes intently. "Are you—," she began to ask a question, but paused abruptly and changed it, "Are you ready to hunt yet?"

I grinned despite myself. I didn't enjoy knowing that she would rather not share a thought or question with me. However, her voiced question was so carefree that I had no trouble dismissing my curiosity about her thoughts, for later consideration of course, as my lips turned up in anticipation.

"Oh, I'm ready. But are you?" I challenged.

I was delighted by the smirk which captured her features as she crouched into what could have easily been a familiar hunting stance. She was definitely a natural.

She took off running toward the tangy scent of the deer's pulsing blood. She was fast, but I undoubtedly could have overtaken her. Instead I simply followed and admired the foreign grace which she used to sinuously stalk her prey.

She paused for hardly a second in the bushes near a small clearing in the trees. The clouds overhead had freed the sun, at least momentarily, and a few bright late morning rays illuminated the figures of the grazing deer.

A soft, warm breeze stirred the scents in the area. The largest of the deer looked up anxiously, sensing the imminent danger. His antlers angled backward as he sniffed the air and then turned to bolt out of the area. He was too slow.

Bella coiled and before the buck had taken two steps, she was flying through the air. She pounced on the ill-fated male as the others fled. With unmistakable force, she brought the buck's neck to her searching mouth.

I think I snapped a limb on a nearby tree as I watched her. She was magnificent. With unequaled beauty and terror she ended the buck's life, making a mess of the clothes Alice had dressed her in. As if that wasn't breathtaking enough, the sun sparkled off of her skin as if there were a thousand diamonds embedded within. I gasped as I fully took her in, there couldn't possibly be anything more beautiful than Bella in the entire world.

When she was finished, she pushed the carcass off of her and sprinted to my side. I didn't even realize she had been aware of my presence. Her still red eyes didn't leave mine as she bent and ripped the seam of her dress further up her leg. I had noticed it rip as she pounced, the dress really was too constricting, but now my eyes were glued to the place the seam had been.

Next she unclasped the silvery high heeled shoes which adorned her feet and handed them to me without hesitation. I felt my breathing hitch. I had never seen this side of Bella before, yet it was so instinctual, and confident, and breathtaking, and I felt my own mind stutter in search of words. There were simply no words to describe the being which stood before me, waiting for me to speak.

I tossed the shoes behind me without a thought and heard them hit a tree, hard. I reached for her as she reached for me, and I proceeded to kiss her without a hint of worry or concern. It was more than Earth shattering, the new way I was able to hold her. The electricity I was so used to feeling between us had accelerated and dulled into a warm pulsation which only served to bring us closer.

Several too short minutes later, though neither of us needed air, I paused to take a breather as I pulled back to look at her face. She was stunning. Her eyes were a bit frenzied, as I imagined mine probably were as well, and I startled when I finally realized we were no longer standing, but sprawled out on the ground not far from the clearing.

She laughed and I remembered that she was hearing my thoughts loud and clear. "Sorry, I think I sprung on you and knocked us both down," she answered my thoughts and I joined in the laughter.

With a mind of their own, my hands found their way to the side of her legs and I enjoyed more than ever the modifications to the dress. I almost allowed another laugh to escape when I remembered how much I thought I had liked the dress before. Her gaze swooped to mine and we remained locked in our world for an unknown amount of time. It felt like we had been searching for the ability to be happy and joyful together for centuries and perhaps we had. Upon finally finding it, the bliss I felt was unrivaled. I never wanted it to end, and I reveled in the fact that perhaps it never had to. Again I tried to remember any of the reasons I had for not wanting to transform her into a vampire. There was something about her eternal happiness—but I couldn't be certain anymore.

"Bella," I whispered, somewhat nervously. I wondered if Alice was able to see what I had just decided. A concrete thought hadn't passed my mind so I was pretty certain Bella hadn't caught it unless she was concentrating really hard. She continued to stare at me curiously as I kept from phrasing my question both in my mind and in my voice. I felt a hint of relief that she didn't yet know because we were lying on the ground wrapped in each other's embrace and I couldn't bring myself to break this contact in any way for any reason.

"Will you marry me?" I finally asked, unable to keep my curiosity at bay any longer. I wondered if I shouldn't have asked this question since her body was technically only sixteen years old, and she had only known me for two weeks this time around. I waited anxiously for an answer, trying in vain to be patient.

She sat up and pulled me with her so that we were each kneeling and facing each other. I couldn't find hesitation in her eyes, nor a hint of anxiety. "Yes," she said softly and simply. I hardly had time to acknowledge the enormous smile which broke out on my face as she swooped in to kiss me again. I felt my doubts evaporate and let the joy of the moment surround us and fill us. I wasn't sure if I had ever been happier in my entire existence, probably not.

We sat there together in the shade of the tall pine trees and evergreens which surrounded us, each enjoying the new ability to be happy and whole. "Why am I still thirsty?" Bella finally scowled, pulling me back from my state of bliss, though just slightly.

"Because you're young," I explained as I stood then offered her my hand. She stood to join me with grace which was more pronounced than any vampire I had met and placed her hand in mine.

With one mind we took notice of a second herd of deer gathered by the stream on the edge of our property. I decided to join Bella on the hunt this time. We each caught a doe with ease as we scoured the herd. I quickly drained my doe then took off in search of another, Bella was on my heels in no time and we parted as we caught separate scent trails.

I found myself contentedly filled after the second and went to search for Bella. She was finishing off another deer and I was glad to notice the tiniest hint of gold altering the hue of her crimson eyes. I also noticed that there was hardly anything left of her bloodied dress. I decided I should probably be a gentleman rather than take the time to absorb and admire the latest modifications to the late designer dress.

I chuckled as I shrugged out of my own stain free shirt and offered it to her. With wide eyes she accepted and covered herself in one swift motion when she caught a glimpse of the remnants of the once full length dress.

"How is it that your shirt remained fully intact?" she almost whined, but the sound was still beautiful, and enchanting, just as much as wind chimes.

"Lots of practice and control," I explained simply, beginning to pull her into a slight run. We were no longer on our property, though there was still no threat of humans, I was anxious to be back in the familiar territory.

"Will I ever be able to control myself when I hunt?" she wondered further, and I flashed her a smile as I imagined the frightening vision of her hunting.

"I certainly hope not," I replied with a smirk, the sense of blissful easiness had yet to wear off.

It was still before noon as we ran back to the house with increased speed. Bella's long powerful strides propelled her fast enough to keep up with if not pass any other member of my family, but I was smugly aware of the fact that I could run faster.

"Is that a fact?" asked Bella coyly, listening to my thoughts.

"There's only one way to find out," I teased.

Before I knew it she had lengthened her strides to the point where it seemed more like she was flying than running. She hardly touched the ground.

At first I could concentrate on nothing but the beauty of her strides, but knowing I would need to focus to win, I increased the frequency of my own bounds through the forest.

With great effort I overtook her and quickly lost track of her whereabouts as she ran behind me now. I came to a halt just off the corner of the front yard when I saw her leap over the very top of the house from the opposite side and stop short before casually leaning on one of the beams attaching the roof and floor on the front porch.

I was impressed. "How did you—?" I cut off as I noticed her amused expression had faltered and her gaze was no longer trained on me. She seemed to be listening to the voices, and maybe even the thoughts emanating from inside.

She gave me a tentative smile and I flitted to her side as she began her ascent of the front porch stairs on her way to the front door. She was walking at a human pace, and she seemed confused and somewhat dazed.

I could smell and hear evidence of the Denali coven's presence in the house. Just as Alice and Bella's visions had implied, the Denali's had arrived shortly before our own return from hunting.

"Bella?" I tried to coax her. I could hear the thoughts and voices from inside easily now as well.

"Oh we're so glad you could stop by," gushed Esme, "And no, it's quite alright that you didn't call, there's a reason we have Alice," she teased.

Alice's thoughts were playful as well as she was momentariliy distracted from the wedding arrangements she had preemptively been making in her mind. I realized with an internal groan that she must have seen a vision of my marriage proposal to Bella after all. There would be no stopping her planning the wedding, now. I hoped Bella wouldn't mind too much.

I heard Eleazar's voice next and Bella paused abruptly, staring at the doorknob as if it would bite her. "Thank you so much for your hospitality. It's so good to see you all again, where's Edward by the way?" he wondered casually, clearly they had not yet been informed about the latest turn of events.

Carlisle considered for a moment how he would answer, _Edward, are you coming inside any time soon?_ He asked me, he and Jasper were the only vampires in the house which had noticed our presence outside. I decided now was as good a time as any to make our entrance.

I opened the door and 12 pairs of golden eyes instantly met my then Bella's gaze.

_Who is _that_?_ wondered Tanya, uncomfortably.

_Yes they're back! This is gonna be interesting now,_ thought Emmett playfully, meeting my gaze. I couldn't decide whether smiling would be inappropriate or not. I was more than excited to show off Bella, despite Tanya's discomfort.

_Well, Tanya doesn't look pleased_, thought Rose, Kate, and Irinia almost simultaneously, only Rose was a bit smug. She had never been on the friendliest terms with Tanya since Tanya fancied herself easily as appealing as Rosalie. I honestly couldn't see the draw which so many men had felt for either of the two, especially compared to Bella.

Standing next to Kate was a light-haired vampire who I didn't recognize, so I assumed he must be Garret. I was deciding whether I should begin with introductions, and I allowed my gaze to travel to Carlisle's.

_Hello Edward, good hunt?_ Asked Carlisle's thoughts. I smiled, but when I looked at Bella, I became too distracted by the exchange going on between her and Eleazar to answer Carlisle outright.

"Eleazar?" she wondered softly, staring at the black haired vampire with pure astonishment.

The look on Eleazar's face was nearly the same. "Elena?" he asked.

**A/N** **Whew! Finally, I got to give away a little piece of the story. Hope you liked it! Sorry about the cliff hanger, I know it's rude… Oh and the answer to "Alice" the game where you had the opportunity to guess who was going to come into play who was a part of Bella's past was: Eleazar!!!! Now, you're just going to have to wait to see why he was so important…. Sorry, I know everybody's probably way sick of my antics. And I am tempted to just spill the beans right here, but where's the fun in that?**


	19. Mysteries Reincarnated

**A/N Whew! This was a difficult chapter to write! And I'll just say that's why I took forty freaking years to update. I really hope I didn't mess it up too much, but you might just have to bear with me here. I wanted you dedicated readers to at least have this much, even if it is a train wreck (which I really hope it's not).**

**So: A little foreword about what's going on in this chapter. Bella and Edward just got back from Bella's very first hunt out on Cullen property. She recognized Eleazar when they returned, and Eleazar recognized Bella as Elena. So this chapter is all about Eleazar and Bella explaining what exactly happened in Italy that made Bella move to Chicago, before Bella ever met Edward the very first time. **

**Disclaimer: I hope Ms. Meyer isn't too offended by my use of her lovely characters. I just love them. And I love the whole series, but it still would have been cool if this happened instead ;)**

Chapter 19 - EPOV

The room may have been silent, but my mind was filled with the screaming sounds of the minds of all the vampires surrounding me, all except for one at least. Bella seemed to have a look of near physical pain from all the foreign thoughts and emotions she was experiencing, but she was bravely ignoring them as her eyes remained locked in Eleazar's.

I tried to pick out specific thoughts from each of my family members and I wondered which Bella was hearing most prominently.

Eleazar's thoughts were confused and imprecise, a mixture of random images and incomplete sentences flashed through his head rapidly.

_Wait, Bella knows Eleazar? Bella, you know Eleazar?_ Emmett's voice boomed in my head above the other noises.

I watched as Bella's eyes flickered slightly toward Emmett in what seemed to be an acknowledgement, or some sort of positive response. Then her eyes returned to Eleazar's and the silent conversation continued. I continued scanning the thoughts of my family members and the Denali's as the louder ones intruded in my consciousness.

_How?_ Demanded Emmett again, but my concentration was pulled by another voice.

_Elena? Bella, what's going on? _Rosalie.

_Well I guess that explains my vision_, thought Alice as a quick glimpse of Bella and Eleazar hugging shone in her consciousness. If Bella saw that vision she didn't react, she simply continued staring at Eleazar, and her expression was one that I easily classified as a mixture of recognition and confusion.

_Bella, try to relax. Don't focus on the muddled emotions._ Jasper, of course attempting to calm the disorientation which seems to have been at least partially responsible for keeping Bella frozen in place.

_Bella seems to have quite a history with our family, I wonder how this came to pass. _Esme.

_Why are her eyes red?_ Wondered Kate who took a step closer to Carmen and Eleazar, acting on the unnamed desire to protect her family.

As my focus passed over Kate's consciousness to her companion Garret's I noted that he was only slightly more cohesive than Eleazar, so I didn't bother to strain upon his thoughts.

Irinia seemed to feel a slight discomfort at the new development and the intensive staring which Eleazar and Bella were engaged in. Her thoughts were similar to Kate's and I watched her move forward infinitesimally to join her sister in a protective stance.

_She seems to be too controlled to be a newborn, perhaps she is just passing through. I'm sure there is nothing going on between this random newcomer and Edward._ Thought Tanya possessively. She too had immediately spotted Bella's crimson eyes and I recognized her wishful thinking at its finest.

_¿Quién es ésta niña hermosa? __Edward, who is this beautiful girl?_ Carmen switched to English in her head, acknowledging the fact that I could read her thoughts as her eyes came to rest on mine. _And why is she staring at my husband like that?_ She wondered lightly. I immediately appreciated the joviality in her mind's voice, the tension from everybody else was becoming a little too much. I wondered how Bella was handling it.

_Really though, I've seen him stare at gifted vampires that way before, reading and understanding their gift, but I've never seen someone give him that look right back_, Carmen nearly laughed in her head. It was only then that I noticed the staring had changed, I couldn't place the new emotion behind Bella's eyes, but I realized right away that just as Carmen thought, Eleazar was attempting to get a read on Bella's gift, and if it were my guess, Bella was attempting the same thing.

Carlisle's thoughts were racing a mile a minute as they so often did, theories crossing his conscious and subconscious mind before he could rule them out or analyze them.

The mere 63 seconds of silence which had passed since Bella and Eleazar first recognized each other seemed to drag out for an eternity. Finally Eleazar broke the heavy silence in the room by addressing Bella. "Lei ricorda, Elena?" In fluid Italian he asked Bella simply if she remembered. All thoughts left the conscious minds of our companions as we waited for Bella's answer. Bella seemed to release an unnecessary breath, most likely from the renewed silence in her mind. If I hadn't been so tense and straining to hear the answer, I might have done the same.

Bella remained silent and brooding for another three quarters of a second before she answered. I watched as her eyes became somewhat unfocused during that short time frame. It didn't seem like she was having an Alice induced vision of the future, but perhaps a memory of a previous life.

"Sì, faccio, Eleazar," She said softly. I heard Rosalie translate the simple affirmative statement to Emmett, but he shrugged her off, refusing any further Italian translations.

"Rosie, I started learning Italian almost a week ago, I think I can follow a simple conversation by now," he whispered indignantly, and Rose stifled a chuckle in response.

Eleazar ran a hand through his dark hair in contemplation and turned to Carmen. Emmett and Rosalie's conversation had just reminded him he was not alone in a room with Bella, or as he knew her, Elena.

Carlisle spoke this time, "Eleazar, am I to assume you have already been acquainted with the newest member of our family, Bella?"

Tanya's thoughts were incredulous and she gaped at me. "Bella?" she asked, ineffectively hiding her frustration. "As in the human that completely messed you up all those years ago?"

"The very same," I smiled lovingly at Bella who's eyes had finally found their way back to mine.

"But," she tried to rearrange the disappointment in both her features and thoughts. I appreciated that. "Well, how? How did this happen? I thought she—," Tanya paused for a moment, searching for a way to put this delicately, "I thought she had died?"

I didn't really have an answer, or at least I didn't have a quick answer. I really didn't feel the desire to explain the miracle that was my Bella right now, when there were still mysteries which needed to be revealed, one in particular named Eleazar.

As if he heard the thoughts in my head, Eleazar turned to me abruptly. "This is Bella?" He motioned toward her. "I don't understand how this is possible, this is Elena, and Elena died a long time ago," he sighed sadly. "I saw her, and I heard that she had no pulse with my own ears. I was at her funeral, must have been less than fifty miles from this very spot. It was here in Chicago," he trailed off.

"You were?" Bella asked, with a hint of sadness, but also a little excitement, "Do you know what happened to my Babbo then?"

Eleazar thought about his answer for a moment, unaware that Bella could hear his thoughts. I had to cut him off though. Eleazar was able to read gifts, he should know by now what Bella's gift was and I had been hoping to understand it better once he had arrived to read her. But if he had read her gift, he would know that she could hear what he was thinking since I was in the room. And both Carmen and I had seen him at least attempting to read her, so why didn't he know yet? "Eleazar," I interupted, "Can't you read Bella's gift?"

He flinched for a moment, then met my eye. The room remained silent and I was able to tone out the voices of everybody else's minds as I focused on Eleazar. "No, not really," he said simply. Neither he, nor Bella seemed the least bit surprised.

"What do you mean?" Asked Alice now. "Can't you read gifts?" She paused for a moment, trying to calm the anxiety which was quite obvious in her tone, "I mean, isn't that your gift?" she tried to sound slightly less rude. I smiled at her efforts and she met my gaze with an embarrassed grin of her own. She had been as impatient to fully understand Bella's gift as I had been, and we had both mistakenly placed our hopes in Eleazar's ability to read gifts.

He made a soft, amused snort that was surprisingly delicate. "Edward, can you read her thoughts?" he asked, as if I should have picked up on the fact that these two inabilities were related.

"Well, no," I answered simply, with a touch of embarrassment at my lack of understanding.

_I didn't think so, _"She has some sort of mental shield," he concluded. "It's powerful, she's powerful, I can feel it. I'm just not entirely certain what that power is."

I stared at him for the moment, unable to process thought. Bella's hand had somehow ended up in mind, though only a small part of my mind remembered reaching for it.

Undeterred from her initial line of questioning, Bella seized the silence to ask Eleazar about her Babbo once again, "Eleazar, what happened to my Babbo?"

"Elena, your plan worked," he answered morosely, "He thought you went back to Italy. He was heartbroken but he never looked for you, just as you asked." Eleazar looked so sad as he spoke, and I felt my entire body freeze.

"What plan?" I choked out, drawing Bella's attention back to me. "What are you talking about?"

"It's a long story, Edward," she breathed, "I can remember it now though," and she paused for another moment, "Suffice to say you weren't the first vampire I ever met, I was tied up in the world of vampires long ago."

Carlisle was the first to speak this time, "Who?" he asked, unrelenting curiosity burning in his thoughts, "Who were the vampires you were involved with?"

"Well," she said softly, beginning her long story. All the vampires in the room relaxed into a mind for listening. "Maybe we should go sit down?" Bella asked uncertainly. We of course had no need to sit, but the fourteen of us had yet to move from the front entryway.

"Oh, of course, right this way everybody," Esme instructed with hospitality drenching her voice as she lead the way to the living room.

During the course of her home stay, Bella had gotten the chance to hear all of our stories, from what little we could remember of our human life, to our first meeting in Forks, up until now. I was not the only one relieved to finally have the opportunity to know Bella's full story as I settled myself in one of the luxurious love seats next to Bella.

"Before I was forced to move to Chicago," Bella began again, "I lived in a peaceful town in Italy. It was known for its complete and utter lack of crime."

"Volterra," said Carlisle quietly.

Bella smiled sadly and continued her story. "I lived there until I was twelve years old, that is until my mother disappeared."

"Disappeared?" asked Kate. Her involvement in this story was negligible in my opinion, but I knew the mention of Volterra, home of the powerful coven of law enforcing vampires would encourage her attention. The sisters had lost their "mother" to the Volturi a very long time ago, and now Kate was wondering if Bella's mother had suffered a similar fate.

Bella nodded her head. "And people didn't just disappear in Volterra," she answered.

"I should say not," mused Irinia, "The Volturi make damn sure of that, they don't allow any crime, or any hunting within the walls of their city."

Bella cringed slightly at her statement, and I wrapped my arm around her waist to comfort her.

_That still doesn't make them in any way the embodiment of justice_, thought Eleazar bitterly.

My head snapped up at that thought. Eleazar had been a member of the Volturi guard for more than a century, maybe even while Bella lived in Italy. I would have thought he supported the justice which the Volturi swore to protect. "Were you still on the guard at the time?" I asked him pointedly.

Eleazar looked up from his seat in between Carmen and Irinia to meet my eyes with a nod. _That's how I met Elena—Bella,_ he corrected internally. "Belinda had very sweet smelling blood," he stated, though once again found myself without an understanding of who or what he was talking about.

"Belinda was my mother's name," Bella sighed, probably hearing the confusion in mine and everybody else's minds.

"Are you familiar with the phrase 'la tua cantante'?" asked Eleazar.

"Your singer?" asked Emmett, perhaps a little too eager to demonstrate his understanding of Italian.

"Exactly," said Eleazar seriously, "That is exactly what Belinda was to Caius," he explained, "His singer. Her blood appealed to him more than any other blood in the world. And from what I've heard, that is exactly what Bella was to you Edward. It is truly amazing that you resisted," he sighed.

Carlisle smiled, "He has such strong willpower," he praised and I scoffed at both the both of them. My animalistic need to drink Bella's blood before she was changed was no reason to congratulate me, whether I resisted or not.

"So Caius broke their cardinal rule and killed her, an inhabitant of the city?" I nearly growled, "How did he even come in contact with her, I was under the impression that they hardly ever leave their castle." I remembered vividly the one time I had ever come in contact with the Volturi. It had been a mere number of weeks after I was first changed, Carlisle and I were still living in the outskirts of Chicago at the time as I tried to master my bloodlust. Aro and his brothers had come with a few members of the guard to visit Carlisle.

I remembered how strange looking the Volturi had been. Their features were as symmetrical as any other vampire's but their skin somehow looked aged. I hadn't dared ask about it out of fear of being rude, but Aro had answered my internal question after reading my mind. Like me, Aro had the ability to read minds, but his ability was very different from mine. While I could hear the immediate thoughts of anyone around me, Aro could hear every single thought and memory a person had ever had simply by touching them. After reading me, much to my embarrassment, Aro had informed me that the strange texture of his skin was a result of sitting still for so long, never leaving the castle. In fact, he admitted that it had been more than four decades since any of the brothers had left Volterra.

"It is indeed rare," Eleazar answered, "I'm not entirely certain about the details, but I know he did not attack her right away, simply because he did not want to break the rules which he himself helped to enforce. He was none too happy about it, but he returned to the castle and got permission from his brothers. Aro hated to waste such a gift as "la tua cantante" so he agreed wholeheartedly. Marcus probably couldn't have cared less, and within one night, Caius had claimed his prize. He didn't drink from a human again for months after that."

Bella had tensed with the story, but I could tell this was not news to her. I casually wondered when these memories had come back to her, perhaps with the confusion of the change she hadn't even processed these memories. I decided to save that question for later.

While Eleazar paused, locked in thoughts of his own, Bella took the opportunity to speak. "I searched for her, my poor Mamma; I had no idea where she went. Babbo was so sad and scared, but he tried to hide it for my sake. We sent out search parties looking for her, but she was nowhere to be found," Bella said somberly.

"Eventually I was the only one left looking. Even my Babbo had given up and attempted to move on with his life. Then one day, it was the festival for 'Saint Marcus'," she spat, "I saw these men in cloaks."

"The Volturi Guard?" I whispered and she nodded.

"Everybody wore cloaks and fangs that day, to celebrate the fact that 'Saint Marcus' expelled all of the make believe vampires from our city. It was really just a celebration of the fact that we had no crime within our city walls. I couldn't celebrate, because I knew of one crime. I was convinced that somebody had taken my mother," she remained silent for a moment and continued in a quieter voice as if begging me to understand, "There was no reason for her to have left."

I nodded. It was against Bella's nature to simply let something like that go, even if she was so young. Bella smiled at my thoughts and picked up the story once again.

"I watched the men in cloaks jump down a sewage drain. Needless to say, even to my barely twelve year old eyes, they looked suspicious," she paused, "There was something so strange about the way they walked, it was so graceful. And their faces were far more beautiful than any face I had ever seen, but their eyes," she shuddered, "Their eyes were red."

"Red like mine," she sighed with frustration.

"Not for long, my love," I tried to soother her. "Everybody's eyes start out that color," I hedged.

Every member of the Denali's turned to look at me with interest now. "She's a newborn?" asked Tanya, _But she's so controlled._

_Well that explains the red eyes,_ thought Kate as both she and Irinia dispelled their subconscious desire to protect their family.

"She is very controlled," smiled Carlisle proudly.

"Indeed," agreed Eleazar, "And I am duly amazed by the fact that she can remember her human life from so many decades ago," Eleazar pronounced, echoing my thoughts from earlier. "But I'm getting ahead of myself, because I don't even know how Elena is alive in the first place. Like I said before, I saw her, she was dead, and now you say that this is the same Bella who you all met half a century ago in Forks, who also died. Is this Elena reincarnated?" He finally finished his reasoning and looked up to meet Carlisle's eyes with questions written all over his own.

Carlisle smiled appreciatively. Eleazar was another curious soul, "I expect we should hear all about that, in good time," Carlisle assured him, "But I think first we need to continue with the story of Bella's history, because I somehow doubt that anybody here, besides maybe Bella and apparently you Eleazar, is entirely aware of Bella's past."

_I for one am very curious as to how she ended up a vampire, and back in Chicago, _alive_, for that matter, _thought Eleazar. I smirked and he grinned at me conspiratorially. He knew I was a lot more desperate to know the specifics of Bella's past than I was letting on and I did not have the patience to stop and explain the theory of reincarnation to him.

"Bella?" I asked, coaxing her forward with her story.

"Right," she nearly smiled in response to both Eleazar's and my thoughts before she continued, the corners of her mouth even twitched, "Well, I waited about an hour for the strange looking men to return, but they never did. So I followed them down the drain," she said it so matter-of-factly, I stared at her in shock, "It was large, and dark, but I saw the men jump down it, and I was eager to find my mother, or at least find what happened to her, so I jumped after them."

I groaned, loudly. "Oh Bella, why is self preservation such a foreign concept for you?" I begged to know.

I was too stunned by the beauty of the smile she shot me to argue again, so I remained silent as I waited for her to continue her story, "It was a lot further drop then I had anticipated," she admitted guiltily, perhaps seeing the error in her ways, "It hurt, and I scraped up my hands and knees pretty badly, I could feel the blood dripping down them, but I was used to getting scraped up like that, I was always a rather clumsy child," she added, and Emmett chuckled, "After a few minutes to regain my composure, I got up and started walking away from the fading evening light that the drain above me provided," she explained, completely unrepentant.

"Oh Bella," I sighed, "Please tell me this isn't true. Tell me you didn't try to follow a group of vampires through a dark underground drain while you were covered in blood."

"Relax Edward, she survived," Emmett shushed me, and I flinched.

Bella continued as if uninterrupted, "After what could have easily been hours of trekking through the dark abyss of the underground system of tunnels beneath Volterra, I finally saw a hint of light."

"Just great," I muttered darkly.

"When I got a little bit closer, I could see the figure of a man silhouetted in some sort of opening," I think I hissed with that addition to the story. Bella eyed me warily, "I stopped short when I realized what I was looking at and tried to hide against a wall, hoping that he wouldn't see me because after all, I was looking for the people responsible for taking my mother, and most likely they would be dangerous."

I rolled my eyes now, "But of course whoever it was probably saw you from a mile away."

"Oh yes, I most certainly did," Eleazar answered, shocking me into silence. So Eleazar was the first vampire Bella had met, besides the cloaked guardsmen. I physically tried to reduce the tension in my stance but gave up after a short second. "But I was trying very hard to control my bloodlust," he explained, and my tension increased so that I was sitting straight up clutching Bella's waist with far too much force, and probably more still than an ice sculpture, "I knew Aro would want to question her," he continued warily eyeing my tensed pose, "He would want to find out how she got there in the first place. The tunnel which led to the castle was not exactly easy to find." I watched a most unwelcome memory of Bella's young bloodied body hiding against the walls of the dank tunnel flash through Eleazar's mind. My tension momentarily wavered as I flinched and Eleazar eyed me apologetically.

"She was covered in blood though," said Carmen, impressed by her husband's resistance. Eleazar simply grimmaced at the memory, no more proud of his resistance than I. "It is a very good thing that you found her and not somebody else from the guard," she mused and I found myself nodding in agreement.

"Indeed," he sighed, then continued the story, "I had Ottavia, a human working at the castle, help Bella get cleaned up so that she could speak to Aro."

"It was terrifying and confusing," Bella gave her point of view, "His eyes were black and crazed, I could just tell he wanted to eat me or something to the like, and then Ottavia," she paused to allow a slight shudder, "Well, she was sickly pleasant, she only served to make me more uncomfortable and I hardly took notice of the fact that she meant me no harm."

"The Volturi had a human working for them named Ottavia?" I asked, amazed.

"I don't know what her real name was, but Aro decided to call her Ottavia because she was the eighth human they tried to keep in employment," Eleazar explained flatly.

"Eighth?" I gasped at the same time as Carlisle.

"Did she know what was going on inside the walls of the castle?" Carlisle asked.

Eleazar nodded his head.

"And didn't she stop to think that maybe that could be her?"

"She hoped that one day, they would change her," Eleazar answered in the same flat tone, "Really she was just a toy, an entertainment to them."

"Things are certainly very different from last time I was in Volterra," Carlisle mused unhappily.

"I brought Bella before the brothers," Eleazar said regretfully. "Aro asked her how she had found the castle, and she refused to answer," Eleazar continued with a hint of humor, _she was so brave, even from the first moment I dragged her out of the tunnel, that's why I felt the need to protect her,_ he thought to himself.

"I bet Aro didn't like that," Carlisle said softly.

"He most certainly did, on the contrary," Eleazar contradicted, "He thought it was hilarious, her obstinacy, that is."

_When did he become so sadistic?_ Carlisle wondered.

"Aro was quite as amused as a cat with a ball of yarn; right up until Bella demanded the brothers tell her what they had done with her mother."

I groaned once again and wrapped myself more forcefully around Bella, glad to have her in my arms. "They were taunting me, and I just knew that they were the ones who were responsible for her disappearance," she sighed.

"Didn't you even care what would happen to you?" I demanded.

"Of course I did," she sighed, "If something had happened to me, I knew that it would kill my Babbo, but at the same time, I sort of knew it was too late, that they already had me. There were too many of them for me to escape and I decided that I just had to know what had become of her before I died."

"Of course you did," I sighed in agreement.

"At the time, there were two new additions to the guard, twins named Jane and Alec," Eleazar picked up the story once again, "They were of course powerful, and Aro decided that it was time to give Bella a taste of who she was up against. Jane can torture people with her mind, you see, and she's a sadistic little thing at that. I watched in silence as Aro ordered Jane to use her powers to torture Bella."

I felt myself stiffen at the words, but I waited for him to continue. "Nothing happened though," Eleazar explained. "Jane's ability to torture people is a lot like Kate's gift." Kate narrowed her eyes at the comparison but Eleazar simply shrugged it off. "The pain you feel when affected by one of their gifts is simply mental, it does not really affect your body."

"Bella's mental shield?" I asked suddenly, recalling Eleazar's earlier words.

"Naturally," he replied. "Bella was completely unaffected by Jane's gift. She simply stood there in all of her bravery and arched an eyebrow at Aro as if questioning his sanity."

"Bravery?" Bella scoffed, "I was shaking in my shoes, rooted to my place in complete fear, that girl barely looked older than me, but the way she looked at me was so—horrible," she concluded.

"Thinking Jane incompetent, Aro had Jane test out her gift on a random member of the guard, I was glad to be in his favor at the time because Aro did not choose me," Eleazar grimmaced. "It of course brought the guardsmen down to his knees, screaming in agony."

Bella cringed as well, remembering the incident. "After that Aro looked at me with a new eye, almost jealous," she said, and I detected traces of anger lining her tone, "He approached me and asked me to hold out my hand. I was too petrified to disobey, he was so strange looking. He touched my hand with a very expectant look on his face, and after a few long moments he released it and smirked at me with that same coveting gleam in his eye."

"He tried to read her thoughts?" Carlisle asked.

"But he couldn't, could he?" I added.

"He asked me to read her next," Eleazar explained as he nodded in response to our questions, "That was my main purpose on the guard, reading gifts and identifying gifted vampires to join us. I found Alec and Jane, Demetri before that, and a few others."

"When gifts are powerful, I can usually read them, even when they're still human," Eleazar explained.

"You can sort of feel them," Bella corrected, and Eleazar looked at her quizzically.

_How do you know that?_ He wondered internally.

"I can borrow gifts," Bella responded to the thought and Eleazar smiled, he was only partially surprised at the fact that Bella read his thoughts. In his mind he had already built up a slight understanding of her gift, and I found myself hopeful once again that he would be able to provide us a better understanding of Bella's talent.

"I was wondering about that. When I read you that first time, all I could feel was that you were powerful, it's a hard feeling to identify, but I've gotten good at it with practice. I focused on you for a long time, before I felt the faintest hint of my own gift reflected back at me, I must have stared at you for a good ten minutes right there in Aro's chambers, trying to understand your gift. It was mostly fruitless though, and I gave Aro my best approximation of your gift, that you were a shield, and a powerful one at that."

"He asked me to join the guard after that," Bella said, disgustedly. "He said my choices were to become a member of the _privileged_ group that protects the city, or face the same fate as my mother."

"He underestimated her understanding of right and wrong," Eleazar chuckled, though I was at a loss to find anything humorous about a vampire threateningly my Bella's life, much less the Volturi.

"I pretty much told him to go to Hell," laughed Bella and Emmett joined her while I remained stoic, still unable to find amusement in this situation.

"Now I can guarantee he didn't like that answer," Eleazar again joined Bella's laughter, but it was half-hearted, and that made me worried. He cut off suddently, "So he told me to kill her, to take her out of Volterra and kill her however I wanted," he admitted regretfully. I was too far lost in the story and his memories to notice if I growled or not, but the thoughts around me seemed to pick up on a growl, so I made a special effort to keep quiet so I could hear what happened next, and try not to offend Eleazar who had somehow helped Bella. I reasoned in my head that even though Eleazar had admitted to beholding Bella's lifeless form, he probably hadn't killed her because they would be on much less friendlier terms now.

"Too bad you were such a softie," Bella laughed again, only half-way ignoring me as she rubbed soothing circles on my hand which was still clasped tightly on her side.

"Yeah, you had already won me over with your bravery," Eleazar smiled affectionately at Bella, "Bravery which I had been searching for myself as I realized more and more that the Volturi were not quite the just and fair law enforcers I had thought."

Irinia, Kate, Tanya, and Carlisle all looked taken aback by Eleazar's confession though. "They spared us our lives when we were connected with a crime," Irinia whispered. Long ago, the Volturi had paid the Denali's a rather unpleasant visit when their mother had created a vampire out of a human baby. Immortal children was the term used at the time to describe such volatile creatures which threatened the secrecy of our existence because they lacked the brain functions necessary to learn. The Volturi took it upon themselves to not only destroy all the immortal children, but punish their creators.

Eleazar stiffened minutely before answering, "They killed your mother," he sighed, "Don't tell me you're grateful."

The trio simply stared at him in varying levels of indignation. Garret was the one to break the silence, speaking out loud for the first time since my arrival with Bella. "Oh please," he sneered, "Those Italian Superiors are the very essence of corruption. They will put an end to any vampire that hunts within their city, yet when one of their own meets someone with super sweet blood, they turn a blind eye and let him break their rules."

I found that I almost immediately liked Garret and Eleazar's thoughts were as amused as mine as we both sent him small grins of approval. I decided to bring our attention back to the story of Bella's very first life which I was more than a little impatient to understand, "So how did you get Bella and her father to America?" I knew better than to think that Bella would go anywhere without her father, because that would potentially leave him in danger, so if Eleazar was going to take Bella anywhere, he would have had to take her father as well.

"I covered Bella's mouth to quiet her screaming and ran her through the underground tunnels until I was certain that there were no vampires close enough to hear us. When I stopped I put her down and made her promise not to scream. The promise was not effective right away, but eventually I convinced her that if she wasn't quiet she would be killed right away, by somebody other than me. Through teary eyes, in the dark tunnels beneath Volterra, she begged me to let her go because her father needed her. I of course had no intention of harming her, so once I explained that," _about fourteen times,_ he thought with a hint at humor, "She demanded to know what exactly I was since I could run so fast and who those men were back in the chambers."

"Always the hard questions," I sighed and gave Eleazar yet another conspiratorial smirk which he returned, as Bella's eyes narrowed dangerously in response to our internal teasing. I noticed right away that while the narrowed eyes were still quite becoming on her, they were not quite as adorable as they used to be. Rather than the angry kitten, Bella seemed much more like a tiger. I searched for a word to describe it, it was almost... sexy?

"Yes I imagine she probably gave you a fair share of difficult questions in the two life times you've had with her," he chuckled and Bella's narrowed eyes had straightened into one of amusement as well. I wasn't sure if it was in response to Eleazar's statment or my thoughts.

"Actually this is the third lifetime, I've had with her," I answered quietly, not sure whether I wanted to delve into this story just yet.

"Third?" He of course, had to ask.

"Yes, well, I had a brief meeting with her in Chicago, while I was still human. She was probably thirteen or fourteen years old. She made quite an impact on me though," I smiled, as I turned to give Bella a chaste little kiss on her hand. I imagined she would have blushed had she been able to, particularly in light of my previous thoughts concerning her angry face and the latest twist in my thoughts which spurred from the electric pulsing which I had deliberately brought to my lips. "But that still begs the question, how did she end up in Chicago?" I finally said when I was able to bring myself back to the pressing matter of Bella's past.

"By boat," Eleazar answered, simply. I crooked an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to clarify.

"Once I had explained our natures, and the fact that I needed to get Bella out of Volterra as quickly as possible, she vehemently refused to be taken unless I brought her Babbo as well."

"She can certainly be stubborn when she has a mind to," I smirked again, and Bella's eyes returned to their narrowed state. Definitely sexy.

"That's for certain. She said she would bite through her lip and cause herself to bleed so that I would be forced to drink her blood inside the walls of the city, against the wishes of the brothers, if I didn't stop to pick up her father," Eleazar almost laughed.

That effectively shut me up. I stared at Bella in shock. Tempting a vampire by threatening to make herself bleed was just a new low for the level of self preservation she had.

"You did what?" Emmett choked out through his loud guffaws as the rest of my family and the Denali's simply stared at her in shock.

"Well it worked," Bella defended impatiently, her chin jutting out slightly in most obvious support of my comment about her stubborness.

"So I ran her to her father's house, and we took the horse drawn carriage which he apparently used as a taxi for a living, hardly bothering to explain to him our frantic rush." I momentarily tried to picture the horse and carriage Bella's Babbo had employed to drive my human family home from the concert in downtown Chicago. I wondered if it was the same one.

"All I told him was that I found the men who killed Mamma and that we had to get out of the city because they were after me," Bella explained.

"We took the carriage to the nearest port, and I dropped them off, and paid the captain of a ship bound for Portugal heavily to leave within the hour."

Bella looked at him with thankfulness written all over her expression as he spoke. "The captain allowed the horse and carriage onto the ship as well, I gave them all the silver that I had and told them to board the first ship bound for America."

"It was enough to get us to America comfortably, and to get us a decent place to rent when we reached Chicago, where my father had some friends."

"Wait, wait, wait," said Carmen suddenly. "Was that the night I met you by the port?" she asked Eleazar, "This is the girl you saved?" she questioned further.

"The very same," Eleazar repeated my words from earlier.

"I'm so glad I was able to help you break away from those corrupt rulers," Carmen sighed contentedly.

"Me too," Eleazar agreed. "I don't know how long I could have continued lying to them about what happened to Elena. Aro would have demanded to read me eventually."

"So how did Bella die, if Aro never found out from you?" asked Rosalie suddenly.

I stared at Carlisle in shock when I both heard and saw his thoughts. Of course he had a theory, but it was not one I liked. "But I hardly had any human memories, and he didn't even say or think anything about Bella after he read me. Surely reading my thoughts after I changed couldn't have lead to him finding Bella?" I tried to defend myself as I replayed the encounter Carlisle and I had had with the Volturi shortly after my change. I hoped beyond hope that the memories of mine which Aro saw hadn't contained any recollection of Bella. It would have alerted them to her presence in Chicago when she was supposed to be dead. In other words, I would have been responsible once again for causing Bella's death. I let guilt fill me for a moment before Bella began rubbing my shoulder. She could both hear my thoughts and feel my emotions. I fought fuitily to resist the sense of calm which began to fill me because I knew it was artificial.

"Relax," she said softly. "It wasn't your fault, and don't you dare try to make it into your fault."

"But I let him read me without a second thought," I groaned.

"There's no way he could have seen a memory which you couldn't even picture yourself," she again tried to comfort me.

Eleazar frowned, and I felt the return of the clenching in my chest, as if my dead heart was somehow able to react to the fact that not once, but two times I had been responsible for Bella's death. "He can read your memories, even if you don't remember them anymore," he sighed, "He can see every thought you've ever had if he concentrates hard enough, and if what you say is true, that she had such a large impact on you, then thoughts of her would have been lingering in your subconscious, coloring a good number of your conscious thoughts. He would have seen her, and recognized her, and realized that I was lying," he sighed and Irinia gasped.

"Eleazar, how could you lie to the Volturi like that?" Irinia half shouted, "We're lucky they haven't come to punish us all!"

"Do not pretend that Eleazar didn't do the right thing by lying to save the girl you see before you," Carmen defended.

I agreed and nodded fervently as I listened to the two women fuming in their minds. "So you were there, when they killed her?" I asked and my voice broke on the last few words, but I needed clarification now.

"I was in Chicago, yes," Eleazar said, "Carmen was with me. I think Carlisle was still in Chicago at the time, but Carmen and I were intent upon keeping a low profile so we didn't try to stop by," he explained.

"But we never really got the chance to meet up with Bella and her father again as we had planned," Carmen continued the story now.

I sat in complete silence as horror overtook me. This was the part I was scared about. The part where Bella died. And now it was all my fault. "So what was that plan you mentioned earlier?" I asked Bella now, trying to put off the inevitable.

"I saw Jane one day when I was in town to pick up some groceries," Bella sighed, and I kept my groan internal at least. So I hadn't chosen a good subject to try and avoid talking about Bella's death. "She motioned for me to come to her, and oh how clearly I can just see that evil glint in her eye when she saw me," she stated, lost in her human memory. A small part of my mind again marveled at the fact that she could remember this human past of hers so clearly when she had died two times and lived two separate human lives after that time.

"Luckily it was bright out, and I remembered all too well what Eleazar had told me about how vampires couldn't expose themselves in the daylight. But overall, I knew it was too late. I realized that there was nowhere I could run where they wouldn't find me, so I went to the closest vendor and purchased some sheets of parchment paper and an ink pen," she stated with resignation, and I most certainly did not like where this story was headed. This sounded like a final letter, or even a will of some sort, I internally cringed at the thought.

"I wrote a long letter to my father, making it as cheery as I possibly could. I told him that I had been seeing a man, and that I was pregnant, and to save our family shame, that the man and I were eloping. I was seventeen and quite old enough to be married," she added, "Babbo had always worried that I was trying to care for him too much and that was why I never accepted compliments from any of the suitors. I knew he would actually be rather relieved to hear that I was hiding a relationship from him. I had heard that there was a ship leaving for Italy that day, so I told him that the two of us had jumped on that ship bound for Italy. I described in as much detail as I could the fact that he was the man of my dreams and that he didn't have to worry and I would come back once everything had blown over. I even went so far as to describe what he looked like," she cut off, looking at her hands longingly.

The feeling of longing swept the room quickly and before I could take notice of the thoughts of everybody in the room, I began rubbing soothing circles on Bella's back much like she had been doing to me. Bella seemd to notice after a moment that she was projecting her feelings, and she withdrew as Jasper helped her quickly replace the emotional climate of the room with one of tranquility.

_She already seems to have a pretty good understanding of how to work my gift, _thought Jasper, impressed,_ it took me years to stop unintentionally projecting my stronger emotions._

"I just didn't want him to suffer and think that I died," Bella said quietly, ignoring Jasper's thoughts, and now it was my turn to feel impressed. Bella was exceptionally good at handling my gift as well. I still struggled to tune out the mental voices of those around me.

"Want to hear how I described that ideal man who I eloped with, in an attempt to let some hint of contentment flow onto the pages?" she asked suddenly, eyeing me with what seemed to be irony in her expression.

"I bet I know," said Alice, "He had messy bronze hair and startling green eyes didn't he," she stated verbatim the description Bella had given when she told Alice about how we met the first time in Chicago.

"The most beautiful boy I had ever seen," Bella turned to face me with a new light in her eyes, and I heard Tanya's new internal sigh of appreciation and acceptance, finally allowing that maybe I had found my match in Bella. Bella's perception of me was completely ludicrous, of course, but all I could do was smile in response.

"I made two copies of the letter, and then I wrote one more letter to the only other person who would realize what really happened," Bella explained, returning to her story.

"Eleazar?" I asked and she nodded.

"I had no hope that he would find it because I had no idea that he was in the city, but I figured that if he was still tied to the Volturi in any way he might be able to find me. It explained everything, and asked that he check up on my father to make sure he believed I ran away to Italy."

"What did you do with the letters?" asked Emmett, voicing the question in nearly everybody's minds.

"I kept that letter tucked in my dress and asked two random young boys I passed to deliver the other messages to my house," she replied, "I gave them all the money I had, but I didn't entirely trust that I would be able to randomly pick an honorable person to deliver my message. That was why I wrote two, doubling the likelihood that my Babbo would get at least one of the letters." Even in the face of iminent death, Bella was practical.

"And he most certainly did," Eleazar answered. "I was the one who found your body just outside of town, and I read your letter," Eleazar said sadly, allowing another unwelcome memory of Bella's broken and limp body to fill my mind. I didn't have the strength to cringe, so I simply sat silently and waited for Eleazar to continue speaking.

"I wanted you to have a proper burial though," he sighed, "So I carried your body once more far outside of town to a rural family's home. I asked if they could help me bury my daughter," and at that he paused to look at Bella fondly, "I always wished that if I had had a daughter, she would be just like you, so brave, and clever, and caring about her parents. I did the one thing I could for your memory by having a proper burial even if your father couldn't know about it."

"Thank you Eleazar," Bella said almost silently.

_No, thank you Elena, for showing me your bravery,_ he thought. "Carmen had been waiting for me a few miles down the road from the country home, and she followed my scent and attended the burial as well," he added, effectively inviting Carmen to speak again when he could not.

"It was a very sad day," Carmen sighed, "The family had recently suffered a loss of a young daughter as well and they were very sympathetic. They helped us create a beautiful and moving ceremony. I wished that I could cry, simply because tears were the only appropriate response for the loss of this brave girl which I never met but Eleazar had spoken so fondly of."

"But apparently death was not enough to stop your soul from returning?" Eleazar asked now, directing his question at Bella in an attempt to gain access to the story of her return to life.

"Apparently Fate simply had other plans for her," I agreed, ignoring his attempt.

"Yeah plans that involved being with you forever," Tanya conceded, earning a gasp of approval and shock from Rosalie.

"Maybe Fate is a romantic," Emmett smiled, and we all laughed.

**A/N Whether or not fate is a romantic, I can hands down guarantee that I'm a romantic lol. So who got annoyed with this chapter? Who wants me to redo it? Oh and an extra disclaimer, the little bit of Italian littered through this chapter was compliments of Free Translation . com, I decided I really like that translator.**

**If you reread it, thank you so much. I hope you liked it better, sorry it's soooo long!**

**Recs: "Wide Awake" by AngstGodess003 and all three stories by Jazz2305 (those are some amazingly good stories and Jazz2305 is officially my new favorite writer on this site).**


	20. More Than Love

**A/N Hello everybody, and welcome to chapter 20! This is a quickie... but I think the quality is better than previous chapters, so in my opinion, you should read it! Some of you may be wondering, how on Earth did her quality get better? The credit goes to my favorite new beta reader: lolafalana!!!!! Go check out her stories as soon as you finish this chapter... or better yet, go now, then come back to this chapter. They're really good, you won't regret it! ;)**

**Thank you to everybody who is still reading this, even though there were a few rough chapters there. I'm sorry if you didn't like what I did with the story... but I guess I can't please everybody. I apologize for everything but the plot... So anyway, this chapter is set 3 days after the last chapter. For those of you who are keeping track, that would make it a Wednesday and Bella woke up from her change on Sunday morning. (And FYI if you want a timeline for the story so far just let me know, I've been keeping it written down so I don't get mixed up, but sharing is caring, so let me know if you want a copy).**

**Disclaimer anybody?... I don't own Twilight because I'm not StephEnie Meyer... Did you know that was spelled with an "E"? Look it up! (Just not in my earlier chapters hehe)**

**On with the story:**

Chapter 20 – EPOV

It was dark and rainy outside and I completely abhorred the idea of abandoning my dazzling fiancée, even for a few hours, but errands had to be completed if we were to have our wedding within the week, which Alice had insisted upon. Mostly we had to do some shopping downtown because we didn't have the necessary decorations for "the wedding of Bella's dreams" as Alice like to call it.

I shot one last glance out of our bedroom window at the dreary skies before I slipped on the shoes _my_ Bella was holding out to me, and then made my way down the stairs. I had only agreed to leave and accompany Alice downtown because I still needed to pick out the perfect band to give Bella for our wedding this weekend.

_Our wedding_.

I could hardly believe it was happening so remarkably soon. Mere weeks ago I had been despaired by the thought that I would be destined to walk this Earth alone for the rest of eternity. And now I realized that there was a distinct possibility that I was one of the happiest creatures on the entire planet. However, I constantly wondered and worried that perhaps this was too quick. Maybe this would be uncomfortable for Bella?

Admittedly, I had never been too familiar with her views on marriage. It was not a subject we heavily discussed during her previous life in Forks. At the time it had been uncommon for teenagers or even humans in their young twenties to wed, and now it was even more unusual. It seemed society had grown even less accustomed to the idea of settling down and committing to just one person. It was somewhat disturbing really, but I had seen cultural trends come and go. I was just glad to be able to say that the love Bella and I had was timeless.

Being an old man trapped in a seventeen year olds body made me more than ready to wed. Nevertheless, I had to admit I was a bit surprised when Bella agreed to marry me when I so abruptly asked her during our first hunt. I wasn't certain how much she remembered from her previous lives, but this time around, she had only known me for a matter of weeks, and she was still so young, and everything had happened so fast. Of course marriage was something I wanted desperately for our relationship, but in retrospect I realized that it would have been a good idea to at least have a ring to offer her when I proposed.

My thoughts wondered toward my mother's ring; one of the few family heirlooms I had from my human life. It was now nestled elegantly on Bella's flawless finger. The image made me smile. Hearing my thoughts, Bella allowed an affectionate smile to curve her perfect lips.

"It really is stunning," she whispered.

"It's all right," I disagreed, "But I don't believe I could refer to anything as stunning with you in the same room." Her disbelieving smile was still luminous. It did more than light up her countenance, it lit up the entire room. My breath caught for a moment as I stared at my sweet goddess. More beautiful than Aphrodite on the outside and simply beyond any kind of metaphor within, I loved and adored everything about her.

"I heard your thoughts just a moment ago," Bella mused after a moment while we stood in the living room. We were waiting for my shopping companions, Alice and Carmen. "And I wanted to explain something."

I felt my smile grow with that statement, because I had just decided that I rather liked having Bella in my head. As of late, it was a more pleasant place to be then it had been in all my existence. Though Bella reading my thoughts was only second best to me reading hers, I liked that she was now able to tell me what she thought in regards to any uncertainty of mine as soon as I thought about it.

"It's about why I accepted your proposal without question."

As I waited expectantly for the coveted explanation, Alice and Carmen joined us in the living room. Alice was anxious to leave so we could make it on time to the openings of the stores that were not typically twenty-four hour locations. She knew better than to interrupt any conversation in which Bella was giving me insight into the inner workings of her mind, and of that I was more than grateful.

"My body may look sixteen to you," Bella began with her soft, musical voice, "but like you, my mind is much older. I've known that I loved you for years now, ever since I started having those dreams. But _all_ of my memories returned to me after I was changed, and with remarkable clarity. All the love we shared when I met you in Forks and all the love you still hold for me now are blindingly obvious. As is the realization that I can never live without you again.

"While I may have had a different view on marriage while we were in Forks, in fact I'm rather certain that I was against the idea of a young marriage because of my mother, Renee," she added with a slightly faraway look in her eyes, "I haven't had the opportunity to be tainted by too many societal norms this time around. After all, the last few years of my life have been spent in a hospital, and before that, I rather wished that Stephenie had married, so that I might have been able to meet my father."

I heard Carmen's internal musings, her thoughts utterly wrapped around the idea of being trapped in a hospital for years without a family. I could certainly relate to her uneasiness, it did not sound pleasant. Upon the Denali's arrival three days ago, Bella had explained not only her first life, which had been a mystery to me at the time, but her second and third. Carmen had a compassionate heart, and she detested the fact that Bella had faced such hardships in her most recent life. Never having stepped foot in a modern hospital herself, Carmen had listened with a mix of horror and pure curiosity as Bella explained the logistics of the current medical systems and her thoughts on the yet-to-be improved hospital food.

"And how long has Esme been a nurse now?" Carmen questioned while looking from me to Bella. The statement may have seemed random to someone who couldn't read minds, but Carmen had been thinking quite a lot about both Carlisle's and Esme's involvement in the medical field of late. Many years ago it had been just Carlisle working in the hospitals, and Carmen had easily overlooked the idea of entering a similar field because nobody had the same restraint as Carlisle. Once Esme began working as a nurse, Carlisle's restraint became no less impressive, but somehow more attainable in Carmen's eyes. Perhaps she too could work at a hospital one day.

I chuckled lightly at Alice's outrage because yet another subject had been broached while we stood here in the living room discussing topics hardly related to the wedding at all. And I smiled again as thoughts of the imminent wedding filled my mind. Though the idea of marriage may seem superfluous for two vampires - who are immortally tied to each other as mates - the old fashioned gentleman in me simply screamed that I accomplish at least something right in our relationship.

That brought us back to the reason I was attending this shopping extravaganza which would force us to separate. I needed to purchase a wedding band and I hoped to find one that not only complimented my mother's engagement ring, but represented our love. It was certainly possible to order one online, but as with the rest of the wedding decorations, we would be picking them up in person in order to keep any potential deliverymen away from the house. We didn't want to test Bella's incredible self control. Again the gentleman in me was relieved that another tradition would be upheld and I would be picking the ring out myself, in person.

Alice and Carmen were assigned ring duty on Bella's behalf since Bella was unable to go herself, but last night they had discussed and compared visions of rings which Bella would like to give to me. Once again they had asked me to take a quick run away from the house so that Alice could think about the ring and not give away the surprise.

Bella walked us out to the car and gave Carmen a hug and Alice a kiss on the cheek. When it was my turn for a goodbye, I received yet another breathtaking kiss which would have left the human Bella's heart pounding and her lungs gasping for air. I loved her antics then, and I loved her, quite possibly even more, now. The all too common use of the word love never did suffice in explaining how much she meant to me. Perhaps one day I would be creative enough to come up with a word more powerful than love to show the world that what we had together was greater than life, greater than death, even greater than fate.

Those were my thoughts as I drove my Volvo away from the house, leaving _my_ Bella alone in the pouring rain and dark skies which swirled overhead. It was different this time, though – I'd return. I would never attempt to abandon my love again.

Thinking back on previous lives, I remembered how I once found the rain storms and dark skies of the windy city of Chicago to be very beautiful. At this particular moment I was at a loss to find their beauty, because Bella - my rain goddess - stood beneath the storm, watching us leave. All of the beauty that she captured in that moment had left nothing for nature.

"I more than love you, too," she sang just as I made my way out of hearing range. I probably wouldn't have heard it at all if my Volvo hadn't been so silent.

**A/N Againnnn... Thank you so much for reading. You have two options now, either go to Lolafalana's site and start reading a story or leave me a review (preferably one that says how glad you are that I contracted a beta). Since I'm nice, I'll give you a third option: both! (I know, how sweet of me!) Chapters 21 and 22 are in progress right now, and they will have plot! I said it, plot! See you next chapter! :)**


End file.
